


Unmasked

by Myoneloveismusic



Series: Unmasked Universe [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Jaytim - Freeform, Kidnapping, M/M, Obsession, Psychological Torture, Torture, Traumatic Experiences, college age Tim, established relationship Tim/Jason, non-canon villain, non-canon villain organization, rape not between Jason and Tim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-17 23:19:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 80,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5889013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myoneloveismusic/pseuds/Myoneloveismusic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day while at college, Tim Drake gets captured by an unknown group of masked men before Jason can get him away from the threat. Tim's been through a lot, what with being Red Robin and fighting crime for a majority of his life, but nothing could have prepared him for the type of threat that Bruce had taken painstaking steps to prevent. Someone knows who Tim is, and not just because he's the young genius behind Wayne Enterprises. A new villain, with a slight obsession with Tim, is convinced that after fighting for good for so long, it might be time to switch sides. Tim heartily disagrees with such ideas, but there's only so much pain that one person can take before he gives up, or worse, is pushed over the edge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first JayTim fic! Let me know what you think/how I'm doing. I posted the first two parts on Tumblr already and received some positive feedback for it so I decided to move it over here onto AO3. 
> 
> Again, first time writing JayTim so any feedback on their characterizations that you'd like to provide is welcome. (I actually don't read the comics (yet), so everything that I know has come from reading other fanfics)
> 
> If you'd like to hit me up on Tumblr it's: my-one-love-is-music
> 
> I'm always willing to chat with people or talk about anything. If you want to submit a prompt, go for it!
> 
> Enough of that though...
> 
> ~MOLIM

Tim pushed into his dorm room. He needed to get out. Like an hour ago. Which is pretty difficult since he didn’t know trouble was coming until about two seconds ago. He was walking past the front entrance when the black vans pulled up. With, very obvious, bullet-proof reinforced glass. He was used to having strange masked men chasing after him at night, but during the day...not so much. It wasn't a pleasant change either. How the hell was Tim supposed to fight off a group of men when he was supposed to be the innocent manager of Wayne Enterprises? Anyway, Tim didn’t have time to think about that right now. He threw his schoolbooks onto his bed and stuffed his laptop into his emergency bag. He'd just have to hope that whoever decided to break inside wouldn't cause too much damage, he'd rather not have to explain to Bruce why he needed _another_ laptop.

  
Tim slung his bag over his shoulder and was walking back to his door when a very heavy knock broke through the silence. Tim didn’t hesitate running over to the window since exit strategy #1 didn't look like it was going to work out any time soon. He was on the second floor, but that didn’t matter. He was Red Robin for a reason. And, of course, his only way out was compromised. There goes exit strategy #2. Two men stood below with their backs facing him. It was a rookie mistake honestly and if it was dark, he’d have no trouble taking them out, but he didn’t need the unwanted attention from his fellow college students. Whoever said the only bad exposure was no exposure sure as hell didn’t take superheroes into consideration.

  
The knocking came again and Tim whipped around to face the door. It was louder and more aggressive this time, making the door seem more ominous than a piece of wood should actually be. Of course those idiots must know that he’s here and Tim was pretty sure they were about to start breaking down some doors. Time for exit strategy #3, or the one that Tim just made up. He darted into the bathroom, not bothering to turn on any lights, seconds before his door was kicked in, wood splintering and flying inwards. The force of the intrusion causing the handle to force a hole through the plaster wall. And now Tim was going to be charged for room repairs. This day just kept getting better and better. Tim kept moving into the adjoining room that housed his suitemates, who were, fortunately, in class. Tim heard the voices in the other room, obviously unhappy that he wasn’t there just waiting for them, but seriously, who would be dumb enough to wait around for those muscle-heads? 

  
Tim pulled his hood up and opened the door, slipping silently into the hallway, his movements reminiscent of a cat. The doors were definitely not quiet and he knew the men could hear the noise, because his fucking college just had to keep causing him problems. Luckily, there was no one in the hallway and he took off sprinting in the other direction. Shouts and two sets of feet joined his after a couple of seconds, but Tim had a decent head start and he'd be damned if he didn't find a way out of this situation. Tim pulled out his cell and dialed the one number he knew he could at a time like this. It rang three times before being answered.

  
“It’s a little early for this, isn’t it, Baby Bird?” Jason asked. The smirk audible over the phone.

  
“Jason!” Tim gasped, both out of relief and lack of oxygen. He knew he should probably be annoyed, but, well, when you've got a group of men chasing you...priorities. 

  
“Tim? What’s wrong?” Jason was immediately on high alert, detecting something behind Tim’s one-worded reply.

  
“At least four guys. Don’t know how much they know. Two chasing me. Don’t know where the others are. In trouble at school. Need help.” Tim grit out between gasps of air. “Can’t attack in daylight.”

  
“Shit! I’m on my way Baby Bird. I’m not suiting up, for obvious reasons, but I’ll have a bike there in ten. Heh. Can you outlast them that long?” Tim could hear Jason moving around inside his safehouse.

  
Tim smirked. “Just who do you think you’re talking to, Jay?” He ducked into a stairwell and jumped up to the flight above, hoping the goons would head down. “Shh” Tim slowed down, silently creeping upwards and making his breaths quiet despite his incredible need for oxygen. The goons burst through the door and decided to split up, one heading down while the other one ran in Tim's direction. Tim continued up, barely managing to keep out of sight. He needed a door, or window, or some place to hide at least. Didn't Gotham U understand the need of having a easily concealed hide out? It was like the university wasn't even trying. 

  
Tim noticed a loose ceiling panel and went for it. Using a railing as leverage, he pushed off and pulled himself up and in, wincing as the tile clattered against the wall. The goon tailing him gave a shout and tried to reach up for him, which was utterly pointless because Tim could easily kick the guy's hands away. Tim made quick work of replacing the tile and moving away. He hoped that would prevent them from getting up into the ceiling and confusing them as to where he was headed. He silently worked his way back down the inclined ceiling of the stairwell, careful of the fragile ceiling and any possible noise he might make.

  
“You still there?” Jason asked carefully. Tim hummed softly in response, reluctant to make any more noise than necessary. “Good. ETA is five minutes.” Tim hummed again. The sound of Jason over the line sounded incredibly loud to him, like the crack of a gunshot interrupting the peace of a forest. He didn’t hear anything from below him and was hoping the goons were either too stupid to follow or had no idea where he was heading. Hell, he didn’t even know why they were there and why would he? They obviously weren't in the mood to have a nice chat with each other. This whole situation would have been hilarious if those guys weren't a very real threat.

  
“Don’t worry, Tim. I’m almost there.” _Hurry_. Tim mentally pleaded. As much as Tim, as well as Jason, knew he had the capabilities to get out of this situation as Red, there wasn’t much he could do as Tim and he was getting really pissed off at that fact. Tim knew he reached ground level when the ceiling levelled out and he was faced with a new problem. He swallowed heavily. 

  
The space between the ceiling and the floor above shrunk immensely. It was still big enough for Tim to fit, but there were air ducts and wires in the way. There was no way Tim would be able to make it through without at least breaking something or alerting those men to where he was and if he managed to get through there, how was he going to get out of the ceiling? He'd practically be a sitting duck. Tim took a breath, knowing that something bad was about to happen, but he didn’t have another option.

  
“Gotta go.” He whispered.

  
“Tim.” Jason sounded strange. “I’m almost there.”

  
“Need hands free. GPS on if something happens.” _I Love You._ Tim refused to say those words, this wasn't a goodbye. He hung up before Jason could say anything else and tucked the phone inside his clothes. Taking one more breath, Tim dropped out of the ceiling, but before he could get in a fighting stance, arms pinned his own to his sides. Tim struggled, but the guy had size and muscle on him. Seriously, why couldn't Tim get away from this guy? Tim wiggled and kicked frantically, looking for some form of opening.

  
“Looks like we got ourselves a fighter.” A sleazy voice said into his ear. Tim shivered. There were so many gross promises behind those words that he didn't even want to think about. Tim opened his mouth to scream, but a sweaty hand clapped over his mouth. “Let’s get pretty boy here in the van.”

  
Tim struggled even harder, but there wasn’t anything he could do. He was hauled out of the building and towards the van parked out front. Tim looked up in time to see Jason whip around the corner towards him. He renewed his struggle and fought out with all he had, trying to get some form of sound out. Jason gaped at him and Tim couldn't decide if it was out of shock due to the situation or that Tim couldn't get out of a simple bear hug. The other man that was with them swiftly raised a gun and shot Jason, knocking him from his bike. Tim tried to shout, but had the air knocked out of his lungs when he was thrown into the back of the truck, followed inside by the two goons.

  
He flattened himself against the back wall of the van and tried keeping away from the two men there with him, but they got a needle into him. This day was just not going his way. Tim’s world began tilting as the drug's effects kicked in. He slumped over, blackness wrapping him in a blanket that seemed more like a nightmare than a form of security. His last thoughts were of Jason, hoping that the older man was okay. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason got shot. He was out for a bit, but now he's awake, only to find out that Tim's still missing. Frantic Jason starts searching everywhere he can for his little bird, but where did he end up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second part! I seriously wanted to get this up sooner, but school man. Lots of things happening in college right now and it's probably only going to get more busy. I don't have any more of this written, but I'm going to try and write as much as I can. I have another ongoing fic too that I was hoping to get finished this month, but I don't think that's going to happen, because school.
> 
> Anyway...enjoy some freaked out Jason.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! And if you'd like to hit me up on tumblr it's: my-one-love-is-music
> 
> ~MOLIM

Jason was swimming, at least that's what it felt like. Everything was dark and murky and he had no idea where he was. He was forgetting something. He knew he was, but he just couldn’t remember what. It was definitely something important. Then, like a beacon of light, one thought filled his mind, his entire body and being. _Tim_. 

Jason sat up with a gasp. He needed to find Tim. He’d been taken because Jason hadn’t been fast enough. It was his fault that Tim was gone. He should’ve been faster, should’ve been able to stop Tim from hanging up on him and getting caught. He hadn't even told Tim that he loved him. 

“Woah, Jason! Jason, calm down.”

Jason looked around, still groggy from the drugs and the pain that was just now beginning to assault his body. “Dick?” He questioned.

Dick smiled. “Glad to see you’re not too damaged in the head after that.” 

Jason ignored him. “What happened? Where’s Tim?” 

Dick’s face fell. “You were shot in the shoulder. You’ve been out for about a day and a half.”

“And Tim?”

Dick shook his head. “We don’t have any idea as to where he is. The security cameras show that he was taken, but we don’t have any visuals and haven’t heard anything. There’s been no ransom sent out for a Timothy Drake-Wayne either.”

Jason put his head in his hands. “Shit. I can’t believe I’ve been out a day and a half and _nothing_. There’s got to be something that we’re missing.”

Dick shrugged. “Maybe, but we’re seriously at a loss right now. We’ve had no contact with the Tim-nappers and our usual brilliant, blue-eyed detective is currently MIA.”

Jason jumped off of the medical table, swaying slightly. The damage was more extensive then he first thought, but he had work to do. Jason took a deep breath through the throbbing in his shoulder before moving forward. “I need to find him.”

Dick moved to block Jason’s path. “You need to rest. We’re doing everything we can and you aren’t going to help Tim at all if you just hurt yourself with trying to find him.” 

Jason pushed past Dick. “I can’t just sit around and do nothing. Tim needs to be found. I need him to be found.” 

Dick looked as if to protest again, but Jason sent a look his way that had the older man reconsidering his suggestion. “Just take care of yourself, okay? Don’t run yourself into the ground. We already have one bird that does that well enough.”

“And if I have anything to do with it, our bird’ll be back ASAP.” Dick just shook his head as Jason moved over to the computer. He had a lot of work and catch up to do. It wasn’t the first time that Tim had gotten himself captured by criminals, but it was the first time that it happened to him as _Tim_. And that was an unsettling thought in and of itself. 

Jason eased himself into one of the cave’s chairs while trying not to jostle his shoulder too badly. It was something that would definitely take time to heal and shouldn’t be strained, but working at a computer and trying to put this puzzle was the least he could do for the younger man. 

* * *

Things weren’t going as well for Jason as he would’ve hoped. He’d spent half the day watching the surveillance footage from Tim’s campus and trying to track the van through security cameras. Because Gotham was, well, _Gotham_ , there were too many blind spots and Jason quickly lost the van during its trek through the city. There was also no read from the GPS in Tim's cell. Well, there was, from the bottom of the river, but Jason couldn't hack into it meaning that it'd probably been snapped in half. 

“Come on, Tim. Where are you? Where did they take you?” Jason closed his eyes and sat back in his chair. The exhaustion from sitting in front of the computer and his wound were starting to take a toll. 

“Master Jason, dinner is ready if you would care to have some.” Alfred’s voice cut through the silence.

Jason opened his mouth to protest and say that he needed to get back to work, but a particular sharp stab of pain had him conceding to a break since he really needed one. “Sure, Alfred. I’ll be right up.”

“Very good, sir.” Jason could hear the approval in the butler’s voice as he ascended the stairs back up into the manor. 

Jason heaved a sigh and pulled himself out of the chair. He slowly trudged up the stairs, steadily ignoring the throbbing from his shoulder. Hopefully after all of this was over and Tim was back, Jason could convince the younger man to give him a massage. Although, Tim was probably going to be the one who really needed a massage and to de-stress. 

Jason made his way into the kitchen and found it gloriously empty. He didn’t have the mental capabilities of dealing with the rest of the family when he was as high-strung as he was. Jason sat down heavily in one of the wooden chairs and Alfred placed a plate of lasagna in front of him. Jason began eating eagerly, trying not to think about the research he was in the middle of going through to find his missing boyfriend. 

The food was welcome and Jason hadn’t realized just how hungry he was after not eating for over a day and spending the rest of his time looking for some sort of clue. He was already feeling rejuvenated, but he’d still need some coffee to keep him going the next several hours. 

“Shall I make you some coffee, sir?” Alfred asked, seemingly reading his mind as Jason pushed his now empty plate away.

“Please, Alfred. And another plate of lasagna to take with me as well, if you don’t mind.” Jason asked, sheepishly.

“Of course, sir.” Alfred began brewing a fresh pot of coffee and filled Jason’s empty plate with another serving of lasagna. 

With mug and plate in hand, Jason returned to his place in the cave. The computers offered no knew clue as to where Tim was taken. Jason sighed and started on his food. It was going to be a long night. 

Dick, Damian, and Bruce came and went through the cave, but Jason didn’t move a muscle. He offered some support as the three other men went out on patrol, but his main focus was on tracking down Tim’s whereabouts. If he wasn’t injured, Jason was sure that he’d be able to go and beat the information out of someone, but that obviously wouldn’t be the wisest course of action. Then again, when had Jason ever been wise? 

“Don’t do it.” Dick’s voice cut through the comm. 

“What?” Jason asked startled. 

“You’re thinking about going to harass some people for the location of you know who. Don’t do it.”

Jason scowled. “I wasn’t _actually_ going to do it.” 

“Liar.” 

Jason sighed in exasperation. “Fine, I won’t go.”

“We know you want to find him. We want to find him too. He’ll be okay. He’s strong and can handle it.”

“It’s not that I don’t think he can’t handle it or he’s not strong, but there’s only so much he can do as himself. This isn’t like all of those other times when he was captured as Red Robin and was expected to fight back and actually _win_. I want him to fight back, desperately want him too, but he's got a secret identity to protect.”

Dick was silent, unable to argue with what Jason said. 

Jason didn’t even remember falling asleep. He didn’t remember dreaming either. He just woke up groggily in front of the computer where he’d apparently passed out. His injured shoulder stiff from the awkward sleeping position. Jason looked around trying to get his bearings. His plate and mug were gone which meant Alfred probably came down and cleaned up after him.

Jason stretched and groaned, feeling all of his tense muscles pop and a tug in his shoulder from the bullet wound. He looked back up at the monitors. He had nothing new and wasn’t sure if there were many other avenues to consider when movement caught his eye. It was one of the manor’s security cameras showing the front gate. 

A suspiciously familiar black van was pulling up and Jason’s breath hitched. That was the van that had taken Tim. But, _why_ was it at the manor? At that point Jason didn’t care. It was a connection to Tim and that was all that mattered. He flew out of his chair and up the stairs out of the cave. Jason rushed through the living room passed a bewildered Alfred and confused Bruce. 

Jason threw the front door open and sprinted down towards the front gate, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. Two men in ski masks threw a blanketed bundle out of the van and pulled away as they watched him approach. Jason had every intention of pursuing the van until he saw what was in the bundle and he stopped breathing.

There, lying in front of the manor gate, covered only in a blanket, was Tim. Jason felt like sobbing. Tim looked so small and vulnerable lying there on the pavement. Tim wasn't supposed to be small and vulnerable. He was strong and brilliant. Jason was not going to forgive them for doing this to his Baby Bird and he'd relentlessly pursue them after his shoulder healed. Until then, Jason could only care for his boyfriend. He bent down and picked up the bundle, holding Tim close to his chest.

Tim shifted in his arms. “Jason…” He asked groggily.

“Shh Baby Bird. I’ve got you.” Jason said, clutching him tighter.

Tim curled in on himself even further. “Jason.” He said softly, almost disbelievingly, and then quietly began to sob, shivers wracking his body. 

Jason kissed Tim’s forehead and walked back up to the manor, intent on never letting him go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Tim? Will Jason ever find out? Will Tim be okay? Who exactly is this new group of masked men? Is Tim really wearing nothing underneath that blanket? Will you ever know the answers to these questions?
> 
> (Lol, yes to that last one, because I do intend to keep writing this fic)
> 
> Hoped you liked this chapter!
> 
> ~MOLIM


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim wakes up in strange environment, finally coming face-to-face with the people who kidnapped him. He assumes they want money or some influence over Bruce, but what he experiences is far more than he ever could've imagined. And just where was Jason?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Maniacal laughter* Oh my god, y'all are going to hate me.
> 
> This chapter contains rape/non-con. If you still want to know what happens and would prefer a summary just leave me a comment or shoot me an ask on Tumblr and I'll be more than happy to summarize what goes down in this chapter. 
> 
> This chapter starts with Tim waking up after he's been kidnapped and after this we'll progress through the days he was missing until we get back to the manor where things will pick up again when Jason retrieves Tim in front of the manor.
> 
> I swear I love Tim, I really do.
> 
> You've been warned.
> 
> ~MOLIM

Tim groaned. His bed felt particularly uncomfortable this morning which was strange. Actually, on second thought, it was a dorm bed and standards were pretty low with the furniture found at college. Tim furrowed his brow. He didn’t remember going to bed last night. He remembered walking back to his dorm after class and then…

Tim’s eyes flew open and he rolled into a crouch, quickly assessing the situation. He was in an unfamiliar office, an unfamiliar ugly office, that’s for sure. Tim was still fully clothed in his civvies, but his backpack and phone were gone. He felt something around his neck and reached up, finding a collar encircling his throat.

The walls were painted a disgusting brownish color that looked like it came straight from a sewer. Probably absorbs any bloodstains that might get on the walls, honestly. Thankfully the floors were wood, because Tim didn’t think he’d be able to handle a fully carpet floor if the rug was anything to go by. The color of said rug resembled something akin to vomit. Tim wanted to vomit just from looking at it.

There were two very large picture windows on the wall he was facing, not doing much to reveal where he was, but it looked like he was in a warehouse by the docks. Settled in between the windows was a large oak desk with a worn, black leather chair, like what Bruce had at the manor, far too large and heavy and meant to be a show of power and status. Tim just thought it made whoever sat at the desk look like a dick. It was a dick-desk. 

The only other furnishings consisted of mismatched chairs. Tim shot a glance over his shoulder and saw a pair of men standing in front of a pair of dark, elegant oak doors with their arms crossed. Alfred would appreciate those doors, but the rest of the interior didn’t do the doors justice. That didn’t matter. What mattered was the guy leaning back against the dick-desk with his arms crossed over his chest.

He smirked. “Looks like you’re finally awake. I was expecting a little more resilience from you, _Red Robin_.”

Tim refused to let his eyes widen. Instead he searched the other man’s face, looking for answers. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The guy’s smirk widened. “Oh, but I think you do.” He waved a hand towards Tim. “Timothy Drake-Wayne, college student at Gotham U, genius employee of Wayne Enterprises, and vigilante going by the name of Red Robin at night.”

Tim stood from his position on the floor, carefully keeping his body angled away from whoever this guy was. “Who are you? Where am I and why did you take me?” Tim asked, trying to derail the conversation from wherever it was headed.

“Not so fast Robin. I run things around here and you’d be wise to understand that.”

“Just answer my questions.” Tim pressed.

The other man hummed. “I don’t think so. At least, not until you admit that you’re one of Gotham’s vigilantes.”

Tim glared at him. “I told you, I’m not whoever you think I am. Now let me go.”

He sighed. “No can do, but you’re exactly who I think you are. I _know_ who you are. See, you’ve got something I want.”

Tim narrowed his eyes, fists clenching. “That so? I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it’s money.”

The other man laughed, actually laughed. Then looked down at Tim with a slightly crazed smile on his face. “That too. But what I’m more concerned with at the moment is your brain. See, that big brain of yours is pretty attractive. I want it and you’re going to give it to me.”

“And you think that, because…”

“Because,” he said, stepping towards Tim. “I always get what I want.”

Tim stepped away from whoever this crazy-ass dude was, intending to keep as much distance between the two of them as possible. “Sorry, I don’t think so. I’d actually prefer to keep my brain where it belongs, inside my skull. Now if you’d be so kind as to let me leave here, you can get back to whatever it is you’re doing and I can get back to school.” 

“No, I don’t think so.” He sneered. “I have no intentions of removing your brain, but you _are_ going to use that brain to work for me and my organization. You belong here now. You belong to me.”

“I hardly think kidnapping me and holding me hostage in some warehouse makes me belong to you. I belong to no one.” Well, maybe Jason, but Jason belonged to him just as much as he belonged to Jason. 

“That collar around your neck begs to differ. It states very clearly that you belong to me and no one else is allowed to touch you unless I grant permission. And there’s no way that I’m going to let anyone else touch you.” He reached out and gripped Tim’s chin, forcing the other man closer. 

Tim’s hand flew up and tore the offending limb away. He put distance between the two of them, but turned to face the two bodyguards when he heard them move. They looked royally pissed and Tim couldn’t help but wonder if he’d just made a huge mistake. Here he was, making assumptions, thinking he could just easily walk out of this situation when he knew nothing about how this group operated or what they were capable of doing to him.

“Tooth, Nail, leave us. I need to have a _private_ word with Mr. Drake.”  The two men still looked furious, but nodded and exited through the oak doors. He turned his attention back to Tim. “Now that it’s just the two of us, I think we have a few things to work out. I don’t appreciate that type of behavior from you Tim. You’ll need to mind your manners and give me respect if you wish to advance in this organization and achieve the things that are expected of you.”

Tim snorted. “You’re delusional. I _told_ you, I’m not working for your organization.” 

Tim finally got the other man to react. It may have been a scowl, but that was at least something that wasn’t an air of high and mighty entitlement. “And I’m telling you that you don’t have much of a choice.”

Tim was so done with this conversation. This is what he hated most about criminals. They were just so damn talkative, trying to convince people to do what they wanted. If this guy was so adamant about him knowing that Tim was Red Robin, then Tim was done giving a fuck about this. He whipped out a leg in a roundhouse aimed at the other guy’s ribs, but before his hit could connect, Tim’s body seized up as white hot pain shot through him. Tim collapsed, writhing against the vomit-colored carpet hoping that he wasn’t about to add to the color. Just as quickly as the pain had begun it stopped, leaving Tim in a panting mess. He’d unconsciously curled in on himself and looked up at the man now standing above him.

“Looks like I’ll have to show you just how powerless you really are. You have to earn your place in this organization and I don’t easily forgive such transgressions against my authority.” 

There wasn’t much Tim could do with the tremors that were still running through his body. He felt like he’d just come in from a particularly cold night out on patrol and the only way to soothe his body was by taking a warm shower and curling up in a blanket with a mug of velvety smooth, hot chocolate. Tim’s hoodie and shirt were the first things to go and it’s only when hands had moved to his belt that his brain was able to catch up with just what was happening. Fear tightened his throat. Tim tried to reach his hands out to stop the assault, but his efforts were in vain as he was quickly stripped of both his jeans and boxers.

Tim was shoved over the large oak desk, still trembling from the effects of the shock and now the added adrenaline that was coursing through his veins. “Listen, and listen well. The name’s Presley and you better learn it quick because that’s what you need to get used to screaming.”

Tim shoved back against the hands pinning him down, desperately trying to escape the hold. His tremors weren’t helping matters. “No! Get your hands o-“ Tim cut himself off with a scream as Presley wasted no time in thrusting into him. When had he unfastened his own pants? Tears sprung to Tim’s eyes and began streaming down his face as the assault began. Tim had been put through a lot of pain over the course of his life, mostly due to an occupational hazard. However, that pain was nothing compared to what he was currently experiencing. 

Tim was being mercilessly plowed into. It took everything in him to choke out a couple of words. “Stop… _please_.” 

“I told you Tim.” Presley continued his relentless assault. “You’re mine now.” He bent over and whispered in Tim’s ear. “And if you’re good, I promise to treat you well. All you have to do is obey me Tim.” 

Tim grit his teeth and fisted his hands so tightly his fingernails drew blood. He wasn’t about to let pain blind him to the truth of what he was experiencing and who was doing this to him. The promise might sound sweet now. Empty words that promised relief if he only gave into the demands, but there was nothing there that would guarantee Tim’s safety and comfort. If he refused his well-being was at risk, if he accepted, his well-being was at risk. “Never.” He spat out.

“We’ll see.” Tim could hear the smirk in Presley’s voice. “But I’ll still have you screaming, whether you want to or not.” Presley followed his statement with a redoubling of effort. 

Tim bit his lip, unwilling to give Presley what he wanted. He refused to scream, whether it be from pleasure or pain and he was most certainly not experiencing pleasure. He imagined he was somewhere else. Somewhere heavenly and peaceful. Tim was sure that Jason would be in that other place, holding him close and whispering comforts and loving things in his ears. Jason would tell him how much he loved him between sweet, almost innocent kisses. They could lay together on the couch and watch Netflix, letting the day pass them by as they enjoyed each other’s company.

As much as Jason refused to admit his love of cuddling, they would do it regardless. Tim wouldn’t allow himself to be separated from Jason, seeking comfort from the feeling of Jason’s firm and muscular body beneath his, sighing as Jason ran his fingers soothingly through Tim’s hair, and enveloped in the faint smell of cigarette smoke that always clung to him. Jason would cook them dinner, with some mild grumbling that they should just order takeout, but secretly enjoyed completing the task as he always did. Only for Tim, though. The food would be delicious of course. Tim could almost smell the mouthwatering aromas that would undoubtedly swirl through the air of his kitchen and seep into every corner of his apartment. After eating dinner, they’d share each other’s company once again, leaving the dishes for later, and more concerned with exchanging kisses that would gradually grow heated and even more loving, if that was possible. The two of them would take things to the bedroom where-

Presley came suddenly, bringing Tim back to the present. He felt filled in a disgusting and vile way. Tim shuddered after the other man abruptly pulled out, his come dripped down between Tim’s legs in a way Tim found reminiscent of a slug or snail crawling over his skin. Tim sunk to his knees and buried his face in the oak desk in front of him. He wished he could disappear, or at least jump into the shower and scrub himself clean under scalding water with the help of a large amount of soap. He wished he could go back to this afternoon and do things differently. He should’ve waited for Jason. Tim could’ve waited out the goons who’d come for him. _Should’ve_. 

Tim was so lost and withdrawn into his own mind he barely noticed when the two guards were called back in by Presley. They dragged him to his feet and forced him towards the door, still naked and shaking violently from both attacks. He was forced down the hallway and manhandled into a separate room that was mostly bare, the only furnishings being a poor excuse for a bed and a toilet. Tim was grateful for the toilet. At least there weren’t bars and he, seemingly, had some form of privacy. Tim was shoved inside and lost his footing. He sprawled out on the floor, not caring that he was still naked. The bare concrete of the floor helped to ground him. He wasn’t completely lost yet. He focused on his breathing and the feeling of skin against concrete. He barely heard the door lock.

Tim curled in on himself and allowed the tears to come once more. He desperately needed the emotional release after what was probably the worst day of his entire life. He felt as though he’d been ripped away from Jason and subject to unspeakable horrors. Tim’s last thoughts before passing out dwelled on the horror that he was feeling for being abused and violated in the most vulnerable state he could be in. He could only hope that Jason would come soon and whisk him away to the heavenly paradise that only the two of them would be allowed to share. No one else would have the ability to intrude on them where Tim would be safe and protected. He just hoped that Jason would be able to forgive him for being subjected to this pain. It was true that Jason hated child molesters and rapists, but what exactly did he think of the victims? What would he think of Tim?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I hate Presley. He's such a fucking douche-canoe. I wanted to come up with most stuck-up name I could for him. I was considering Chad, but I really wanted to go for the whole rich asshole vibe.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I was really happy with the response from the first two chapters.
> 
> See you next time,
> 
> ~MOLIM


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time Tim spent with Presley is finally revealed before returning to Jason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so psyched to finally be updating this fic! I'm super proud/excited over this chapter and I hope that all of you are looking forward to it and enjoy it as well. I'm on vacation right now, currently in Colorado and before that I was in Arizona. We got to go to the Grand Canyon and if you haven't been, I highly recommend going. It's beautiful and wonderful for hiking. 
> 
> But, this chapter details everything over the course of the days that Tim experienced while being held by Presley. Lots of pain emotionally and physically and I feel bad for putting Tim through this, but what can I say I'm a horrible author. 
> 
> Rape/non-con elements ahead.
> 
> Please let me know what you think, I appreciate the comments when they may come, but I love the response I've gotten from this fic and if you're interested in a genderfluid, pastel Tim crime boss, I've got another fic started called We're Immortals. But, I've gone on long enough, dear reader, enjoy!
> 
> ~MOLIM

Tim jolted awake, the sound of a blaring alarm waking him from a dreamless sleep. It sounded like something out of a nuclear war film, forcing Tim on high alert. A sound like that was never a good sign. He still found himself on the floor where he’d fallen asleep the night before, or was it only a few hours ago? It was hard to tell and Tim honestly had to way to keep track of time, no clock, no windows, no nothing. Not caring that he was still naked, Tim jumped up and ran over to the door of his cell. There didn’t seem to be any movement from the other side, suggesting that if anyone else had been in the hallway, then they’d already cleared out. Tim tentatively reached towards the handle, trying to suppress the sense of hope that sprung up within him.

  
His breath hitched and his heart rate picked up when the handle turned and the door swung open. Tim peered out into the hallway and found it utterly devoid of people just as he’d presumed, allowing himself to mentally cheer his silent victory. He thought about sneaking carefully down the hallway and towards the exit, but then thought better of it. With the alarms going people were already on the move and he’d just risk getting caught by moving slowly. Tim took a deep breath and then he _moved_.

  
Jason used to tell him that he was always impressed by Tim’s speed whenever they played their games on the rooftops of Gotham, so it wasn’t long before he reached the end of the bland hallway and began his descent down the stairs. Tim knew he was being reckless, but he couldn’t manage to quell the amount of hope that was spreading like smoke throughout his body, writhing and curling, and expanding to fill him up inside. He felt like he could do anything, despite his heart beating in his throat. What were a few skipped stairs here and there? Okay, it might have been more than a few, but Tim wasn’t about to waste this opportunity to get out of this warehouse and get back to Jason. Besides, maybe he’d get picked up right away for public indecency by the police. He could see the headline now: _Wayne Heir’s Streak Has Ended-Picked Up by Police for Public Indecency._ Tim couldn’t help but smirk at that. The press would certainly have a field day and Tim would be off cackling in the distance, much to Bruce’s chagrin.

  
Tim’s face broke out into a grin when he saw the last stairwell down to the final floor, the factory floor. The stairwell may have been painted the same awful white used in schools that students hated, and had cracks and paint flaking, but this one was special. This was it. This led to freedom. All Tim had to do was make it through the first level of the warehouse and he’d be free. He slowed and silently slithered down the remaining steps absolutely noiselessly. Who knew how much easier it was to be quiet without a cape and shoes? Maybe Tim should patrol naked more often and, boy-oh-boy, he was probably having too much fun with this. First the newspaper and now patrol, Jason probably wouldn’t even let him leave the house if he tried it. Tim’s face fell. That is, if Jason still even wanted to be with him after what happened.

  
Tim ignored the sour turn his thoughts had taken, he had more important things to take care of. Namely getting through this maze of a warehouse. Seriously, when these criminals chose hideout spots, the goal was to find somewhere abandoned, not a place like _this_. The floor was covered with machinery, making it impossible to gauge how many people, if there were any, were here. Large and small structures littered the area, only marked off by the paths that weaved between the hulking metal structures for workers to pass through. If Tim had his grapple gun he’d be able to get on top of the equipment and make his way across the floor, but he didn’t see how it would be possible to climb up the smooth metal side of whatever this stuff was used for. He didn’t even want to start thinking about the jumps he would have to try and make either.

  
Tim took a steadying breath and was off again. He made it past several intersecting paths before the shouts started. Tim’s adrenaline got going and against his better judgement, he grinned. He always loved a good chase. Someone jumped in front of him and Tim didn’t even so much as blink before sending a palm into the guy’s nose, earning both a satisfying crunch and a spray of blood shooting out between his fingers. He used the other man’s shoulders as leverage to spring over him, allowing Tim to hit the pavement once again and take off towards what he knew to be the front of the warehouse and his path to freedom. The voices continued to grow louder, the group getting bigger as more people joined in, but Tim suspected that he could outrun them. That is, until someone slammed into his side, sending him rolling down one of the other pathways.

  
Tim looked up, dazed. He narrowed his eyes at the figure looming over him and popped into a crouch, ready to strike out at any moment. The guy was unarmed, or at least looked that way, but Tim didn’t trust looks. Tim stood, waiting for the other man to make a move, knowing he would be the one to go first, and was glad when it didn’t take long. As the other guy launched himself forward, Tim ducked under his outstretched arm before sending a painful elbow to his side, earning him a painful grunt. Tim followed that with a swift uppercut, using all of his momentum from the squat he’d dropped into, and sent the other guy’s head snapping back. Finally, Tim knocked his opponent’s feet out from under him with a sweep of his legs sending him sprawling and in various amounts of pain to the floor.

  
Tim turned and ran further down the path he’d been barreled down, hoping to find somewhere less occupied, at least for the moment, to regroup and form a much needed plan of action. He just made it to the next intersection when a hand snagged his arm. Maintaining his balance, Tim pulled his arm, successfully jerking the other man forward allowing Tim to use the other man’s momentum and knee this one in the stomach, leaving him gasping for air and releasing his hold on Tim in favor of clutching his stomach. Tim continued on his path, the sounds of dry heaves music to his ears, towards the front of the warehouse. He knew he was getting close now, he could _feel_ it. Until, once again, someone slammed into him, except this time, they rolled with him, which sent up a ton of red flags. The two of them came to a stop a few feet away with Tim being pinned on his stomach underneath a much larger man. Tim squirmed underneath the new guy trying to find some point of contact to hit or use to get out from under him, but whoever was on top of him knew how to use his bulk to his advantage.

  
Tim’s wrists were wrenched behind his back, nearly pulling his chest entirely off the floor causing Tim to grunt. Tim was hauled to his feet and pulled backwards back the way they had come. He was stuck in a position that didn’t allow him to get his feet firmly underneath him and he couldn’t stop moving or risk his arms getting pulled into a much more painful position that could potentially cause injury. Smart move on the guy who caught him, refusing to give him the chance to break free. Something dawned on Tim. This whole thing might have been planned. The other two guys probably weren’t even trying to best him and were just keeping him distracted and making him think he could get out of the warehouse. It was incredibly convenient that the alarm had gone off. The spark of hope that had enveloped Tim only moments ago crashed in on itself and became a black hole in the middle of Tim’s chest, sucking away any chance at freeing himself that Tim had had.

  
Tim was forced to retrace his entire flight towards freedom, but instead of going back to his cell the two of them stop in front of the oak doors of Presley’s office. Yup, definitely planned. Tim’s chest tightened, fear of what was going to happen to him mixing with the painful memories of his last experience in that office. Desperate, Tim renewed his struggle, pulling hard against the man who had been restraining him, searching for some sort of pressure point or weakness. He knew he was risking pulling a joint out of place, but he was more concerned with not making a return trip to that office any time soon, or, ever. Tim’s chest tightened even more when it seemed that the guy holding him didn’t even have to work any harder to keep him in place.

  
Tim’s heartbeat accelerated with the groan of the doors, signaling that they were being opened. Blood rushed through his veins, it was the only sound Tim was able to focus on. He was thrown into the office and didn’t even have the strength to land gracefully as he would as Red Robin. Tim gasped against the impact, but was back on his feet quickly, knowing that he had to get away now and not caring what sort of pain he had to experience for freedom. He sprinted towards the door, just as it closed, cutting off the remaining sliver of light and crushing Tim’s emotional strength. He pulled on the handle desperately, pounding on the door when it wouldn’t budge, knowing that if he could just escape this room he’d be okay, he’d find some way to be okay.

  
“My, my, my…” Presley spoke up from behind him. Tim froze, not daring to turn around, instead favoring curling in on himself. “Someone’s been naughty, haven’t they?” Tim felt Presley move up behind him, using his arms to cage Tim in who saw the offending limbs out of his peripheral vision. Tim didn’t dare to move, or even breath. “And here I thought that you wouldn’t try to get away after our last discussion. No matter, a little punishment should suffice.”

  
The implications behind the statement were enough to get Tim moving. He hit Presley with an elbow to the ribs and ducked under one of the arms caging him in. Presley hunched in on himself from the impact while Tim made a beeline for one of the office windows. He was not about to sit around and wait for someone to rescue him. Tim was halfway across the room, leaping over one of the office chairs, when his collar went off. Tim hit the floor writhing in pain, fingers scrabbling against the metal encircling his neck, trying to find some way to make it stop. He just wanted the pain to stop.

  
Just as quickly as the assault had begun, it ended. Tim lay there, panting, and drained of any energy he hoped to have, although to be honest, it had been adrenaline that was driving Tim’s escape. The sound of footsteps was enough to break Tim from his moment slumped against the floor. He felt his body struggle to bounce back and accept the energy and adrenaline pulsing once again through his body.

  
“I don’t like having to do this, Tim.” Presley said, voice laced with anger. _Lies_ , Tim reminded himself. “I’ll just have to try harder to make you understand.” Presley was standing over Tim now, the anger on his face obvious, causing Tim to swallow. He tried to sit up and back away, but his body was still lagging. Presley was obviously pleased that Tim wasn’t able to put up much of a fight now that he’d been shocked. He grabbed Tim’s arm and hauled him to his feet, pushing him over towards the desk.

  
“No, stop…” Tim’s protests even sounded feeble and weak to his own ears. His body felt as though it were trying to move through water and suspected this was what it felt like to be drunk.

  
“I don’t know why you make me have to do this, Tim. If you’d just cooperate, it wouldn’t have to be like this.” Presley said, bending Tim over the desk.

  
_Lies_. Tim’s legs began to shake, knowing what was going to come. The sound of a zipper brought everything back into focus. “No, please! You don’t have to do this!” Tim pleaded, squirming underneath Presley’s grip.

  
“Oh, but I do. You’ve forced my hand Tim, and now you’re going to get what you deserve.” Presley spread Tim’s legs. “It doesn’t have to be this way.” Was the only warning Tim got before Presley thrust into him, seemingly not bothered by the fact that he was going in dry. Tim bit his lip, swallowing a pained whimper, and forced the tears prickling his eyes from falling. He wasn’t about to be broken by this man, there was no way he was going to let himself be broken.

  
Presley began moving at an agonizing pace, not even caring about the amount of pain he surely knew he was putting Tim through. “You deserve this.” He hissed in Tim’s ear, voice smug.

  
“N-no!” Tim grit out. He was trying to separate himself from the pain. It was harder this time, now that he knew what to expect.

  
“You do.” Presley said with a grunt. “You’re worthless. All the other superheroes know it too. Why do you think Red Hood tried to kill you, hmm?” Tim’s blood ran cold at the words he was hearing. There was no way that Presley could know about that. Tim fought down the horrible memories as Presley continued to talk. He couldn’t let himself be pulled back into that mindset, not after everything him and Jason had been through and how they felt about each other now. “Everything that you can do, that you’ve done, hasn’t made a difference. Everyone else could easily take care of the tasks you’ve taken over.”

  
Tim laughed mirthlessly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tim kept his voice steady despite the tears sliding down his cheeks. “The only work that I do is for Wayne Enterprises and it only takes someone with the same technological background as me to take care of those things.” Tim felt a sense of dread taking over his whole body. He knew that Presley was only saying these things to get to him. To break him, but Tim couldn’t help but wonder if, perhaps, they were true? Tim pulled away from those thoughts. There was no way this is what everyone else thought of him.

  
Presley growled punctuating his next statement with sharp thrusts. “I thought we were past the whole denial bit. Might as well just come out and admit to being Red Robin, seeing as how no one’s looking for you.”

  
“You’re wrong!” Tim clenched his hands into fists on top of the desk. He could feel himself shaking, whether from pain or anger he wasn’t sure.

  
“I’m wrong?” Presley grunted, obviously close to being done. “Just wait and see. How many days have to pass before you realize no one’s going to show up? 5? 10? I’m all you have left.” With one, final, and brutal thrust, Presley was coming for the second time in Tim’s body. Tim shuddered against the feeling of wrongness he was experiencing, nearly gagging when he felt come slide out of him. Tim dropped to his knees as he heard Presley put himself away.

  
Tim heard the other man walk away. The oak doors creaked open and he left, which Tim was incredibly grateful for. His sense of relief didn’t last long when a hand wrapped around his bicep, pulling him to his feet. Tim stared with wide eyes up at the guard who’d brought him back earlier and was ushering him out of the office and back to his room. The other man wasn’t even looking at him, which Tim found he was grateful for. He didn’t know what he would find looking back at him in those eyes. Tim was shoved back inside the room before the door slammed shut and was, once again, locked.

  
Tim sunk to the floor, not caring that he had access to some type of bed. The tears came slowly at first, but quickly develop into uncontrollable sobs. He felt hollow inside and couldn’t help when he started to question the validity behind Presley’s statements.

_“You deserve this.”_

He can’t really. Can he? No one deserves to be treated in such a way. Jason would agree with him. Jason would rip out his throat if he knew what Presley was doing to Tim. Would? Will?

_“No one’s looking for you.”_

No, Jason is looking for him. Jason had to come and find Tim. Tim saw the look on Jason’s face when he was being taken, well maybe he didn’t, but Jason was desperate when they were talking on the phone. If he hadn’t gotten shot…

_“You’re worthless.”_

“Oh God…” Tim choked out between sobs. “What’s going to happen to me?” He asked the empty room around him. Tim curled in on himself, trying to find some sort of comfort. It was a long time before his sobs began to calm, devolving into wet hiccups. The physical exhaustion that the adrenaline had been staving off made itself known all at once. Tim sagged even further into the floor, his mind finally quieting as he was pulled into the realm of unconsciousness.

* * *

 

  
A tidal wave of cold water washed over Tim, forcing him awake. His eyes snapped open and he looked over his shoulder, registering the man holding the, now empty, bucket and laughing at him. Tim glared, earning him a smug smirk from the other man who turned easily and walked out of the room, leaving Tim shut in once again.

  
Tim shivered, finally registering the cold quickly seeping into his bones. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been asleep, lacking a sense of time. He looked around the room searching for some form of reprieve only for his eyes to land on something that looked suspiciously like a key ring near the door. There was no way that guard could’ve been dumb enough to lose his keys, was there? Tim scrambled over to them anyway, needing to either confirm he was wrong, or, well, he wasn’t quite sure. Tim picked up what were indeed keys.

  
Tim’s heartbeat and breathing picked up. This time, he just might have a chance of making it out. After all, none of the other guards would be trying to leave the building due to an alarm. It was just Tim having to evade his captors, something he could easily do, but what if it was another setup? Tim clutched the keys to his chest, hands shaking before shuffling towards the door. This could really be his chance to escape and go home. Go back to Jason. Tim gripped the handle tightly and slowly turned it and nearly started sobbing when it continued to turn. He willed himself not to get his hopes up, the spark felt like a lead weight in his chest.

  
Tim stuck his head out around the door to survey the hallway. It was as empty as could be and quiet, no sign of movement from above or below in the stairwells. Without a second thought, Tim took off down the hallway. There was no way he was going to get caught, he’d make sure of it. Even while running, Tim’s footsteps were completely silent, Bat training at its finest. He grinned, loving the feeling of movement even after being locked up for only a short while.

  
Tim was only a handful of strides from the top of the stairs when a hand whipped out, latching onto his bicep. It pulled him backwards and slammed him against the wall, effectively removing all of the air from Tim’s lungs. Despite being winded, Tim yanked and scratched at the hold the guard had on him. It was the same guard from earlier too, had the same smug smirk on his face. Tim really wanted to punch that smirk off. Or claw it off. Whichever caused the most pain, honestly.

  
The guard lifted, _lifted!_ , Tim off of his feet and carried him back down the hallway. Tim tried prying the other guy’s fingers off, but his attempts seemed to make no difference and didn’t seem to affect him at all. Tim tried kicking out at the man, but before he could even make contact, he was violently shaken. Tim didn’t even realize where he was being taken until he was faced with the pair of oak doors he was coming to dread. The realization of what was going to happen sent Tim into a frenzy, lashing out with fists and legs, trying to break free in some way. He was angry and it felt _amazing_. He didn’t feel hollow anymore, just angry.

  
Finally, finally, Tim landed a significant kick to the guy’s gut only to be left with a disappointing grunt. The doors were pushed open once again and Tim was thrown inside. Tim rolled with the throw and looked further in the room, eyes narrowing. Presley was leaning up against his desk with his arms crossed over his chest. Instead of bothering with the doors, which Tim knew would be locked, he made a beeline for the windows, hoping to outrun the other man. At this point, he’d rather jump and come out of this with serious injuries than be subjected to this torture for another second.

  
Tim was surprised that Presley didn’t even make as sound as he ran towards his possible escape. Was surprised, that is, until the collar went off again. He should really stop forgetting about that little detail. If Tim thought his other experiences being shocked were bad, they were nothing compared to this. The water from his bath earlier intensified every feeling. It made his skin crawl. Tim thought his body was trying to turn itself inside out, rejecting everything that kept him alive in favor of the voltage pulsing along with his heart. Tim tried to scream, but his mouth remained stubbornly shut, almost as if it was screwed shut from some medieval experiment.

  
Presley stopped the shocks once he was standing over where Tim was huddled on the floor, tremors still running through the young man’s body. The effects were so bad this time that Tim couldn’t even open his mouth. Tim suspected his fine motor skills were nonexistent at this point. He tried glaring at Presley where he stood over him, face carefully blank. He tutted before squatting down.

  
“I was really hoping that yesterday would’ve gotten it through that thick skull of yours. You’re not going anywhere Tim, even if you were more hesitant to leave this time, I can’t let this go without punishment.” Presley tugged Tim onto all fours, having to hold him up due to the intensity of the tremors rippling through Tim’s body. Tim desperately wanted to lash out and react when he heard Presley opening his pants yet again. “I should’ve thought of doing that a long time ago. Mixing water and the electric collar, now I don’t have to listen to the lies that spew out of that pretty mouth of yours.”

  
Tim opened his mouth, the effects from the shock treatment starting to fade, in an attempt to speak. All he managed was a choked gurgle as Presley pushed into him once again. Tim ground his forehead into the floor, not even bothering to do anything. He hoped the less he tried to fight back the sooner this would be over.

  
“Are you finally starting to understand, Tim? You can’t win against me. You’re worthless and have no one to help you. Accept it. This is your future, you should be thanking me for what I’m doing for you.”

  
“N-n-n-n-n-“ Tim stuttered. He grit his teeth, willing the words to form and for him to speak. He took a shuddering breath, trying to calm himself despite the onslaught to his body. “N-n-n-NO!”

  
Presley’s hips stuttered, obviously caught off guard by Tim’s outburst. He paused in his movements, gripping Tim’s hips sharply. “What did you say?”

  
Tim took the reprieve to catch his breath, feeling grateful that he somehow managed to stop Presley’s actions. “I said,” Tim mentally cheered that he managed to avoid the stutter. “No.” He shot a glare over his shoulder to punctuate the statement and felt satisfied with the shocked expression on Presley’s face, which quickly wavered when that shocked expression turned into one of complete fury.

  
Presley threw a hand out and gripped Tim’s neck, effectively reducing the air flow to his lungs. “Is there some reason why you think you’re safe from me Tim? I already told you how worthless and easily _replaceable_ you are. There’s nothing protecting you, especially when no one is coming to get you.” Presley tightened his grip causing Tim’s eyes to widen, he tried to grab Presley’s hand, but the other man yanked him up against his body.

  
The new position caused Presley to shift inside of Tim, stretching him in an uncomfortable fashion. If he tried to move away from Presley’s cock he’d only press himself further into the chokehold. Presley picked up his rhythm again, this time managing to slide in enough to brush Tim’s prostate. He tried suppressing the shivers that ran through him knowing this wasn’t something that should give him pleasure.

  
Presley chuckled darkly in his ear, understanding just what reactions Tim was experiencing. The grunts and heavy breathing seemingly causing more damage to Tim’s emotional state than the insults that had been flung his way the previous night. Soon enough, Presley was coming and riding out his orgasm without letting Tim move even an inch. He released Tim’s neck before pulling out, forcing Tim to rest his weight on his hands. He wasn’t even given a moment to collect himself before Presley was pulling on his hair and forcing him to stand. He jerked him towards the door and all but threw him into the hallway, barking at the guard to take him back to his room.

  
Once again, Tim was manhandled down the hallway and locked away. Tim lay on the floor, desperately wanting to sob and let everything out. The humiliation at being raped multiple times already, the words flung his way by Presley, and now, the fact that he was half-hard from being raped. It was cruel, really. Tim understood that his body was trying to compensate and make him feel good in such an awful situation, but it only worked to crush him further. He felt hollow to the point that there could be nothing to fix him.

_“Replaceable.”_

  
Tim was broken. He accepted this fact while staring blankly at the wall, both seeing and not seeing the slab of concrete that was keeping him away from the people he cared about and wanted nothing more than to see. Perhaps he would be able to see them one last time before death.

_“Replaceable.”_

Tim couldn’t really imagine getting out of this situation any time soon and why not end the pain when he could? It would really be so easy. After all, he was worthless, uncared for, _replaceable_.

  
Tim was glad when sleep took him, silencing all his thoughts but one: Did death feel the same way: empty, hollow, painless?

* * *

 

  
Tim’s eyelids fluttered open and he was faced with the same, disappointingly gray concrete he fell asleep to. He laid there for several moments wondering why he’d been able to wake up on his own. The past two (?) days had been nothing short of a rollercoaster of emotion between the escape attempts and being dragged back to Presley’s office. Tim shuddered, willing the memories to go away and hopefully never bother him again. He reluctantly sat up and looked around his cell.

  
It should have excited him, really. Seeing the door to his cell just standing open, no movement detected in the hallway, but Tim just stared at it, unfeeling and empty. He sighed and struggled to his feet, every movement difficult to execute when Tim felt there was no purpose to anything. He probably should be feeling something physical if anything, but it was all too much. The constant teasing and beatings, he just wanted out. Tim walked over to the doorway and looked into the hallway finding nobody, just as he thought.

  
He turned his head and looked further up the hallway. A rusty, metal staircase that he hadn’t noticed before was there, most likely leading up to the roof. Perhaps if he had the energy and all-consuming hope from the two previous days, Tim would have headed up to the roof to try and escape. He didn’t want to try, he wanted to lay on the floor and stare at the wall and make a decision. He had two choices, was he going to live, or do what could be called living, and suffer through beatings and rape without the hope of someone finding him, or was he going to end it all and let Presley find his cold, dead body left for him so eloquently in the cage that Tim’s been trapped in for who knows how many days.

  
Tim tore his eyes from the staircase and walked back into the room. Whatever they had set up for him this time wasn’t worth it. Tim didn’t want to fight anymore, didn’t want that little spark of hope to ignite in his chest and bring back the feeling that had been gloriously missing. Hope would only bring disappointment and Tim was too tired for that. He couldn’t handle any more disappointment in his life. Even if he did make it back, Bruce would probably be wondering how he managed to get kidnapped in the first place. Even more disappointment. And then there was Jason…

  
No, Tim wasn’t going to do anything but lie on the floor and stare at the wall. He wouldn’t create any expectations for himself, wouldn’t have those expectations crushed, and wouldn’t have to feel. No more pain and no more hurt. That sounded like just what he needed. Tim looked at the floor and even the action of lying down so he wouldn’t have to do anything seemed like it would take too much effort.

  
“Looks like somebody learned his lesson.” Tim stiffened as Presley spoke up behind him. He hadn’t even noticed the other man approaching.

  
Tim hunched in on himself and looked over his shoulder sharply. “What do you want?”

  
Presley grinned, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. “Came to talk and maybe reward you for good behavior.”

  
Tim grit his teeth. “What. Do. You. Want.”

  
Presley sighed, grin falling from his face. “To talk. I’m glad you finally got it through that head of yours that you aren’t going to escape me. I thought you might deserve a reward for showing that you can learn and that maybe one day I’ll be able to trust you.”

  
Tim hunched in on himself further, dreading the turn this conversation might take and not looking forward to whatever reward Presley had in mind. “So I’m the one that needs to earn trust here. I’d think that opportunity would be left to a rapist like you.”

  
Presley laughed. “You may still have a sarcastic mouth on you, but at least you won’t be running away.” He took several steps towards Tim until there was only a few inches of space separating them. “As for your reward, we’ll go slow this time and I’ll show you that it’s better with me when you don’t deserve to be punished.” Presley said, caressing one of Tim’s arms with his hand.

  
Tim stepped away sharply. “No.” He growled, fists clenched.

  
Presley looked stunned, hand still hanging in the air where Tim’s arm had been. “Excuse me?”

  
“I said, no.” Tim answered, defiantly.

  
Presley made a fist with the hand still hanging in the air. Without a word he pulled out the controller for Tim’s collar, thumb hovering millimeters above the button. “Looks like you still have some lessons to learn after all.”

  
Tim’s eyes widened a fraction before his world erupted into nothing but pain and electricity. His body convulsed, forcing itself to the floor with the help of gravity. Every nerve ending in his body was on fire, almost as if he’d been thrown into a volcano, or Mordor. Tim wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. Tim’s whole body shook with the fierceness of it all. After a few minutes the pain stopped. Tim felt entirely drained, the floor the only thing holding him up. He was panting, the gulps of air feeling much too cold against his throat and lungs.

  
“Now,” Presley said walking over to him. “Are you going to behave and do what I say, or do you need more punishment?”

  
Despite the amount of pain Tim’s body had been in, he still felt empty and realized he didn’t give a shit. There was nothing else for him to give, but he sure as hell wasn’t about to let this asshole do whatever the hell he wanted. “Fuck. You.” He grit out, each syllable much more difficult than it should have been.

  
Presley rolled his eyes. “Very well.”

  
Tim was prepared for the pain this round, but even knowing what to expect was nothing. Nothing in his life could compare to this, not even the times when Jason had tried to kill him. As his body convulsed, Tim couldn’t stop wondering if this is what it felt like when Jason died. Did he experience this indescribable amount of pain when the bomb went off sending fire to engulf his body? Tim hoped he didn’t. Jason didn’t deserve to feel this kind of pain. Ever.

  
Tim spent several moments writhing on the floor before it stopped. He gulped in lungful’s of air, hoping that the oxygen would help to cool off his body. Tim licked his lips, tasting blood. When had he bitten his lips? It didn’t matter really. His eyes fluttered shut. Tim was tired, so very tired and he just wanted to sleep. A wave of calm washed over his tortured and beaten body, making everything seem like it was going to be okay. The darkness would take him now and he wouldn’t have to feel pain ever again. Is this what dying felt like? Was he dying? Tim didn’t care, he thought he should probably care, but he didn’t care.

  
Tim felt warm. He hadn’t felt warm in a long time. He must be in heaven, only heaven could be this warm. Did heaven even exist? Maybe he was in hell. That would explain the warmth. Could he smell in heaven/hell/wherever he was? It smelled like cigarette smoke and Jason’s aftershave. If the afterlife smelled like Jason, Tim was happy with that. Jason was good, Jason loved him, Jason protected him. Tim frowned. It sounded like someone was talking to him, but who would be talking to him? Was it his parents? Were they here?

  
Tim tried to move, but something restricted his movements. Tim’s heartrate sped up. This couldn’t be happening. He was supposed to be safe! He was supposed to be free! The voice grew louder, it sounded familiar, but Tim didn’t know why. Something tightened around him. Arms, those felt like arms! But whose arms would he be in? This didn’t make any sense. Tim really didn’t like it when things didn’t make sense. Tim forced his eyes open, the need to have answers overriding his desire to ignore the world, and found himself looking up at Jason’s face.

  
“Jason…” He asked groggily.

  
Jason looked down at him, clutching him tighter to his chest. “Shh babybird. I’ve got you.”

  
Tim curled in on himself and burrowed as far against Jason’s chest as he could. “Jason.” He said softly, before breaking down and sobbing in his boyfriend’s arms, only vaguely aware that he was being carried up to the manor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go ahead, say it. I am a horrible person for that. I know, and now I have to fix it. Maybe? Maybe not? We'll see. Can't reveal all of my secrets. :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the update and you can find me on tumblr as my-one-love-is-music if you want to chat or have questions about the fic or anything.
> 
> ~MOLIM


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...it's been probably about a month since I've updated this and I am so freaking sorry! School has just been so hectic. I'm taking 18 credit hours this semester, it felt as though I had a paper due every other day, not to mention a couple of weeks ago I presented at a conference. But, finals are next week which means the end of the semester for me and summer is here! I'm hoping that I'll be able to update far more often, sans the two weeks at the end of May I'll be in Japan for a study abroad trip. 
> 
> Anyway, prepare yourselves for pain. I know, I make you wait a month after experiencing a helluva lot of pain and now I just keep giving you more. 
> 
> ~MOLIM

                Tim’s sobs subsided quickly, he forced the emotions back, knowing that he didn’t have time to deal with them at the moment.  He couldn’t afford to have everything related to his experience at the surface if he needed to go through a debriefing with Bruce. Tim had to compartmentalize and prioritize. His feelings could wait until he was alone, clean and safe. After re-entering the manor, Jason carried Tim down to the Batcave and was followed closely by both Alfred and Bruce. Tim studiously kept his gaze diverted from the two men, trying to make himself as small as possible. Dick arrived shortly after Jason placed Tim in a chair.

                “Tim!” Dick shouted joyfully. He moved in to give Tim a hug, but Tim curled in on himself, pulling the dirty blanket tight around his small frame, causing Dick to stop, uncertain at Tim’s reaction to him. Tim couldn’t bear to be touched. He felt dirty and disgusting. He wanted to get away from these people and shower, but knew that they needed to be debriefed and understand what happened to him. Some of what happened to him anyway.

                “Tim?” Bruce asked. Tim glanced at him before looking away, acknowledging that he heard him. “Can you tell us what happened?”

                Tim curled up further, an action that nearly breaks Jason’s heart. He’s never seen Tim look so vulnerable. “How much do you know?” He asks, hating just how small his voice sounds.

                “Jason told us everything leading up to your abduction at school. He gave us the details you relayed to him over the phone call and what he saw when you were taken.”

                Tim nods. “Well…” He hesitates, knowing he doesn’t want to reveal a lot of information. “They took me to a warehouse. It wasn’t like a majority of the old places down by the bay. This one still had a lot of equipment on the main floor and was in pretty good condition, obviously well maintained. Presley is the guy in charge.” Saying his name makes Tim feel like vomiting and he swallowed loudly, hoping no one noticed how close he came to gagging, or dry heaving, or actually vomiting. “No last name, but he obviously comes from money. I don’t know exactly how much he knows, but he somehow figured out that I was Red Robin. I did my best to play it off and convince him that he was wrong, but he didn’t buy it.”

                Jason clenched his hands. “What did they want?” He spit through gritted teeth.

                Tim glanced at him quickly before moving his gaze back to the floor. “I believe the exact words he used were ‘my brain.’ He wanted me for my tech abilities and knowledge. He joked about wanting money too, but he has plenty of that because of how well maintained the warehouse was and the amount of muscle he had employed. He only cares what I can give him at least through my knowledge of WE.” _And what he felt needed to be taken._ Silence filled the cave after Tim finished speaking. He wasn’t going to offer up any more information than that and if no one was going to ask him why he was only wearing a blanket, he wasn’t going to explain it to them.

                “Okay.” Bruce said, finally. “We’ll get a case file started for all of this and start looking into any Presley’s who come from wealthy families. With luck, we’ll locate a picture soon and you can give us an ID. We’ll also need you to do the routine health check.” Tim stiffened at the words and his eyes went wide. “If you’ll-“

                “No.” Tim said firmly. “I’m not doing that.”

                “Tim.” Bruce said, firmly, eyes narrowed. “You know the protocol.”  

                “No.” He repeated. Damn the protocol.

                “You have to do the health check, Tim.”

                “I refuse. I’m not doing it.” He said, standing quickly and backing away from Bruce.

                “What about this.” Jason spoke up. “How about if I do-“

                “No.” Tim shook his head frantically. “Not you. Anyone but you.” Tim didn’t mean it to sound as harsh as it did and the wounded look on Jason’s face didn’t help, but Tim couldn’t bear Jason knowing what happened to him. Tim wasn’t ready to face Jason pushing him away for the things he went through.

                “Tim…” Bruce interjected again.

                “If I may offer a suggestion?” Alfred broke in eloquently and everyone turned to face him expectantly. “Master Timothy, will you be satisfied if I were to perform the health check? Only the necessary information will need to be disclosed, of course.”

                Tim looked around at the group of people standing around him and reluctantly nodded. “O-okay.”

                “Excellent. If everyone will give us a few moments?” Alfred questioned (ordered) and motioned for the remainder of the group to leave the Cave.

                Tim hesitated, making sure everyone was indeed leaving the Cave, before he followed Alfred over to the examination table, sitting up on it as Alfred prepared all of the necessary medical equipment and health forms on a clipboard. Tim gripped the edge of the table tightly in his hands, leaving the blanket pooled around his waist, as Alfred slowly began to poke and prod his body. He wasn’t experiencing any pain, and was too distracted to feel it regardless, but the thought of what was coming was making his heart race. Throughout the examination, Alfred refrained from talking, of which Tim was grateful, he simply made notes on the clipboard. He also made to comment with regards to Tim’s elevated heartrate.

                Alfred sighed. “Alright, Master Timothy. If you would be so kind as to remove your blanket and lie on your side for the rectal exam.”

                Tim nodded stiffly. His movements were robotic as he stared at nothing, willing something to happen so he wouldn’t have to face this. Let someone burst through the doors and say they found something. Stop Alfred because they all knew how much Tim didn’t want to do this. Say the van had returned demanding for Tim’s return and a fight had broken out. Hell, Tim would’ve been satisfied with the Joker popping up in the middle of the day and trying to rob a bank. Anything that would prevent Alfred from continuing.

Tim wasn’t prepared for the shame or disappoint he would undoubtedly experience. The looks that people would give him now that they knew what had happened. The disgust and judgement. Tim set the blanket next to him on the table and rolled onto his side, eyes screwed shut as he waited for the first prod. He shivered at the touch of cool metal. As Alfred probed deeper, Tim began to shake, futile in his efforts to try and suppress the memories that wanted to drown him in cold and darkness, the emotions that were trying to claw their way up his throat.

                “Oh Master Timothy…” Alfred said softly. Tim shook even harder at the tender tone Alfred’s voice held, like the feeling of rose petals. It broke something inside Tim and he began to sob. The wall holding his emotions back no match for the flood that burst through. He curled in on himself as Alfred gave him some space and time to process everything. Alfred cleaned the used equipment and finished filling out the medical forms, moving to the filing cabinet to add them to Tim’s file. He continues completing small housekeeping tasks, making sure not to leave the Cave until Tim was ready.

                Tim wasn’t sure how long he cried, but he didn’t finish until all of the pain, humiliation, and shame that he’d experienced over the past couple of days forced its way out. He was left feeling hollow and empty, a void inside of himself yearning for some sort of feeling, but Tim had nothing to give it. Nothing left that he wanted to give. He sat up slowly, suddenly feeling tired beyond belief, wanting nothing more than to crawl into his bed and never leave. Tim wrapped the blanket back around himself before pushing off of the table to stand, not entirely sure what to do next. Alfred had just witnessed the evidence of one of the most shameful experiences of Tim’s life and Tim had proceeded to sob openly in front of the man.

                Alfred turned to face him expectantly. “Is there anything else I can assist you with, Master Timothy?”

                Tim stared at him for a moment, processing the words. “W-would you mind not telling Bruce about this?”

                Alfred offered him a soft smile. “I promise not to breathe a word of it.”

                Tim nodded, knowing that Bruce would find out anyway by looking at the information Alfred had no doubt recorded on the medical forms. At least it wouldn’t be talked about. By Alfred, anyways. Tim turned towards the stairs leading out of the Cave, the act of climbing them seeming to be a monumental task that Tim had no hope of completing, lacking the necessary energy. He took a deep breath, beginning the slow trudge up the stairs to the Manor.

                Upon exiting the clock, Tim was faced with a room full of people who immediately stopped talking and stared at him. He tried ignoring their looks and refused to divulge any more information. Alfred, and soon Bruce, already had a better idea of what happened than Tim would’ve liked. He pulled the blanket tighter around him and turned away from the expectant faces, starting up the stairs to his room, hoping that everyone else would leave him alone. Jason was the first to move and follow after Tim, much to his chagrin, him being the last person who Tim wanted to talk to about this.

                “Tim is everything okay?” Jason asked, uncertainly.

                “I’m fine.” Tim said, hoping that Jason would just _leave him alone._

                They ascended the remaining steps in silence. Tim praying with each step that Jason would turn around and go back down them. Jason reached out a hand to stop Tim at the top of the landing causing him to flinch and screw his eyes shut. Tim realizing he’s not about to be beaten or forced to his knees, opened his eyes to find Jason looking at him, face filled with hurt and worry. Tim feels a new wave of shame wash over him. He couldn’t even have a conversation without his experiences influencing his behavior in some way. If Jason knew everything that happened to Tim, Tim’s sure that disgust would replace everything else: the hurt, the concern, the _worry_. Tim shook his head and began to back away slowly, not knowing how to explain his reaction, especially towards a person he had been so intimate with.

                “Tim, _please…_ ” Jason pleads. He tries to step forward and take Tim into his arms, or something else, Tim isn’t entirely sure, but he knows he can’t be touched by Jason. He can’t _afford_ to be touched by him.

                Tim just shakes his head and continues to back down that hallway, turning and sprinting down the hallway to his room before Jason can grab him. He entered the room quickly, slamming and locking the door behind him, knowing that Jason isn’t far behind.

                Seconds afterwards Jason knocks frantically on the door, calling to Tim, voice desperate. “Tim, please talk to me. If it’s something I did, tell me so I can fix it. Tell me, please. Please, Tim. Please, talk to me. Babybird…I-I’m sorry. Whatever it is I did, I’m sorry. Just talk to me, please. I love you, Tim. Tim, _please_ …”

                Tim stood in the middle of his room listening to Jason’s pleas for forgiveness. He couldn’t stand it. If anyone needed forgiveness it was him. _He_ was the one who was stupid enough to get himself into that situation. _He_ was the one who’s broken and used and worthless. _He’s_ the one who’s replaceable.

                Jason’s voice died down. He’d probably resolved himself to the fact that Tim wasn’t planning on coming out anytime soon. Tim heard the rustle of fabric, most likely Jason getting comfy on the other side of his door. Finally registering the blanket he was wrapped in and the room he was in, Tim ripped off the blanket as though it had burned him. He wanted to burn it. Let it turn to ashes and disappear for good into the void just as the void was underneath Tim’s skin, waiting, searching, getting darker. Tim walked into his bathroom with arms wrapped around himself. He turned on the water as hot as it would go and stared at himself in the mirror.

                Tim’s body was covered in grime, he could feel the layers of dried sweat that had accumulated on his skin. Unsurprisingly, bruises riddled his body from the fights he got in during his escape attempts. His hair was greasy and oily, having gone too many days without a shower. Tim’s eyes regarded his neck last. Hand prints marked the skin, a mixture of blue and purple creating a disturbingly beautiful necklace. If Tim didn’t know the origins of the bruises, he could almost mistake it for an intricate tattoo pattern, the colors swirling across his skin, fading out of existence in some places only for the color to come back with equal force in other places. Tim shivered and hastily stepped into the shower, hoping to escape the sight of himself by being covered with the hot spray.

                Without looking down at his torso, Tim lathered soap onto a washcloth and began to hastily scrub his body, skin reddening under the dual assault of the scalding water and Tim’s harsh scrubbing. No matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn’t get clean. The dirt and grime came of easily enough and was washed down the drain without a second look, and yet, Tim wasn’t clean. He would never be clean again, forced to be dirty for the rest of his life. Marked and separated from others even if they couldn’t see it and didn’t know. Tim would know. He did know.

 

_Dirty, dirty, dirty._

                Once Tim had exhausted himself with scrubbing his body, still unsatisfied with his results, he moved on to shampooing his hair. He completed the task in almost a trance and watched as the shampoo was washed down over his arms and chest. His skin was red and blotchy, nearly raw in some places, the scalding water continuing to irritate it. Tim slid down to the stall’s floor, feeling empty once again now that he didn’t have anything to focus on.

 

_You’re worthless._

                Tim couldn’t even bring himself to cry, there was nothing else left within him. He just stared at the shower wall. He was a burden. Couldn’t even protect himself properly.

 

_No one’s coming for you._

Of course they didn’t come for Tim, _he was a burden_. By leaving him after he got kidnapped they wouldn’t have to worry about how to get rid of him. It was the easiest and cleanest way for him to disappear, or at least it would have been if his kidnappers hadn’t returned him. Even they didn’t want him, knowing he was too much trouble for his worth.

 

_Worthless._

What was the point really?

 

_Replaceable._

 

                Tim knew he shouldn’t have begun to trust other people.

 

_WORTHLESS!_

                He’d seen what that had done in the past. How it had left him, but Jason had just seemed like the perfect opportunity and he’d felt lucky that Jason had shared his feelings. Tim had thought things were actually going his way for once and everything would work out for him. Of course they wouldn’t. Tim had been naïve and stupid.

 

_REPLACEABLE!_

 

                Tim brought his knees to his chest, burying his face in them. The void inside of him feeding greedily, taking any moment of light that had been left. It was dulling everything that had made him happy. Those things wouldn’t be able to make him happy anymore. He was alone. Would they even let him be Red Robin anymore? He was compromised now and would be thrown away.

 

_YOU DESERVE THIS!_

                Why did they bring him back? What was the point? Nothing mattered really. He didn’t matter.

 

_WORTHLESS! REPLACEABLE! YOU DESERVE THIS!_

Tim embraced the void, letting the words echo through his mind, through his body, let them engulf him, surround him, take everything he had left to give. It didn’t matter if he gave it freely or not, the void would take regardless, leaving Tim to face the truth of the world, the truth of himself. It was the only thing he could trust anymore.

 

_Worthless. Replaceable. You deserve this. No one’s coming for you._

 

                It was the only truth he had left.

 

_replaceable_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the end of this chapter literally gave me chills. I know some of you probably seriously hate me for it, but I feaking LOVE the ending!!!
> 
> Feel free to comment and let me know how I'm doing and how much you hate me for this. 
> 
> If you want to hit me up on Tumblr it's: my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com I love talking to people, so you can ramble, ask me stuff, or even send me prompts. I don't mind and am happy when anyone sends me stuff.
> 
> See you soon! (hopefully)
> 
> ~MOLIM


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A new chapter? AND IT'S ONLY BEEN A LITTLE OVER A WEEK???!!! Ah, the joys of being on summer break. 
> 
> I actually wrote most of this chapter (2500 words) last night during the course of the three movies my mom and I rented last night. I'm super, super pleased with the ending again. I absolutely love delving in to Tim's mind and writing this. Wow...that kind of makes me seem like a really horrible person. I swear I'm not a psychopath. I just really like creating this story and exploring the characters. 
> 
> I have about 2.5 weeks until I leave for Japan, so I hope to keep cranking out the chapters until then so you have lots of things before I go off the grid. Hopefully it'll be enough to hold all of you over. 
> 
> Enjoy the pain!
> 
> ~MOLIM

                By the time Tim managed to finally drag himself upright and out of the shower his skin had pruned and his muscles were stiff from the position he was sitting in. He shut off the water and wrapped himself in a towel, not bothering to even dry himself off. Tim stumbled out into his bedroom, feet dragging on the carpet, and over to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of boxers, sweat pants, and a hoodie. Tim threw his towel into the hamper and pulled on the clothes. He shuffled over to his bed and collapsed on top of it, sinking into the supple material.

                “Tim?” He stiffened at hearing his name. The possibility that Jason had stayed in the hallway outside of his door hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Tim?” Jason asked again, more determined this time. “Please, Tim. I just want to talk to you. You don’t even have to talk to me. I just want to know that you’re all right and if there’s anything that I can do to help. Please talk to me, Tim.”

                Tim bit his lip, unsure if he really wanted to respond or not. “I have nothing to say, Jason.”

                “Tim-,” he started.

                “Leave me alone, Jason. I have nothing to say to you or anyone else.”

                Tim heard Jason sigh. “At least come down for dinner.”

                “Alfred can bring some up.”

                “Tim…”

                “Go _away,_ Jason.”

                Tim heard Jason sigh again, but he didn’t say anything else. Tim held his breath, wondering if he would actually leave or continue to camp out in the hallway. After a few beats Tim heard Jason move down the hallway, no doubt to pass on the message. Tim let out the breath he was holding and sagged further into the sheets, closing his eyes. He let his mind go blank, not thinking about anyone or anything, content, at least for the moment, not to be plagued with horrid thoughts.

                A knock jolted Tim from his temporary peace. He tensed, hoping that Jason hadn’t already come back.

                “Master Timothy?” Alfred spoke up from the other side of the door.

                “Can I help you, Alfred?”

                “At the request of Master Jason, I brought you some dinner. I’ll leave it out here and you can collect it at your leisure. I assure you that Master Jason is not here with me, he is sulking downstairs.”

                “I am not sulking!” Jason exclaimed in a voice that would normally make Tim smile.

                “Thanks, Alfred,” Tim replied, ignoring Jason’s outburst.

                “Of course, Master Timothy.”

                Tim heard Alfred set the tray down and walk away. He honestly wasn’t hungry and the thought of eating made him nauseous. Using his arms as leverage, Tim pulled himself towards his pillow and kicked the blankets further down the bed in order to slide underneath them. He wrapped himself in a nice blanket burrito and settled into the warmth, hoping to find some sort of security from being wrapped up so tightly. Tim reveled in the calmness of his mind, eyes unblinking and unseeing, staring at the wall in front of his face. He was in such a deep trance that he didn’t even notice when he fell asleep.

                A gentle, but firm knocking roused Tim from his sleep. It had been pleasantly peaceful, no nightmares or intrusive thoughts to bother him. Just a dreamless sleep that allowed Tim to be dead to the world around him for once.

                “Master Timothy?” It was Alfred again.

                He sighed. “Yes, Alfred?” he asked respectfully.

                “I am sorry that you were not able to find it in you to eat last night. I have brought you some breakfast this morning and will leave it out here for you. I do encourage you to eat when you have the chance in order to keep your strength up.”

                “Thank you, Alfred. That’s very kind of you.”

                The butler sighed. “If there is anything that you need, do not hesitate to ask.” Alfred walked away, leaving Tim in blessed silence.

                Finally everyone had gotten it in their heads that Tim just wanted to be left alone. There was no Alfred, no Jason waiting on him to say something or come out of his room. He didn’t need to talk, he didn’t need to face it. He just needed _time._ Time to push all of this crap away and recover his life. Put everything back where it needs to be and take control of his life. No, talking about it would just prevent everything from going away, especially if he were to tell Jason. Who knew how Jason was going to react. That would rip everything apart when things should just be allowed to settle. It was best to just let them fade out and disappear. Let their relationship remain with everything else that had happened over the past few days. Time healed pain best, or at least bred acceptance.

                Tim rolled over and stared at his room. It was certainly in a state with clothes thrown everywhere, books and papers, both school related and case related, piled on top of the desk. The blanket from yesterday was still in the middle of Tim’s floor. He really wanted to burn it. Tim briefly wondered if he had any matches or a lighter. He could easily throw it out the window so it wouldn’t set the fire alarms off or burn the rest of the house down.

                Tim jumped out of the bed, suddenly elated with the idea, and more motivated then he had been over the past couple of days. He strode over to his closet and yanked the door open, revealing an array of Red Robin suits and gear. He knelt on the carpet and dug through one of his spare parts bins that always included various odds and ends he’d somehow managed to acquire. Tim pushed aside the several metal parts and remnants of other technology, grinning when he found a small silver lighter at the bottom. He excitedly scrambled out of the closet, nearly tripping as he tried to gain his footing, and quickly approached the blanket heaped on the floor.

                Tim paused, joy waning, and conflicted between really wanting to burn this thing and not wanting to lay a hand on it. He bit his lip, deciding to put off the inevitable, if only for a few moments, by opening the window first. He pushed it open, caught off guard for a moment by how bright and warm everything seemed to be outside. It was strange to experience after having been desensitized for so many days. He forgot a world actually existed outside of his self-imposed isolation. Outside his mind and what had taken over him completely.

                Tim shook away the thoughts and turned back to the task at hand. He took a steadying breath and looked at the blanket once more. He could do this, he really could do this. Tim snatched it off the floor, holding it away from his body and flipped the lighter cap open. He held the blanket out of the window, got a light, and held it up to the fabric. It took a few seconds for the flame to catch, but once it did there was no stopping it. Tim watched it, entranced by the dancing flames and how they managed to eat the fabric into nothingness. How easily the flames destroyed and how easily the blanket ceased to exist.

                Not entirely comfortable with the direction his thoughts had taken, Tim released his hold. If Tim thought the flames had held an ethereal beauty, it was nothing compared to the view of the blanket drifting to the ground. Everything else ceased to be, all of the attention focused on the path the material was carving for itself through the air. It sought two destinations at once: the ground and the void. Tim continued to watch the fire even after the remainder of the blanket hit the yard. He felt giddy. Something that hadn’t even been possible several minutes ago and smiled.

                The back patio door opened and Alfred, Jason, and Dick walked out. Jason looked up. “Tim?” he questioned. "What’re you doing?”

                “Shit,” Tim hissed and ducked back inside, closing and securing the window. He really hoped that no one would decide to come up, but knew Jason was probably on his way already. Tim tried to stay calm and distract himself with small things, like returning the lighter to its place in the spare parts bin. He shut the closet and turned to face the rest of the room, wringing his hands.

                A series of knocks sounded a few moments later. “Tim?” It was Jason, or course it was Jason. “Tim are you okay?”

                “I’m fine!” He was starting to get irritated. So he set a blanket on fire and threw it out the window. What was the big deal?

                “Okaaaay. Are you planning on lighting anything else on fire anytime soon, or was this a onetime deal?”

                Tim rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to burn the house down if that’s what you’re concerned with.” Tim was enjoying this. Well, he was, until Jason had decided to ruin it with his stupid concerns. If he’d known setting something on fire would make him feel a little more like his old self and able to act like it, he would’ve burned the entire fucking warehouse district down.

                “No, I don’t think that you’re going to burn the house down, or, at least I trust you not to. But, what I’m trying to say is that you can’t use this to cope with your kidnapping.”

                _Cope with his kidnapping?_ Cope _with his_ kidnapping _?_ Tim was furious. Absolutely livid. He stalked over to the door and slammed a palm against it. “You think I did this to _cope_ with my _kidnapping_? You have no idea what I went through. You have no idea how I need to _cope_. I don’t need to _cope_ , Jason. I’m fine!”

                “Tim-“ Jason started, clearly unnerved.

                “Leave me alone!” He pounded against the door, willing Jason to just leave. Why couldn’t Jason just get it through his stupid head that Tim was fine? He just needed to be alone. He needed Jason to leave him alone so that he could forget about everything that had happened.

                “Okay. Okay, Tim, if that’s what you want.” Jason moved loudly down the hallway, making his retreat obvious for the younger man.

                Tim sighed and leaned his forehead against the wood of the door. He was suddenly drained of energy, all the enjoyment he’d previously been experiencing sucked dry. Tim’s body felt like it was made of lead and he dragged it back to his bed. He curled up on side and wrapped the blanket back around him. He stared at nothing and everything, allowing his eyes to roam over the flawless wall in front of him. What was he even doing anymore? Why bother trying when everything seemed to be so pointless and all of his efforts to move on and forget what happened.

                The soft and gentle knocking that was characteristic of Alfred woke Tim yet again. He hadn’t even remembered falling asleep this time, so lost in thought he had been. He wondered what the elderly butler could want this time. He probably came to bring Tim more food, not that Tim had any intention of eating it. He wished they would all leave him alone.

                “Master Timothy, I brought you some lunch.”

                “Just leave it in the hallway Alfred, please,” Tim said, somehow still exhausted even though he’d just woken up.

                “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Master Timothy. Since you’ve failed to eat the previous two meals that I have left for you, I must insist that you let me in.”

                “That’s not necessary.”

                “I’m afraid it must be so. I will not tolerate you going without and if that means standing in the hallway with your meal until you will let me inside, then so be it.”

                Tim sighed. “Okay, Alfred.” He pulled himself out of bed, fighting with the sheets and blankets as he did so. He shuffled across the room to the door, but paused before opening it. “Jason’s not out there is he?”

                “No, Master Timothy. He has been off on his own since he checked on you earlier.”

                Tim slowly unlocked the door, turned the handle, and pulled it open to reveal an extremely pleased Alfred. Tim moved out of the way to allow him in and once he was inside, shut and re-locked the door. When Tim turned around, he found Alfred had set the tray on top of his bed and pulled up the desk chair to sit next to him. Alfred looked at him expectantly and Tim reluctantly joined him. He wrapped the covers back around him before pulling the tray onto his lap. Alfred had prepared a spectacular spread as usual: a rainbow of a salad, a warm tomato basil soup, a bowl of pasta, and a slice of apple tart. There was even a glass of both orange juice and water. Not that any of it actually made Tim want to eat.

                As Tim, albeit reluctantly, tucked into his breakfast, Alfred began talking. He started with the most relevant information: Tim’s blanket burning escapade. “Master Jason and Master Richard were seated in the kitchen attempting to have a civil conversation when you dropped the blanket. Needless to say that we were all incredibly startled when it landed and were worried something far more dangerous had occurred. As you saw, the three of us walked out onto the back patio when Master Jason noticed your head protruding from your bedroom window. Master Jason was startled at seeing you, but I was rather pleased to see you in such good spirits, as was Master Richard. After Master Jason ran upstairs to come and talk to you, I cleaned up the remnants of that vile piece of fabric.

                “It left a scorched patch of grass on the lawn, unfortunately. This afternoon I’ll have to heavily fertilize and water the patch to hopefully restore the healthy, green appearance. I have not made Master Bruce aware of the blemish that has disgraced the lawn, for he’s been rather preoccupied today with research and I believe an issue arose at Wayne Enterprises. Nothing serious, but the issue does require an impressive understanding of technology. I’m sure that you would have taken care of the problem with ease and a finesse that would make others envious.”

                Listening to Alfred talk while he ate was comforting for Tim. The older man’s voice was soothing even if he was discussing things such as fertilizing grass. Tim was so distracted by Alfred, he hadn’t even noticed how much food he had eaten that when he looked back down at his plate it was empty. He looked back up at Alfred who was smiling at him, obviously pleased with how things had gone.

                Alfred stood from the desk chair. “If you have finished, Master Timothy, I will return later tonight with your dinner and we can resume our conversation. I’m sure that I will have riveting updates for you about the patch of burnt grass in the yard.” He took the tray from Tim’s lap and easily left the room, not even stumbling over balancing the tray and unlocking and exiting through the door.

                Tim stared at the door for several moments thinking back over his conversation, well conversation wasn’t really the right word, his meal spent with Alfred. Most of the things that had been said didn’t pertain to Tim at all, but the comments about his skills with technology didn’t sit right. Others could handle those same situations just as easily as he could. He was replaceable. It was exactly as Presley had said. He was only good for the things he could do, but others could do them as well. Only as good as the information he had.

                Tim flung himself out of bed and ran to lock the door. He sprinted into the bathroom and turned the water on as hot as it would go before ridding himself of the sweats that he’d put on last night. He jumped under the hot stream of water and slammed the door closed, intent on ridding himself of everything. All of the bad that he shouldn’t have to have anymore. Tim grabbed the soap and lathered up a washcloth, immediately starting to furiously scrub at the offending skin.

 

_Dirty. Dirty. Dirty._

                Tim couldn’t take it anymore. Why did he have to live like this? Why did he have to be subjected to such things? He was finally happy. Things were going great at college and he was managing to balance everything with his duties as Red Robin. He hadn’t had any near death experiences. And things with Jason were _good_. They were so good and Presley took that all away from him. Had Taken away all of the happiness, sucked it out of his life.

 

_Worthless._

                Tim dropped to his knees. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He was fine, he didn’t need any help. He was doing just fine on his own and dealing with his problems because he could handle it. Tim had to be able to handle this himself. He couldn’t hinder anyone else with his problems. He had to prove that he was capable.

                A sob broke out of Tim’s chest. He placed a hand over his mouth to keep the sounds from spilling over. If they did then it would be real. If it was real then Tim would have to deal with it. He would have to accept what had happened to him. He wouldn’t be able to run anymore.

               

                _No one’s coming for you._

                No one’s coming for him. No one except himself. His soul, his mind, his body, all of which have the power to free him from this pain or break him. Break him and bury him under what’s left. The last little shards that made him who he was, who he used to be.

 

                Who he was no longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I love the ending. What did you think?? I'd love to hear your feedback and the comments that y'all send me make me super happy, so virtual hugs for all of you. Also love Alfred in this chapter. You go, Alfred. You go, and fertilize that lawn. 
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on Tumblr: tumblr.com/my-one-love-is-music
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'll see you soon. :)
> 
> ~MOLIM


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so I managed to get a chapter out in a week! Go me! Yesterday was actually my birthday and I chose to spend it writing this update, so happy birthday to me, have an update!
> 
> The response that I've gotten for this fic has been absolutely incredible. I've received over 100 kudos and several very generous comments. Thank you to everyone who has left kudos so far and comments as well! I love talking with you guys and seeing the response always motivates me to write more and we're not done yet so there's more to come!
> 
> After all of the pain that I've put you through over the previous six chapters, I think you're really going to like this one and send me passive-aggressive comments that say "FINALLY!" Finally, what? I don't know, you're going to have to read and find out. ;) 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> ~MOLIM

                Tim wasn’t awake for dinner that night. He collapsed into bed after he managed to collect himself enough to get out of the shower and passed out from exhaustion. He slept considerably well, all things considered. Tim’s brain was quiet which he was grateful for, at least he had a possible refuge from the thoughts that plagued him during the day. Alfred was probably going to be disappointed in him for not being available for dinner and probably thought Tim was ignoring him. He was currently lying in bed staring at the ceiling. He was waiting for the knock that he was sure was going to be coming soon. It was about the time when Alfred would bring him breakfast.

                As expected, a gentle knocking sounded from the other side of the door and Tim nearly smiled. “Master Timothy? I have your breakfast.”

                “Coming Alfred,” Tim said, pulling himself out of bed. He shuffled sluggishly over to the door and let Alfred in. As he shut and locked the door, Alfred took up his seat next to Tim’s bed with the tray. Tim returned to bed and took the tray from Alfred.

                “Did you sleep well? When you didn’t answer last night, I assumed you had turned in early,” the trusty butler began.

                “Yes, I did, thank you, Alfred. I was surprisingly tired last night. I’m sorry if I was rude.”

                “Not at all, Master Timothy. It’s completely understandable. Yesterday was quite an exciting day after all. I was slightly disappointed that I wasn’t able to share any of the developments that have occurred with the grass patch, but no better way to make up for lost time than the present. The damage was not as bad as I first feared. The patch is a sickly yellow at the moment, but I have faith that it will pull through and become a healthy green once again.

                “I pulled out the best fertilizer that we own. I must say, the stuff works wonders, Master Timothy. It’s absolutely superb when working on any form of gardening. I spread that over the patch, very liberally, I might add, with the hopes that it will encourage growth and healing early on. After adding the fertilizer, I watered the patch to activate the fertilizer and incite the grass to repair itself. I left the patch last night and returned to check on it this morning. The patch is by no means as dry as it was last night offering a positive outlook for the patch’s future.”

                Tim was strangely comforted by Alfred’s gardening tales. Just as the burnt patch of grass is able to heal and become healthy again, maybe he can too. He just needs a little fertilizer and water. A little bit of care. Maybe everything would be okay after all.

                “Well,” Alfred said, rising from his chair. “I must be getting back, now that I see you’ve finished. A butler’s job is never done and I have a certain bit of grass to tend to.” He picked up the tray from Tim’s lap. “Master Timothy.”

                “Hey, Alfred?” The older man paused in the doorway, tray balanced in hand. “Thanks,” Tim said, offering a small smile.

                Alfred returned Tim’s smile. “Of course, Master Timothy.”

                Tim stared at the closed door for a few moments after Alfred left. He felt renewed in a way, energized even. He felt the need to do something and be constructive. Tim jumped out of bed and strode over to his desk. He picked up his laptop and made himself comfortable with it under the covers. He booted up the device and stared at the home screen, momentarily lost. Tim was so used to having some sort of case to work on that not having research to do was…strange. He couldn’t research Presley, well he _could_ , but he really didn’t want to.

                Tim thought about the days of schoolwork he had missed, and was still missing. He needed to get caught to make sure that he prevented himself from falling further behind, but the amount of reading and number of projects that were undoubtedly waiting for him just drained Tim of any energy that he’d had. He opened up his Spotify and scrolled through his several playlists. Finally settling on a bit of classical music, Tim set the laptop on Alfred’s chair next to his bed and burrowed underneath the covers.

                Tim focused on the highs and lows of the music, he allowed the music to push and pull him. It was almost as if Tim was bobbing in the ocean. He wasn’t being pounded with waves or swept away in sound and emotion. The waves were gentle, lapping at his skin, covering it with salt. But the salt wasn’t crusty or dirty. It was white and pure and cleansing. Tim felt it beginning to rub the dirt off. His skin beginning to show for the first time in days.

                Tim closed his eyes and let himself go. Letting the flow take complete control oddly gave Tim control of everything that had been ripped out of his grasp. He didn’t have to be at the mercy of others and wouldn’t allow himself to be. Tim smiled as his body fully relaxed in time to the speed of the final ritardando. Silence filled the space between pieces before the music swelled again. This time the swell produced a twin swell that came from within Tim. A sense of hope that everything would be okay.

                A particularly dissonant cord jolted Tim from his temporary peace. The music took on a darker quality and Tim felt the waves around him become rougher. They were biting at his skin, seemingly trying to pull him apart. The sounds and waves were impossibly intense, bearing down on Tim’s body and his chest, making it nearly impossible to breathe through the pressure. The waves swamped him, dragged him down into darkness.

                Tim sat up in bed with a start, his foot upset the chair and knocked his laptop to the floor. It was forced closed and cut off the source of the music. He clutched the front of his sweatshirt, chest heaving. The darkness within him was rising. It would consume him and Tim couldn’t let it consume him. His sweatshirt was too tight and his skin was too hot. Everything was wrong, so wrong. Tim needed to get himself in the shower. He had to wash away the dirt and everything that was wrong. He couldn’t live like this anymore.

                A knock sounded at Tim’s door. He stared at it, breathe becoming more shallow and fast. Presley couldn’t be here, he _couldn’t_. Not unless they decided to finally get rid of him and give him back to the people who took him in the first place. Tim knew he was too much trouble for this. He should’ve just been left.

                “Master Timothy?”

                Tim inhaled shakily. “Y-yes, Alfred?” he croaked.

                “I have your lunch if you’re hungry as well as some riveting updates on the grass patch.”

                Tim laughed. It sounded broken and hollow. “Just…just give me a minute.” Tim took a deep breath and closed his eyes, twisting his hands in the folds of the blanket. He willed his heartbeat to slow and took several steadying breaths. Gradually, Tim was able to calm himself down. The knowledge that Alfred was waiting outside of his door with his lunch helped to bring him back from the edge. Tim got out of bed and stood on slightly shaky legs. He walked to the door slowly and let Alfred in.

                Alfred smiled at him gently and moved past him to his chair. Tim slowly followed him, still feeling overwhelmed from his near panic attack. He sat down in bed and took the tray reluctantly. He looked down at the food and swallowed. It was only after he took a tentative bite that Alfred began talking.

                “Ah, Master Timothy, it looks like things are looking up for our little patch of grass. There aren’t many changes from this morning. The color still remains the same sickly yellow, but the blades of grass that do remain have softened in texture. I heartily believe the patch will make a full recovery after its little accident.”

                “That’s excellent news Alfred. I’m sure it’s all thanks to your superb gardening skills,” Tim murmured.

                “Nonsense. I’m merely a humble butler doing the best he can when faced with such odds. Moving on, then. Master Jason returned home earlier this morning. He seemed a little tired, but wasn’t any worse for wear. He’d like to see you soon if you are able and passes on his wishes that he hopes you’re feeling better. When I brought up your lunch, Masters Richard and Damian were in the middle of a sparring session down in the Cave. I do say that Master Richard was making an excellent effort, but I do believe that Master Damian is going to win this one.”

                Tim let a small smile slip through. It was only there momentarily, but Alfred caught it all the same and seemed happy to see it. Tim resumed eating as Alfred continued recounting the events of the day.

                “Master Bruce managed to go into Wayne Enterprises today. It seems the issue that arose has been resolved and he is simply going to tie up all of the loose ends that have remained. I’m sure he will return later when everything has been completed. Master Bruce wanted to have the matter resolved quickly in order to focus all of his efforts on his current case. It’s very important to him and he desperately wants it to be resolved. Maybe when you’re feeling more up to it, you’ll be able to offer some assistance. All finished then?”

                Tim nodded and handed the tray back to Alfred who left silently. He was noticeably less energetic compared to his attitude after Alfred’s previous visit that day. He can’t keep living like this. His emotions are everywhere and there’s no telling what would set him off. Earlier it was only a simple change in tone from one piece of music to the next that sent him spiraling. Tim needed help, but he wasn’t prepared to share this with anyone yet. He would have to help himself.

                Tim stepped out of bed. He looked down at his laptop that had been upset before, strange how he’d forgotten about it until that moment. He bent and picked it up and replaced the device on Alfred’s chair next to the bed. Tim walked over to his desk and started rifling through his drawers, looking for a notebook. He finally found an empty one buried underneath old case files. It was one of those black composition books that teachers had students buy for school, but rarely got used. Tim grabbed a pen and returned to his place in bed, wrapping the covers around himself to try and protect him from what he was about to relive.

                Tim opened to the first page and took a deep breath and wrote the first, and probably most, important sentence that would be recorded.

 

_I was raped._

                Tim stared at the page. That one sentence being so simple, but meaning so much. Tim’s eyes quickly blurred with tears as he accepted what he just admitted to himself. He let the feeling wash over him. Let the tears come as they slid down his cheeks. Tim cried silently. He wasn’t trying to force the feelings to go away or prevent his sobs from coming out. He let the tears come. He watched them drip onto the page in front of him and blur the ink where they landed on the words.

                Once Tim’s eyes cleared enough, he picked up the pen again with shaking hands. His hand writing was messy. The page was a hodgepodge of scrawled words, tear stains, and smudged ink, but Tim didn’t let that stop him.

 

_I don’t know why this happened to me. I don’t know how they found me. I don’t know why it had to be me that was picked to experience this. I just know that everything I went through ripped me apart. I thought I could get over this and that it wouldn’t be a problem. I thought everything would go back to the way it was, but I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. I don’t want these things to control me anymore. I want my life to go back to the way it was. I want to be happy and I want to be at school. I want to be Red Robin and fight crime and I want to be able to spend time with Jason._

_Jason. One of my fears is that Jason will find me disgusting. He’ll hate me because I’m so weak. Because I was taken advantage of. Because I was    Because I was    Because    I    Was    Raped. Everyone knows that Jason hates rapists. But what will he think of me? I’m broken. I’m not strong. I can’t even keep myself together while listening to classical music. I don’t know how he could still love me, but I know I still love him. Even if it is buried underneath all the pain and misery and darkness that’s just consuming me. I want it to stop. I want to be happy and be able to love and live my life how I want it to be._

_That’s part of the reason why I started this. I can’t let everything linger. I can’t let it consume me. I just might go crazy if I do and then I’ll end up like the Joker. Or I’ll be institutionalized. If I can’t talk to a person then I can talk to nothing. I can get the words out and make them go away. I can get them out of my head and into a place where they can’t hurt me anymore. Where they can’t hurt anyone._

                Tim closed the notebook and set it next to him on the bed. He closed his eyes and leaned back up against the pillows, feeling a little overwhelmed. He could do this. He’d already taken the most difficult step by starting the journal. Tim was at least grateful that he wasn’t crying anymore. He felt drained of energy, but at the same time even a little bit lighter, as though some little bit of negativity that had been holding him back was gone and never coming back.

                The exhaustion brought on by Tim’s journaling experience prompted him to take a nap until dinner. Alfred woke Tim with his knocking yet again. Tim was beginning to see a pattern developing between them. He pulled himself out of bed groggily and stumbled over to the door with one of his feet still asleep after having been wrapped up in the blankets. He opened the door for Alfred while wiping the sleep from one of his eyes. Tim followed the butler back to his bed and settled in with the tray easily, looking forward to the food for once.

                “What is that Master Timothy?” he asked.

                Tim followed Alfred’s gaze to the journal that was still placed on his bed. “Oh, umm….” Tim blushed. “I started a journal. I thought that maybe if I were to, well, to write, about,” he sighed. “To write about what happened to me…that it might help me to better, I don’t know, understand what happened and how I’m feeling. And, yeah…” he trailed off, staring at the tray in front of him.

                “Well done, Master Timothy.” Alfred smiled.

                Tim looked up at him, slightly shocked by the praise he was receiving. “I-it’s really not a big deal,

Alfred.”

                “On the contrary. It’s marvelous. Many individuals who have experienced what you have wouldn’t even begin to work to improve their outlook like you are. And to think that you devised this solution yourself. It’s a very advanced way to approach the problem and I commend you for your idea.”

                Tim flushed and looked down at his plate. “How are things, Alfred?” he asked, trying to change the subject to anything besides himself.

                Alfred leaned back in his chair after he placed Tim’s laptop on the bed by the notebook. “Ah, yes. Well, Master Bruce has been informed about the grass patch and the improvements that have been made. He is rooting for the grass to make a full recovery, as are the two of us. I do believe that the little patch will make great strides in the next few days with the care that it has been receiving.

                “As you may recall, Masters Richard and Damian were having a sparring match this morning. I’m sure you’re eager to know who one that session. Although things had been in Master Damian’s favor when I left to bring you your lunch, it seems Master Richard still has some tricks that Master Damian does not have adequate defense for yet. Master Richard gave Master Damian an excellent go round and emerged the victor. The two of them shared an amiable lunch afterwards that Master Jason was, sadly, not part of.

                “Master Jason chose to get some much needed rest during that time. After coming back a bit more exhausted, he took one of the available rooms and got some sleep. He joined me in the kitchen later in the afternoon to have a chat while he enjoyed some food. Master Jason is working hard. He’s very much as dedicated to the current case as Master Bruce is and has been adamant on helping resolve it. That is most certainly not something that is seen every week, but I’m very pleased to see those two working so intensely on something this important, but that’s nothing that you need to worry yourself over. I’m sure that once you are feeling up to it Master Timothy, you’ll jump in on the case with them and work to bring this group of criminals to justice.”

                Tim swallowed his last bite of food. “How are you so certain that this is something that I’d want to work on?”

                Alfred smiled. “Just a feeling that I have. Finished then?”

                Tim nodded and handed the, now empty, tray back to Alfred and watched him leave. Tim was shocked to realize that tonight had been the most he’d spoken to Alfred since before he got back. He picked up the journal that was still on his bed, maybe he was doing the right thing after all. If he was already starting to improve and he hadn’t even recounted the events of his kidnapping yet, then this might just be the thing he needed. Tim placed the journal and his computer on top of Alfred’s chair and settled down to sleep, for once he was not plagued with intrusive thoughts or the need to shower until he reached a new level of exhaustion just so he could fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww wasn't that sweet? Alfred and his grass patch metaphors for life. God, I love that man. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I'm sure a shit ton of you are super happy that Tim is starting to make progress!
> 
> If you're interested in a genderfluid pastel crime boss Tim AU, feel free to check out my other fic: We're Immortals. That story isn't as popular, but if you're looking for something to read in the interim between chapters, ugh....it has lots of sex? And violence? If you're into that? Plus the chapters are super long so there's quite a bit to each update. Just sayin'. 
> 
> :D Anyway, if you want to chat on Tumblr, or follow me (which is cool), or prompt me (also cool), it's tumblr.com/my-one-love-is-music
> 
> Thanks for reading! (Feedback me, please!) 
> 
> Love you all loads!
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD LOOK ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!
> 
> But, seriously, this is probably going to be the last one before I leave for Japan. I'll be gone from May 19 - June 4. If I get started on the next chapter before I leave it'll probably be up pretty soon after I get back, but I have to update We're Immortals first.....so yeah. Y'all are gonna have to wait 'til that's taken care of. 
> 
> I'm super happy with the continued response to this fic and new people who've just found it. *throws confetti* WELCOME! 
> 
> But yeah...I think that's all I have to say up here.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ~MOLIM

                Tim woke up far more refreshed than he’d been in days. His sleep was quiet, a fact which he was eternally grateful for. Tim reached his arms up over his head and stretched, arching his back up off the bed. He settled back down heavily, but squirmed a little when he noticed food crumbs dotting the sheets. He wrinkled his nose thinking that he should change them, figuring he’d ask Alfred when the other man appeared with his breakfast for their usual morning conversation.

                A knock sounded at the door and Tim jumped from bed amicably, looking forward to whatever Alfred felt like discussing today. He padded over to the door lightheartedly and pulled it open, immediately making his stomach drop.

                “Hi, Tim,” Jason said as though it wasn’t a big deal that he was standing in the doorway with Tim’s breakfast.

                Tim just stared at him, open-mouthed. His breathing became more shallow and erratic because _Jason was here_ and _Jason was not supposed to be here._

                “Tim,” he asked, concerned, taking a step into the room.

                Jason’s movement spurred Tim into action. He forced the older man out of his room and slammed the door in his face, chest heaving. He slid down against the door and drew his knees to his chest, burying his face there. Tim squeezed his eyes shut, desperately willing his breathing and heartrate to slow. Jason couldn’t be here. It was supposed to be Alfred. Tim was comfortable with Alfred. Alfred _understood._

                Voices in the hallway made Tim pause. He held his breath, able to just barely make out what was being said.

                “Master Jason…” It was Alfred.

                “Alfred…I just…” he sighed. “I just don’t _understand._ Why doesn’t Tim want to see me? I want to be there for him.”

                “Oh, Master Jason. I know it’s hard. Master Timothy is healing. I can’t tell you from what or how, that’s up to him to decide to tell you, but he is healing. Give it time, Master Jason.”

                “Okay, Alfred.” Jason sounded so defeated. “I guess you should give this to Tim.”

                “Thank you, Master Jason. I’ll let you know how he’s doing.”

                Several minutes passed before Alfred knocked on the door. Tim guessed he was waiting for Jason to leave. “Master Timothy? Would you like some breakfast?”

                “Okay,” Tim mumbled and pulled himself to his feet and opened the door again. Alfred walked in and placed the tray on Tim’s bed before setting his laptop and notebook next to it and reclaiming his chair. Tim trudged over to the bed and pulled the tray into his lap.

                “I’m sorry about startling you Master Timothy. Master Jason has desperately been wanting to see you.”

                “S’okay Alfred,” he mumbled. “I know my…reaction…must have been a little unexpected.”

                Alfred shook his head. “Not at all, Master Timothy. It is completely understandable.”

                Tim stared up at him, slightly shocked.

                “Would you be alright with me bringing him up to deliver your lunch?” Tim hesitated. “I promise that I won’t leave the two of you alone together. I will be here the entire time.”

                “Promise?” Tim asked, resembling a frightened little boy more than the strong man Alfred knew he was.

                Alfred’s eyes softened. “I promise, Master Timothy. Now,” he began, sitting back in his chair. “I’ll have you know things are looking up for our little grass patch.”

                Tim perked up at the news. “Yeah?”

                “Most certainly. Slowly, but surely, the color is returning to the grass. It’s still quite yellow, but does not appear to be on death’s door anymore. Of course, you are the first person who’s heard such joyous news. I intend to share it with everyone else now that you know. Actually, it was not that difficult to save the news for you first. Everyone, except Master Jason as you saw, are still asleep from their patrols last night.”

                Tim snorted, surprising himself with the sound. He quickly bowed his head to hide the blush that was spreading across his cheeks. “U-um, so how did patrols go?” Tim asked, desperately trying to distract Alfred from what just happened.

                “They went well. No difficulties that I’m aware of and everyone came back in one piece with minimal damage. The case that Master Bruce is working on is progressing as best as one would expect. It’s a bit of slow progress, but I’m sure that with the amount of passion everyone is putting into it, things will be resolved rather quickly. Although, I’m sure they’d all like to have your help on it when you’re able. Have you thought about returning to patrol, Master Timothy?”

                Tim shook his head. “No and it’s probably not a good idea for me to. My identity is compromised and we can’t risk me being in the field.”

                “Well I must say that if that group has evidence of your persona and they intended to reveal it they would have done so already. I think that it would be beneficial for you to patrol and might even lead to those hooligans getting captured sooner. We all know they deserve it.” Alfred finished his short tirade with a huff. “I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds Master Timothy. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and I should not force it.”

                Tim stared at the butler. “No…that’s all right Alfred.”

                Alfred gestured to the tray. “Are you finished?”

                Tim nodded and handed it to the other man. “Hey, Alfred, do you think you could bring me some clean sheets so that I can change the bedding?”

                “Of course. I’ll bring some up after I deposit this in the kitchen. If you leave your current bedding in the hallway I will pick that up and put it in the wash.”

                “Thanks, Alfred.”

                “You are quite welcome.”

Alfred left the room and Tim immediately got to work on his bed. He placed the laptop and notebook on his desk and returned Alfred’s chair there as well. Tim pulled off his comforter and threw it to the floor. He added the mattress sheet to the pile on the floor as well. Tim then pulled his two pillows from their pillowcases and added that fabric to the others. He gathered up the pile and placed it in the hallway outside his door. Picking up the clean set that Alfred had already managed to retrieve for him. Tim would never understand how Alfred was able to do that. The man was a whole other kind of superhero.

Tim made his bed quickly thanks to years of Alfred’s tutelage. He sighed, grateful for the feeling of clean sheets between his fingertips. Rather than climb back in the freshly made bed, Tim went over and sat at his desk for the first time in probably weeks. He hadn’t been back to the manor often as it was with his college commitments and if he wasn’t there, Tim would crash at one of the safehouses that he had around the city. He placed the laptop to the side, knowing that there wasn’t any work that he wanted to do with that. He stared at the notebook and bit his lip. He knew that he needed to write and let things out, but that didn’t make any of it easier.

Tim opened to a fresh page in his notebook. He took a steadying breath and began.

 

_His name ~~was~~ is Presley. I don’t know how he figured it out, but somehow he knew that I was Red Robin. He had me kidnapped at Gotham U. I’d just gotten back from class and was looking forward to having some time alone. I actually noticed them following me after I left the academic building and was planning to make my escape out my dorm window. They were prepared though and cut off my exits. _

_I thought I’d be smart and throw them off by hiding in the ceiling. I was on the phone with Jason when that happened. I thought that I was going to be fine and hung up even though he was on his way to help. I should’ve waited. If I’d waited up in that stupid ceiling just a little bit longer then I probably wouldn’t have gotten caught. I was stupid. So stupid. And the look on Jason’s face when he saw me getting shoved into that van. He looked terrified. And heartbroken. He’d probably be heartbroken if he knew what happened._

_Back to Presley. God, he’s such a fucking asshole. He’s wealthy and probably went to some stupid prep school. I mean I went to one, but that’s not the point. I’m not an asshole. Okay, maybe a little bit of an asshole, but not like him. I WILL NEVER be like Presley. I would never take advantage of someone. Okay, maybe I would, but not like HIM. I wouldn’t rape someone. I wouldn’t feel so insecure that I’d need to derive some form of power from such an atrocious act._

Tim sat back in his chair with a sigh and rubbed at his forehead. This wasn’t going exactly how he wanted it to, not that he knew how to deal with this. He felt as though he was talking in circles and not getting to the heart of the matter. Tim was going to get a headache at this rate. He stood from the desk and began to pace the room. He had to handle this and it wouldn’t do to put it off.

After making a circuit and a half, Tim stopped at the opposite end of the room from his desk. He stared at the notebook lying open to the most current page. He had control over this. He started this and damn it all if he wasn’t going to finish it. Tim grit his teeth and clenched his hands into fists. He started walking, well stalked really, back towards his desk, intent on getting his experiences on to paper when a knock on his door stopped him in his tracks.

Tim allowed his hands to relax and walked carefully over to the door. He opened it slowly and tensed. Alfred was there with lunch, Tim honestly hadn’t realized how much time had passed, but standing behind him was Jason. Tim had to breathe deeply to quell the rising panic within him. Tim stepped to the side and allowed the pair to enter. Jason seemed concerned, but that was probably because of how uncomfortable Tim knew he must look.

Tim took the tray from Alfred and sat down on the floor to lean against his bed. He wasn’t about to get crumbs on the clean sheets he’d just been given. Alfred retrieved Tim’s desk chair and rolled it over to where Tim was sitting. Tim was so focused on not having a panic attack that he missed Alfred’s eyes linger on the notebook that was still open on his desk. Jason sat cross-legged on the floor as Tim had, but sat further away, giving him space that he was incredibly grateful for.

“Well, Master Timothy,” Alfred began. Tim somehow found the strength within him to eat the food on his plate despite his movements being stiff and awkward. “You were quite curious about everyone’s patrols this morning, how was your evening Master Jason? I’m sure Tim would be delighted to hear what you accomplished.”

“U-uh yeah. Sure Alfred. Well, things were a little quiet last night. I made sure all of the usual ladies were safe on the streets and weren’t being given too much trouble. Things have been a little better for them lately.”

“No doubt the result of the work you’ve been putting in,” Alfred commented.

“Y-yeah.” Jason blushed and Tim wondered if he felt as awkward as he was feeling about this whole thing. “I stopped a couple of muggings, you know, the usual stuff. I was trying to find some leads for the case that we’re all working on, but nothing panned out last night. So, yeah…” Jason trailed off and cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably.

Tim continued to eat as best he could. It felt as though he had to fight to get each piece of food down his throat. He was worried that something was going to get stuck there. At least then, he might die and be able to avoid this awkwardness that everyone but Alfred seemed to be experiencing.

“Master Timothy, now that I’ve added your bedding to the wash is there anything else that you would like cleaned?” Alfred asked, completely at ease.

Tim shook his head and went back to eating. It wasn’t as though he was going through a large number of clothes right now. All he wanted was to wear sweatpants and hoodies.

“All right. I have informed Masters Bruce, Richard, and Damian about the improvements that our little grass patch has made. All of them seem very pleased with the progress and are glad to hear that things are looking up.”

Tim finished the last of his lunch and washed down any remnants with the glass of water. Alfred stood up and took the tray from him. Jason hastily followed him to the door while sneaking glances back at Tim who was still propped up against his bed. When Tim heard the door click closed he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His shoulders relaxed and he buried his face in his hands which had started to shake.

Tim sighed and pushed himself to his feet. He rolled the chair back to the desk and stared at the notebook that was still open to his most recent entry, or his most recent attempt at an entry. Tim ran his hands over his face and sat down. He picked up his pen and glared at the paper. Resigned, he began to write.

 

_There was so much pain. Pain I’d never experienced in my life and I never want to experience ever again. I thought I was going to be split in half honestly and I just wanted it to stop. If they weren’t abusing my body then they were torturing me with that stupid electric collar. It almost makes me feel bad for people in Arkham Asylum. Almost. They made their own choices that put them there. I didn’t choose to put myself in this situation._

_Ah, I’m rambling again. They broke me. I thought I’d be able to escape, but they staged these…I wouldn’t call them tests, even though Presley seemed to think it was some weird way to test my loyalty to him. Not that I have any loyalty towards him. Fucking dick. He was basically staging an opportunity for me to escape, but it was rigged so I never made it out of the building._

_I think that might’ve been the worst part. He gave me that little bit of hope that I could save myself and then just ripped it away. Made me think I was weak and alone. He kept telling me that I was replaceable, that I deserved the treatment that I was getting, and that no one was coming to look for me because they didn’t want me. That I wasn’t worth saving._

_The sad (?) or terrifying part of it is that I believed him. I became so hateful towards myself that I believed everything that was coming out of his mouth. And you know what else is terrifying? I think I might still believe him. There are times when I can’t escape the words. The statements that were said with such conviction. They fill up every part of my body and seem to scream at me, trying to reinforce what Presley claimed. It’s like what he put me through wasn’t enough. Like he wanted me to come back here, but still feel as though I was still there in that warehouse. Still under his influence._

Tim sat back in his chair and stared at what he just wrote. He hadn’t even realized he’d come to that conclusion until after the ink had hit the paper. How could he have let himself reach such a low point? Tim threw the pen aside and closed his eyes, sighing in defeat. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved to have added more to the journal or ashamed. Somehow, it felt wrong that he wasn’t crying. This was a painful experience for him, but he just sat there staring at the paper in front of him, emotionless.

Tim closed the notebook and stood from his chair. He walked into the bathroom and started the shower before stripping out of his clothes. He hesitated for a moment, but threw them into the laundry hamper. It was probably time for him to put something clean on anyway. Tim stepped into the shower and let the water cascade down his body. He stared at nothing, robotically going through the motions of washing himself. First the shampoo. Wash and rinse. Then he grabbed the washcloth and lathered up the soap. He rubbed it in circles over his skin before returning to his place under the spray and letting the water wash it down the drain.

Tim blinked suddenly aware of a fierce knocking on his bedroom door. He looked around as though seeing his surroundings for the first time and wondering how he got there. He shut off the water and stuck his head out of the shower stall.

“Yeah?” he called.

“Master Timothy? We have your dinner if you’re hungry.” It was Alfred.

“Just a minute Alfred.” Tim grabbed a towel and hastily dried his hair. He rubbed the material over his skin quickly before hanging it up to dry and returning to his bedroom. He opened the drawers to the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers, shimmying into those quickly. Tim grabbed a red shirt and pulled that over his head before searching for a pair of sweatpants. Finding what he was looking for, Tim hopped over to the door while forcing his legs into the legs of the pants.

Tim opened the door and found Alfred and Jason standing there just as they had earlier that day. Strangely, Tim didn’t feel panic rise up inside him at the sight of Jason. Jason must’ve noticed as well because he gave Tim a tentative smile. Tim stepped to the side and allowed both men to enter. This time Jason was holding the tray. After shutting his door, Tim took the tray from Jason and took his seat leaning up against his bed. Alfred rolled the chair back over to join them and Jason sat slightly closer to the group then he had earlier that afternoon.

“Sorry to disturb you in the shower, Master Timothy. I had no idea that you would be occupied.”

Tim just shrugged at Alfred’s words and started to eat the food set in front of him. He was probably in there longer than he needed to be anyway, the Manor’s excellent water heater didn’t allow for a realistic perception of time. Tim felt Jason’s eyes on him, but he ignored it, refusing to look at the other man. He couldn’t, not yet.

“Well,” Alfred cleared his throat. “How are things going with your studies? I assume that you’ve kept up with your work.”

Tim shrugged again. It was obvious that he was trying to get him to talk, but Tim was just not in the mood. He also wasn’t about to tell Alfred that he was ignoring his schoolwork. That would just earn him a scolding form the butler.

“You haven’t done any work, have you?” Tim looked up sharply at Jason and narrowed his eyes, stopping mid-chew. Tim expected to see a smirk on his face, but Jason just looked sad. Tim hastily looked away and went back to eating. “You should, you know. So that you don’t fall behind in your classes.”

“Master Jason is correct, Master Timothy. Your studies are important and I’ve always known you to value them. It would be a shame for you to let something like that go to waste. Promise that you’ll work to get caught up while you’re here?”

Tim stared at his half empty plate and nodded reluctantly. Perhaps it would offer him a distraction until he was able to go back to school. Not that he was probably going to be able to go back anytime soon. Not with Presley out there. Tim pushed the tray from his lap, suddenly not hungry anymore.

Alfred looked at the tray sadly, somehow aware of why Tim had pushed it away. “Well then, Master Timothy, we’ll leave you to your work.”

Alfred stood from his chair while Jason picked up the tray. Tim watched them leave and finally heaved a sigh when the door closed. He looked over at his desk and groaned, pushing himself to his feet. He might as well start making lists of work that needed to be finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well look at that. Tim's improving. And he actually changed his clothes and took a shower without having to rub his skin raw. Way to go bb. 
> 
> Ugh, AO3 likes to mess with my formatting, but I don't feel like going through and fixing the weird indent issues. I'm just happy that the italics and text strikes stay, so eh, I'm willing to deal with it.
> 
> Let me know what you thought! I love reading your comments and they never fail to make me smile! :D 
> 
> If you want to chat over on Tumblr or poke me or tell me interesting facts about yourselves, it's tumblr.com/my-one-love-is-music
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!! 
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo so you know how I said I was going to update We're Immortals first? Well, I couldn't stop thinking about this chapter my last couple of days in Japan and I just had to write it when I got back. 
> 
> Japan was awesome, but sadly now I'm back to the real world where I have an actual job that sucks and an internship that's awesome, but I don't get paid for that. Funny how that works, huh? 
> 
> Anyway, I'm super excited about your thoughts on what happens in this chapter. I was worried my pacing was a little too fast, but you'll just have to let my know what you think. Deal? Also, thank god for cocythe who blesses me with their excitement about new developments and chapters. Ugh I am unworthy of your love.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ~MOLIM

                _It was cold and dark. Everything was tinted red and an alarm was blaring. Tim looked around. The door to the room he was in was open. He had to get out. He didn’t know why, but he had to get out. Tim ran from the room and into an exceptionally long hallway. There were people running towards him from one end where there seemed to be a descending set of stairs. He looked around. This place was evil or had at least been made evil and he didn’t belong here._

_Tim turned and ran. There were stairs leading up to another floor, hopefully a roof. Tim sprinted up the stairs hoping his bat training wouldn’t fail him now. He heard the men give chase and grinned. He wasn’t about to let them catch him. They couldn’t catch him. Tim reached the top of the stairs and burst through the door._

_Tim whirled around in circles, feeling the hope die inside his chest. He fisted his hands in his hair. This couldn’t be happening. This could_ not _be happening. He was free. He made it to the top of the stairs and should be free. There was no way Tim could be in Presley’s office._

_Someone chuckled behind him. Tim whirled at the voice. “Tim, Tim, Tim. I told you, you can’t escape me.” Presley walked over to him. “You’re mine and you always will be. No one else wants you. No one else will ever want you. This is where you belong. This is what you deserve.”_

_Tim hastily backed away from his captor. “N-no. You’re wrong! Everyone was so happy when I came back. They’d been looking for me. Jason was looking for me.”_

_Presley followed Tim step for step. “No. They only made you think that. They don’t want you. They never wanted you.”_

_Tim sank to his knees, head clutched in his hands. “NO! Stop lying to me!”_

_“I’m not lying Tim.”_

_Tim lashed out. “You are! You have to be! That can’t be true. It can’t be.”_

_Presley kneeled down and took Tim’s chin in his hand. “You’re mine, Tim. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t still be wearing the collar.”_

_Tim’s hands flew up to his neck finding the metal circlet around him. “NO!” A sob tore through his chest._

_Presley chuckled and raised the remote for the collar. He pressed the button with his thumb and Tim-_

                Tim bolted up in bed, chest heaving at the sound of knocking. He frantically looked around the room. It was his bedroom. He was safe. Everything was going to be okay. He was safe.

                “Tim? I have your breakfast.” It was Jason. That was odd. Usually it was Alfred who spoke.

                “J-just a minute.” Tim swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. He shook a little with each step, but gained confidence as he moved across the room. He took a deep breath before opening the door to find Jason, and only, Jason standing there with his breakfast.

                Images started to flash behind Tim’s eyes and his breathing picked up. _Jason was looking for me._ Tim couldn’t take his eyes off Jason. He was standing there, as if nothing was wrong. As if Tim didn’t _know. They only made you think that._ He started to back away from Jason. Tim’s legs wobbled and he fell to the floor. He couldn’t breathe. _Why_ couldn’t he _breathe?_ Jason was in front of him now, he was saying something. Tim just shook his head. He didn’t know, he didn’t know. He just wanted to breathe. Tim thought he was sobbing. He didn’t know he could suffocate and cry at the same time.

                Jason gripped his chin and forced his face up. “Tim, listen to me.” Somehow Jason managed to break through the wall of silence. Tim shook his head. “Yes, Tim. You’re having a panic attack. You need to match my breathing.”

Tim looked up at Jason, tears streaming down his cheeks and tried to match Jason as he took slow breathes. He was having trouble slowing down his erratic rhythm and was quickly becoming frustrated.

Jason took Tim’s hand and put it over his heart, allowing Tim to feel the steady beat underneath. “Tim. You can do it. Come on, Babybird. Calm down. Deep, slow breathes.” Jason emphasized his sentence by reinforcing his rhythm underneath Tim’s hand.

Tim focused on the movement of Jason’s chest underneath his hand. He twisted the fabric in his fist and slowly began to calm down despite the tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Are you feeling better?” Jason murmured.

Tim just looked up at him. He forced his fingers to let go of Jason’s shirt and pulled away, wrapping his arms around himself. “Y-you should probably go.”

“Tim-“

“No, really. I’m fine. Go. I’ll eat my breakfast and Alfred can pick up the dishes later.”

Jason could see Tim already pulling in on himself and he felt anger rising up within him at this whole situation. “Fuck that, Tim!” Tim looked up at him, startled. “You just had a panic attack. I’m not about to leave you alone! So let me help Tim. If you won’t talk to me, then just let me be here for you.” Jason paused, chest heaving. He closed his eyes and pulled his temper back. “I love you, Babybird,” he added softly.

Tim just stared at him as a fresh wave of tears poured down his face. Jason reached out a hand and tried to brush them away. Tim just shook his head and started to sob.

“H-h-h-h-how??” Tim asked. He looked at Jason, eyes pleading. “H-h-h-how c-could y-y-y-you l-l-love m-me?”

Jason cupped Tim’s face in his hands. “Because, Tim, you’re amazing and beautiful. You have a brilliant mind that no one else can rival, you’re quick witted and always have a comeback for my snark. You’re one of the best fighters I’ve ever encountered and have incredible bo staff skills. Despite all of that, you’re a huge nerd. Like, a really fucking huge nerd. You get this spark in your eye whenever you talk about tech stuff and start drooling over the latest development because you’re so passionate about it all.

“You’ve seen way too many sci-fi movies and T.V. shows and can quote a ridiculous number of lines. There are times when you don’t take care of yourself and forget to eat while only managing to survive by drinking coffee. But sometimes I really like that because then I get to cook food for you. You always make the cutest noises when you’ve gone too long without food. And then, when you’re done eating and are starting to feel the effects of a full stomach, I get to hold you close and cuddle with you in bed while you sleep.

“So, really Tim. There’s nothing that could prevent me from loving you because you’re so worth loving. I’m amazed by you every day because somehow, in this really fucked up world, you’ve found it in your heart to love. You’re still able to love your friends after everything you’ve been through. You’ve found a new family. You’ve found the capacity to care for me and that will never make me stop loving you. I will fight tooth and nail to keep you safe and happy because that’s the least of what you deserve.”

Tim crawled into Jason’s lap after he finished his declaration and held the other man tightly around his middle. Jason clutched Tim tightly, afraid that if he didn’t hold on tight enough, Tim would push him away, or worse, disappear again. Tim clawed at Jason’s shirt, openly sobbing and desperate to feel whole once again. Jason just held him that much closer and started running his fingers through Tim’s hair.

Tim’s sobs began to subside after a while and his breathing evened out once again. Tim closed his eyes and went still, simply allowing himself to exist there in the moment for a bit. He breathed in Jason’s scent after going so long without it and hadn’t realized how much he’d missed this. Missed him. Especially after everything that had happened.

Realization dawned on him and Tim began to fidget, embarrassed by what he’d just done and the vulnerability he’d shown. Jason loosened his hold and looked at Tim curiously. Tim took the opportunity to scoot away from Jason. He drew his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them.

“Sorry,” Tim mumbled.

“Sorry?” Jason questioned. “Tim, you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m happy to be here for you in any way that you need me. Now,” Jason turned and pulled the tray of food from where he’d set it on the floor. “Time for you to eat some breakfast.”

“’M not hungry.”

Jason gave Tim a completely deadpan expression. “Yes you are.”

Tim looked up sharply and opened his mouth to say something when his stomach grumbled. Loudly.

Jason smirked and pushed the tray towards Tim. “Eat.”

Tim sighed reluctantly and shifted into a cross-legged position. He pulled the tray up against his legs and picked up the bowl of fruit and a spoon. He hesitated a moment before taking a bite. Jason relaxed after Tim began eating and moved to mimic how Tim was sitting. He watched him eat for a while and the careful way he was taking bites of his food, nervous and uncertain.

“So, Babybird,” Jason started, making Tim pause. “I think it’s about time we get you out of this room. I can’t imagine after so many days there’s anything incredibly interesting about staring at your walls.”

“I have plenty to do in here. I have homework and research and…other things…” Tim trailed off, thinking of the journal sitting on his desk. He turned back to his breakfast, cutting into the small stack of waffles sitting in the middle of the plate and coated perfectly in butter and syrup.

“Tim you can’t stay in here forever. You could at least go out on patrol if you won’t go out as yourself.”

Tim shook his head while chewing another piece of waffle. “I can’t Jay.” Tim paused, realizing that was the first time he’d used Jason’s nickname since he came back. “M-my identity’s been compromised. It’s not safe. For me or anyone else.”

Jason watched Tim eat for a few moments. He heaved a sigh. “I swear Tim. I _will_ get you out of this house sooner or later to come on patrol with me.”

Tim pushed the now empty tray back to Jason. “Well you might be waiting a while.”

Jason picked up the tray and stood. “We’ll see about that, Babybird.” He turned and walked out, leaving Tim alone once again.

Tim huffed and sprawled backwards across the floor. This was not how he expected his morning to go. That had actually been the case a lot lately. Things hadn’t exactly been going in his favor. Tim closed his eyes. It’s hard to believe that he was able to sit and have a conversation with Jason. He supposed it helped that he’d spent probably the good part of ten minutes sobbing in his arms. Tim was really having a hard time understanding all of this. Not to mention the fact that Jason wanted him to go out and patrol with him.

Tim scrambled up from the floor and started to pace. What was he supposed to do? And why did things have to be so difficult? Tim stopped in front of his desk. Maybe writing about this would help. After all, it’s not like he could go out and get a second opinion on this. Tim sat down in his chair and flipped the notebook open. He grabbed a pen, uncapped it, and stared down at the paper in front of him. He sat back in the chair and twirled the pen between his fingers.

“Fuck it,” Tim said, sitting forward and putting pen to paper.

 

_I had a really weird morning today. For one thing, I woke up from this god-awful nightmare about ~~Pres~~ he-who-must-not-be-named. Looks like I was right about that whole being-free-but-still-under-his-influence thing. And then, when I go to answer the door thinking it’s Alfred and Jason with breakfast, I open the door to find it’s just JASON standing there with my breakfast. Like, WTF? Alfred, I thought we were bros? Never mind. Ignore that. _

_Anyway, I don’t even know what I’m writing anymore. I feel like I’m just spouting bullshit. ANYWAY, after opening the door and seeing Jason just standing there I ended up having a panic attack. And Jason witnessed that and then I started crying about how he couldn’t love me and turn into a sobbing mess. Somehow, after all of that happened, I managed to eat and talk with Jason._

_And for the life of me I can’t figure out what this means? Am I healing? I guess I have to be healing in order to calmly eat and converse with him. But he wants me to go on patrol. With him. I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t, but… I just don’t know. I think I might want to, but what if… I mean they know who I am. I just don’t know anymore. Should I take the chance and go out or should I wait until they’re caught. But then, who says they’ll be caught? I’m sure no one else is looking for them._

Tim closed his eyes and covered his face with both of his hands. It’s not like he was looking for them either. He had to do something about this. He looked over at his laptop and pulled it over to him. Tim opened the device and powered it up. He quickly launched a web browser and started searching for any Gotham-based web profiles that were associated with a Presley. A knock sounded on his door, but Tim ignored it in favor of flipping through the various social media sites. The first few Twitter and Facebook profiles didn’t provide anything, but there could only be so many Presleys in Gotham.

A knock sounded again. “Tim? I have your lunch.” It was Jason.

“Not hungry,” Tim abandoned another Facebook profile and let out a low growl. There had to at least be a Linkedin page or something.

“Tim, you need to eat. It’ll help.”

“If you want to help, bring me a cup of coffee. Actually, make that the whole pot.” Tim smirked when he finally pulled up a Twitter page that had several very clear pictures of the face that he hated.

“Tim?!” Jason squeaked.

Tim rolled his eyes, but pushed out of his chair and stalked over to the door. He threw the door open and was faced with a gaping Jason. He rolled his eyes again and pushed past the other man who was still holding the tray of food that was supposed to be his lunch.

“I’ll just get it myself,” Tim grumbled. He hurried down the hallway and made it to the stairs before Jason managed to follow him. He had a lot of work to do and he wasn’t about to waste any time.

“Wait! Tim!” Jason hurried after him, tray still in hand.

Tim ignored the other man and slipped down the stairs. He walked past the living room and ignored the shocked looks that he was getting from Dick and Damian who were seated on the couch. Not so much Damian, but definitely Dick. Tim pushed through the kitchen door and walked over to the coffeepot. He pulled the coffee grounds from the cabinet and got to work, oblivious to Bruce and Alfred who were now frozen in place, Bruce at the kitchen table and Alfred standing next to him.

“Master Timothy,” Alfred began slowly. “I would’ve been happy to bring you some coffee if I’d known you would’ve liked some.”

“Thanks, Alfred, but it would’ve taken too long.” Tim grabbed the largest coffee mug they had, which honestly wasn’t big enough, in his opinion. He waited impatiently as the coffee brewed and drummed his fingertips against the countertop. Unbeknownst to him, everyone was exchanging uncertain looks behind his back.

Tim huffed when the pot was finally finished and poured himself a cup. He moved to replace the pot in the coffeemaker, but paused to regard his mug. Tim shrugged and walked out of the kitchen with both mug and coffeepot in hand. Everyone watched him go in a silence that Tim ignored. He had more important things to do.

Upon returning to his room, Tim kicked the door shut and moved back to his place at his desk. He set the coffeepot down and took a long swig of coffee. He’d missed the stuff after so many days. Tim resumed his seat and looked back at the Twitter page. Now that Tim had a last name, the real work could begin.

Several hours and another pot of coffee later (Tim got the same looks as before when he emerged from his room to go get a refill) and Tim had some serious information on one Presley Gregory Jones. He’d uncovered a Facebook, Instagram, and Linkedin page belonging to the 26-year-old Columbia University Law student. His dear old dad obviously had no qualms with funding Presley’s education and only had the best in mind for him during his primary school days. He did, indeed, go to a prep school.

Presley didn’t have an exceptionally large number of followers on Twitter, most of them seemed to be friends or school-related, but it wasn’t a small number by any means. The same could be said of his Facebook, which was also littered with photos of him at academic events or parties. Never with alcohol or drugs though, he obviously had to keep it clean for the parents and anyone who might be wanting to hire him in the future.

Presley had good enough grades to make it into Columbia for both his undergrad and graduate years, but it wasn’t anything impressive, simply above average. That’s Mr. Jones’s influence for you. Presley’s Linkedin didn’t list any previous work experience either. Never had to have a job or internship then. Tim also found no criminal record. Not a single blemish. Not even a speeding ticket. It really all gave him the perfect cover for what he was really doing. Tim would need some hard evidence to be able to convict him, not just a he-said, he-said reasoning.

Tim leaned back in his chair. He could make it all very simple by getting the cops there when Presley was in the middle of his dealings. It couldn’t be too difficult, just a simple smuggling bust. But that would mean getting back out into the field. Was Tim ready for that? He sighed, suddenly feeling very tired.

Tim looked at the time and realized that everyone else had already left on patrol. It seemed that they hadn’t bothered him for dinner since he was so busy. Or they were too shocked by what was going on to do anything. Or they thought he was back to normal. Tim wasn’t sure where he was at the moment, but he really needed to do something. A need to keep moving he supposed. He stood and walked over to the door, sticking his head out into the hallway to listen. Everything seemed silent in the house. Alfred was most likely monitoring in the Cave. Or cleaning. Either way he’d soon find out.

Tim left his door ajar and made his way down to the grandfather clock. He entered easily and descended the steps into the Batcave. Alfred was nowhere to be seen, but Tim thought nothing of it. He made his way over to the training area and picked up one of the bo staffs. Staff in hand, Tim centered himself in the middle of the mats. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

Tim snapped into his stance upon opening his eyes, feet spread wide, left hand fisted at his hip, and right hand pointed towards the floor gripping the top of the bo loosely as the rest of the rod crossed behind his back. He whipped the staff from behind him with a quick flick of his wrist and immediately began to twirl it in intricate combinations with both hands. He sliced the end of the staff through the air to his right, mimicking an attack on an unsuspecting goon. Tim flicked the left end that was pointed towards the floor upwards and to the side as though knocking a person’s legs out from underneath them, sending the bo spinning into the air.

Tim threw a reverse roundhouse behind him and caught the bo once again before snapping it back into its starting position. He felt as though he was actually fighting now. He could almost imagine where everyone would be. He sliced through the air with deadly perception, knocking imaginary guns out of hands and covering himself with high and low blocks if someone got too close. Tim unsettled the balance of others and added punches when necessary. There was only one nonexistent person left. He was unarmed, but the type that would stupidly not go down without a fight. Tim imagined him running towards him and launched himself into a flying roundhouse effectively taking out his face. He landed on one knee with the staff positioned behind him, breathing more labored than when he began. He smirked, pleased that the days he’d spent in bed hadn’t hurt his abilities too much.

“Tim?” Jason’s voice spoke up from behind him.

Tim turned to find him watching him intently from the edge of the mat. Bruce, Dick, and Damian were standing further away, obviously wanting to give them space, but also curious as to what was going on.

“I’m in,” Tim said.

Jason looked even more confused. “In? For what?”

“Patrol. I’ll go on patrol with you tomorrow night.”

Jason’s eyes went wide before he grinned wolfishly. “It’s about time, Babybird.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, pacing? Good? Bad? I hope this chapter was worth the 3 week wait. I really enjoyed writing Tim's bo staff practice and hope that made as much sense to all of you as it did me. :3 I'd also been thinking about the beginning of this chapter for weeks as well and actually wrote that before I left because I didn't want to forget.
> 
> Feedback me, please! I love all of you who do and your comments never fail to make me smile. 
> 
> If you'd like to chat over on Tumblr, it's my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks for reading! Love you all loads. :D
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Stares into the camera like on the office* I'm looking at you, N52 writers. Read it and weep. 
> 
> So, I had a bit of a struggle getting through this chapter. This was one that I knew I was going to end up writing from the beginning and I just could not seem to find the words. I hope that all of you like it and it's not incredibly stupid. 
> 
> For those of you who know about the first ever JayTim week this year, I am wholeheartedly participating and spent the past few days distracting myself from this chapter by writing 10k words for the first prompt. I really wish that I could share it with all of you know, but we both have to wait until August so get pumped for that. 
> 
> I hope you actually like this chapter and I'm not deluding myself with it's quality.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ~MOLIM

Tim had been a nervous wreck the entire day. He thought it would be no big deal when he announced that he’d be returning to patrol the night before, but several hours had passed now where his stomach had twisted itself into knots. Jason had been the most excited out of everyone and hadn’t left him alone the night before, no matter how embarrassed it had made Tim. Bruce and Dick were both a little wary and kept asking him if he was really okay to return and if he thinks he should. Tim appreciated their concern, but he really felt like this was something that he had to do. Damian just didn’t care and strangely enough Tim appreciated that.

                He didn’t want this to be a big deal. Tim just wanted to slip smoothly back into his role as Red Robin and go out and beat up some bad guys. His brain had other thoughts, however. It continuously enjoyed pestering him about how he was actually going back on patrol and how much of a _big deal it was_. Tim tried to distract himself from the butterflies that formed in his stomach when he thought about suiting up again. He tried focusing on the homework that was piling up, but gave up on that when his brain kept flitting from subject to subject. He would be able to focus for a few moments, but then he’d start to squirm with impatience and pent up energy.

                Tim quickly gave up his efforts to focus on school work and just how behind he was. He opened up his email and checked to see how behind he was with W.E. work. He groaned at the amount of emails in his seemingly overflowing inbox. Several of them looked to be notices from the events the week before that Alfred mentioned Bruce had to go in and deal with. Tim deleted all of those without a second thought, thankfully cutting his inbox down to half of what it was. He settled himself in for some lengthy reading that would most likely result in him groaning about how incompetent some people could be.

                Tim barely made it through a handful of emails before he caught himself obsessively checking the clock to see how much time had passed. He buried his head in his hands and groaned. How was he ever going to make it through this day?

                “Focus, Tim,” he growled. Tim turned back to his computer screen and opened up the next email. He read through the attached report quickly and shot off a response, moving on. He made it through two more reports before pushing away from his desk with a huff.

                Tim stood from his chair and began to pace the length of his room. He supposed he could do a gear check since it had been several days since he went out on patrol. He turned towards his closet and took a deep breath before striding over to it with purpose. Tim pulled the door open and finally looked at his Red Robin uniform once again. He felt his chest tighten and tried to swallow around the lump that had formed in his throat. He reached out a shaking hand and stroked the material, irrationally afraid that he was going to break it.

                Tim started to check over the uniform for rips and tears with the utmost care. He treated the Kevlar suit reverently, as though it were some incredible piece of treasure that he’d been searching for over the course of a decade. He supposed that is what he’d been doing over the past several days. Tim had lost himself. He knew he’d lost himself as soon as he came back. But he’d been working to find himself again. This was part of who he was and Tim hadn’t realized how much he’d needed it back in his life. How much it had been missed.

                After finishing his suit inspection, Tim pulled one of his utility belts down and sat cross-legged on the floor with it in his lap and started going through the various pouches. He thought back to when he started working with Bruce and how he didn’t do it for himself. He did it to keep Bruce sane and now it meant everything to him. Being Robin gave him some of the best years of his life and when that was taken away he was heartbroken. Yet he refused to give up. He developed his own persona and donned the Red Robin cowl, something that was his and his alone.

                Tim sighed, looking over the array of tools and weapons around him. He picked up his collapsible bo staff and cradled it in his hands. This was his weapon. This was how he fought. Tim remembered the first time that he was able to pick up a bo. He instantly felt the connection with the tool. It was so powerful, but designed not to kill anyone. He could use it with deadly precision and yet it never took a life.

                Tim began to repack his utility belt, re-checking both of his grapple guns to make sure there weren’t any frays or kinks in the line that could cause a break during patrol. He tossed the belt onto his bed and stood. Tim walked back over to his computer and sat down heavily in his chair. He contemplated trying to do homework again, but figured that would be fruitless, settling down to accept several hours of torture. That is, until a knock sounded from his door.

                “Tim?” Jason asked.

                “Yeah, what’s up?” Tim leaned back and stretched in his chair, groaning as the kinks in his back popped.

                “I have some dinner if you want to eat before going out on patrol. I figured we could talk a bit about tonight while we’re at it.” Jason sounded hesitant and uncertain.

                “Sure,” Tim said, getting up from his chair. He glanced at his bed and picked up the utility belt to return to the closet. Once the door was shut he walked over to the door and opened it, standing back for Jason to enter. Jason walked in with a tray piled high with food and settled himself so he was leaning against Tim’s bed.

                Jason started to arrange everything when Tim sat down next to him hesitantly. “I hope you don’t mind me eating with you. I did bring enough food after all.”

                “Yeah, no problem.” Tim looked over the spread that Jason had brought. There was an array of fruits and vegetables along with some strips of steak and what looked to be a pan of baked ziti. Jason held out a plate with a little bit of everything for Tim to take. “Thanks.” Tim looked down at the food, vaguely aware that Jason hadn’t immediately begun to fix his own plate and was watching him. He picked up his fork and stabbed a bit of the ziti. He blew at the steam that was coming from the dish and took a bite. Tim groaned at the perfect blend of pasta, tomato sauce, and cheese.

                Jason began fixing another plate for himself and Tim saw that he had a small smile on his face. Tim watched as he loaded his plate with pasta and steak leaving only a little room for some extra veggies. He sat back and happily cut into the steak before scooping some pasta up with it.

                Realization dawned on Tim when he thought about Jason’s actions. “Jason,” said man turned to look at him with a smile. “Did you-did you make this?”

                Jason’s smile disappeared and he flushed. He fidgeted a little, gaze flitting to and from Tim’s face. “Y-yes.”

                “Jason?” Tim waited until Jason was able to meet his gaze. “Thanks.”

                “Right. So anyway…about tonight.”

                “Yeah…tonight.”

                “Nervous?”

                Tim sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe. I think it might be a mixture of nervousness and excitement.”

                Jason nodded and the two of them ate in silence for a few minutes. “Do you think you’re ready?”

                “Yeah. I’m definitely ready to get back out there and do something.” Tim looked down at the half-empty plate sitting in his lap. “We’ll just have to see how it goes since I haven’t been out since before…before I was taken.”

                Jason sat back and chewed slowly on a bit of steak. He sighed, heavily. “Tim…”

                Tim looked over, hating the look he found in Jason’s gaze, pity and sadness. “I don’t want to talk about it Jason.”

                Jason snapped his mouth shut and looked away. The two of them went back to eating in silence. Tim focused his attention on the peppers and broccoli dotting his plate, not feeling up to eating them. Jason looked down at his plate and over everything that he’d set out.

                “Dessert?” he asked, trying to sound cheerful.

                Tim nodded and watched as Jason opened a container of brownies and held it out to him. Tim took two and set one on his plate, taking a large bite out of the one he held in his hand. The brownies were still warm, making Tim quirk an eyebrow. He watched Jason out of the corner of his eye as he took a bite out of his own brownie. Tim suspected that he’d made these himself as well.

                After finishing up their brownies Jason began packing everything up and putting the containers of food back on the tray, but not before Tim could snag one more brownie. Tim stood and walked Jason to the door to open it for him since his hands were full. Jason paused in the hallway outside of Tim’s door.

                “It’s getting pretty late so if you want to suit up and meet me in the Batcave we can leave for patrol. I just have to put this back in the kitchen and then we can leave.”

                Tim nodded. “I’ll be down in a few,” he said and shut the door behind him. Tim sighed and walked over to his closet, pulling the doors open once again. He stuffed the rest of the brownie into his mouth and pulled his uniform from its hanger, spreading it out on the bed. Tim stripped off his shirt and sweatpants and grabbed a jockstrap from his dresser, using that to replace his boxers. He gingerly eased into his suit, allowing the material to glide over his skin and settle back into place.

                After all the straps had been secured, Tim looked down at himself and splayed his hands across the material almost reverently, unable to believe that he’d really gone so long without suiting up and patrolling. He picked up his gauntlets and utility belt, buckling the latter around his waist before fitting the former on his hands. Finally, Tim picked up the black domino and, with slightly shaking hands, fit it over his eyes. Tim went and stood in front of his mirror and looked over himself. He nodded in approval before heading down to the Batcave.

                Thankfully, Jason was alone in the Cave when Tim arrived. The two of them wordlessly placed com links in their ears and silently agreed to take their bikes. Tim followed closely behind Jason as they sped out of the Cave and onto the streets of Gotham. The night was slightly cool which Tim found incredibly refreshing after holing himself up indoors for so long. The two of them weaved a path through the streets until Jason began to slow and signaled to Tim the alley they’d be storing their bikes in for the night.

                Tim breathed in deeply once he reached the rooftop with Jason only a few steps behind. The two fell into step with each other and began making their way across rooftops, checking alleyways for any sign of trouble. Gotham seemed to be holding its breath, not wanting to reveal the terrible secrets that were hidden within quite yet. It wanted to protect the people who meant harm and would do bad things to those who really needed protecting.

                A scream tore through the air and Tim launched himself in its direction. He stopped at the edge of a rooftop and looked at the sidewalk below him where a woman was desperately clutching her purse to her chest as a man held her at gunpoint. Without hesitation, Tim dropped from the rooftop and landed in a crouch, startling the woman and gunman. Tim rose from his crouch and stalked forward predatorily. He pulled his bo staff from his utility belt and expanded it with a flick of his wrist.

                The gunman swung his arm to aim at Tim, obviously frightened by how badly his hand was shaking. “Y-you! What are you doing here?”

                Tim cocked his head, stopping a few steps away. “I believe I should be asking you that.” Before the other man could respond, Tim snapped the front end of his staff upwards, effectively launching the gun out of the perp’s hand and into the air. Without looking up, Tim was aware that Jason had caught the airborne gun, preventing the owner from retrieving it.

                Before the man could even attempt to run away, Tim swept his feet out from under him and had his wrists zip tied behind his back. It wasn’t the most challenging encounter that Tim could’ve been faced with, but he was satisfied with it nonetheless. He nodded at the woman before darting into the alleyway and up the fire escape to return to the roof.

                “Nice job there, Babybird,” Jason said, pocketing the gun he’d been holding.

                Tim eyed where he stored the weapon, but decided not to say anything. “It wasn’t anything challenging, but a nice way to start the evening.”

                “Shall we continue then?” Jason asked, the grin audible in his voice.

                Tim replaced the bo in his belt. “We shall.”

                The two vigilantes flitted from rooftop to rooftop, keeping an ear out for any sounds of distress or possible disturbances. Most occurrences were few and far between, which Tim wasn’t sure how he felt about. He knew that he was glad to be doing something, but everything they’d done so far had been pretty simplistic. Tim wanted the chance to actually fight and test the limits of his body against an opponent. He wanted a chance to truly team up with Jason and work together to take down a larger threat lurking on the streets of Gotham.

                The distant sound of gunshots captured Tim’s attention and he grinned, immediately taking off in the direction the sound was coming from. Jason was close on his heels, obviously as excited for some action as he was. When the two reached a construction site, it was obvious that a gang fight was happening.

                “I’ll take the left and you take the right? Meet up in the middle?” Tim asked, grinning at Jason.

                Jason pulled out his guns. “Absolutely. Whoever gets there first, wins!”

                “Duh!” Tim huffed while racing off across the rooftops to make an entrance behind the opposite group. He shamelessly launched himself from the roof, pulling out and extending his bo in mid-air before landing amongst a mass of bodies. They didn’t take notice of him at first, their attention solely focused on the opposing gang. He swung his bo gleefully, aiming for stomachs and feet, searching for any sensitive body part that had been left exposed and unbalancing those who tried to run away.

                Once he was noticed, Tim moved with more care. He weaved through the bodies, almost as though he were made of water. At one point, he ducked a handgun being swung in his direction and brought down his bo hard on the man’s chest. Tim heard the unmistakable sound of a collarbone breaking, sending the man to the ground writhing in pain, he winced a bit, but continued his path. He heard someone moving up behind him and sent a reverse roundhouse kick to the side of their face, knocking them to the ground.

                Tim jumped over the barricade that many of the gang members had been hiding behind and joined the fray that was building in the center of the site. He could see Jason several feet away from him, knocking men aside as though they were nothing. Tim grinned and renewed his assault with vigor, adding more punches and kicks to the mix. It was exhilarating, being back in the field. Especially when he got to fight like this and use his body to the best of its abilities. Use it the way he had trained it to be.

                All too soon, Jason and Tim were standing in the center of the lot, chests heaving. Surrounding them were gang members in various states of consciousness, some, unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it, writhing in pain from severe injuries that would need medical attention. Others were simply knocked to the ground and had passed out from the assault.

                “Zip tie contest?” Jason asked.

                Tim collapsed his bo and replaced it in his belt, considering Jason’s words. “Go!” he said, running back to his side and pulling out the zip ties. He chuckled happily when he heard Jason cursing frantically and pulling out his own ties to start binding people. Tim worked his way through his side quickly and scrambled up to sit on the roof and watch Jason, allowing his legs to dangle over the side and swing them back and forth.

                “You cheater,” Jason grumbled when he finally rejoined him and pulled Tim to his feet petulantly.

                Tim couldn’t keep the grin from his face if he tried. He smacked Jason’s chest. “You just suck.”

                Jason pulled off his helmet so Tim could see the pout that adorned his face. It only lasted a moment, before his face split into a grin. “That was a great fight though.”

                Tim twirled happily. “It was amazing!”

                Jason caught his arm and smiled softly. He bit his lip and Tim’s forehead wrinkled in confusion for a moment. Jason’s hand slid up to cup Tim’s neck and he started to lean in, making Tim’s stomach twist nervously. Before Jason could close the distance, Tim pulled away and cleared his throat awkwardly. Jason scratched the back of his head, unsure of how to proceed.

                “Ow!” Tim exclaimed when Jason smacked him in the chest. “What the hell, Hood?!”

                Jason was already running across the rooftop. “Tag! You’re it!” he yelled over his shoulder.

                Tim stood there dumbly for a moment wondering what had just happened. He shook himself realizing that Jason was trying to diffuse the awkward situation from the slipup. He grinned and started chasing after the older man, intent on winning this game of tag as he had their other competitions earlier that night.

                Jason already had some distance on Tim because he wasn’t expecting the game, but Tim was pushing his body to the limits in order to catch up. Each time he saw the distance between the two of them closing, Tim spurred himself to go faster and made his legs pump harder, willing him to catchup. He used the jump from one rooftop to the next to gain that extra bit of distance and overtake Jason.

                “Tag!” Tim shouted victoriously while smacking Jason’s arm without slowing. He continued to use his momentum to now increase the distance between him and Jason, intent on not getting caught.

                “Oh, it’s on now!”

                Tim cackled at the petulant tone that Jason was using. He heard Jason’s heavy breathing through the com link and willed himself to maintain his pace, unsure of how close the other man was and not willing to risk a glance back. Tim was just about to launch himself across to another rooftop when a hand wrapped around his arm and pulled him backwards.

                “Tag!” Jason sang as he wrapped Tim in his arms and spun him around.

                Tim laughed at how ridiculous Jason was and stumbled when the other man let him go. Jason took off again and Tim followed along quickly. He was keeping the distance much smaller this round now that he hadn’t been staring at Jason dumbly as the other man ran off.

                A scream tore through the air. Tim whipped his head towards the sound and immediately changed direction, forgetting about the games that he’d been playing moments ago. He found the alley quickly. There was a group of men below who looked as though they had someone cornered.

                “Hood?” he questioned through the com.

                “What’s up, Red? Where’d you go?”

                “I heard the scream and turned towards it. I’m a few blocks east of the buildings we were on. There’s a group that looks like they have someone cornered. I’m going to go in and you can just join me when you get here,” Tim relayed, watching the situation below him carefully.

                “Right-o. I’ll be there soon.”

                Tim pulled his bo from his utility belt once again and jumped from the rooftop without hesitation, purposely making enough noise when he landed to garner attention. The group whirled at the sound, taking up various defensive and attack stances with weapons varying from guns to knives.

                “Now, what do we have here?” Tim asked, twirling his bo lazily in his hand. One man holding a knife charged at Tim. Tim smacked the weapon from his hand and, twisting his bo, cracked the end against the side of his head, sending the attacker crumpling to the ground. The rest of the group exchanged nervous looks, obviously not expecting Tim to take one of them down so easily.

                A dark chuckle emerged from behind the group where Tim had assumed someone had been cornered. He cocked his head and waited to see what they would do next. He wasn’t disappointed. The group parted and Tim felt panic begin to bubble up in his chest. Thoughts of being replaceable and alone began to swirl through his brain, attempting to drag him down into a dark abyss. He forced the feeling down as best he could, but that didn’t manage to do anything for his breathing that had become shallow and tense.

                “Babybird? You okay?” Jason asked through the com, obviously hearing the change in Tim’s demeanor.

                “Well if it isn’t Red Robin.” Presley stopped in front of the group he had assembled in the alleyway.

Tim fell back into his fighting stance despite the nerves and adrenaline working through his system. He was determined to not let Presley beat him this time. He worked to control his breathing, having mild success.

“What do you want?” Tim was surprised at how strong his voice sounded, managing to keep his persona intact.

“Babybird? Don’t do anything stupid. Wait for me, okay?! I’ll be there soon. Just wait!” Jason ranted through the com. Tim could tell that he was starting to panic, but he wasn’t about to lose this fight, even if it took everything that he had.

Presley stuffed his hands in his pockets. “What am I doing here? I’ve come back to rightfully reclaim what’s mine.”

“Well you’re going to have to keep looking. Nothing here belongs to you, Presley Jones.” Tim heard Jason’s muttered curses at the announcement of the name.

Presley’s eyes widened, before narrowing dangerously. “So you know who I am. Congratulations,” he snarled.

“Red, I’m almost there. Please, please, please don’t do anything stupid and wait for me,” Jason pleaded desperately.

Tim allowed himself a smirk. He was ready this time. He swung his bo in front of him and pushed himself forward, charging at Presley and the rest of his group. Before he managed to clear even half the distance between the two of them, something sharp latched onto his arm and felt like it was trying to sear the flesh off. Tim fell to his knees as electricity pulsed through his veins. He was vaguely aware of Jason’s shouts across the com and watched as Presley approached.

“You do belong to me and I won’t let you forget that so easily this time.”

Tim’s vision started to blur and he swayed back and forth briefly before collapsing on the ground, unresponsive as Jason continued to shout and plead over the com.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go again. But Tim's not alone this time and he's not about to go down without a fight. 
> 
> For those of you who suspected something was going to happen on patrol, congrats! You were right! 
> 
> Let me know what you thought.
> 
> If you'd like to find me on tumblr: my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> Love you all loads!
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were some parts in this that I wasn't sure I entirely liked, but then I just thought "Fuck it. I'm gonna just post this shit." So if there are places where my writing sucks, I'm not sorry because I just wanted to get this out and I know everyone's been waiting for it. 
> 
> And I only made you wait a little over a week for this, so there's that. Many of you were absolutely pissed about the cliffhanger and were desperate to know what was coming, but I'm evil, okay? And those were the types of reactions that I wanted.
> 
> I hope you like the update and if you didn't know, I posted a quick 8K word story a couple of days ago because it was Pikachunicorn's birthday. So if you want to read that, it's called Hey, Babybird and I think it's super cute to be honest. But, hey, I'm the one who wrote it. ;)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

Jason’s POV

 

                Jason was seeing red. He was more than certain that someone was going to end up dead tonight if he had anything to do with it. He was not about to sit back helpless and watch Tim be hurt again. No. This time he was ready and he was going to take Tim back and make sure they never even had the privilege to consider seeing Tim’s face again.

                Jason was surprised by how quickly the group was able to move through the streets of Gotham. He did suppose that was because they had a car, but Jason wasn’t concerned with trivial details. He shouldn’t have let Tim engage with them. He knew it was bad when he heard his reaction over the com. Tim had gotten tense and agitated. If he didn’t know any better, Jason would think that Tim probably could’ve had a panic attack if he hadn’t had the situation to ground himself and give him something to focus on.

                Jason pulled his grapple gun from his belt and leapt from the rooftop. He used the grapple to pull himself across the yawning chasm between the buildings. Jason landed and rolled, using the momentum to absorb the impact that probably would’ve killed his knees otherwise. It was probably a bit reckless, but Jason wasn’t going to let Tim get taken away again. He was going to get his Babybird back.

                Jason watched as the car pulled up in front of one of the many warehouses near the docks. He crouched at the edge of the rooftop and dropped into a squat. He observed the driver exit and walk around to the rear door. The driver pulled open the door and helped pull Tim out. Jason didn’t know what they’d hit him with but it must be something good to be keeping him out like that. Two men carried Tim in through the main door of the warehouse and Jason saw Presley, well he assumed it was Presley since he was the most well-dressed of the group and he wasn’t doing any of the work, follow them inside. The door shut behind the group and Jason didn’t hesitate to activate his com link to call B and the rest of Gotham’s vigilantes.

                “Red Robin’s been kidnapped again. It looks like the same people from last time,” Jason snapped over the frequency.

                “Affirmative, Hood. I’m on my way now. Don’t engage,” B responded.

                “Be there in a few!” came Dick’s reply. He sounded too cheery for the situation, but Jason wasn’t going to judge.

                “Tt. Of course he got himself kidnapped again, but I suppose I can take time to make it over there.” Jason rolled his eyes at Damian, but at least he was coming.

                Jason switched back to the frequency that he and Tim were sharing earlier that night. He saw movement in one of the windows and a light switched on, illuminating an office. Jason pulled out his binoculars and pointed them through the office window. The group had carried Tim inside and set him down in the middle of the rug. That other guy, Presley, Jason reminded himself, not that he was about to forget about him anytime soon, walked over to Tim and bent down.

                Jason saw Presley nudge Tim with his foot. When he didn’t respond, the other man bent down and ripped Tim’s domino off, throwing it to the side. Jason saw Tim jerk away and winced himself at the thought of the spirit gum that had stuck the mask there in the first place. Jason turned his attention back to the scene before him and watched as Tim scrambled to his feet. Jason could hear some words being exchanged over the com, but it wasn’t coming through clearly. He could, however, see how angry Tim was. He stalked towards Presley and Jason imagined that Tim said something particularly nasty because Presley slapped him.

                Jason squeezed the binoculars in his hands and grit his teeth. He heard the sound of skin connecting to skin all the way through the com. Jason switched back to the other frequency.

                “If none of you get here within the next minute, I’m going in alone,” Jason grit out.

                “Hood. Do not engage. I repeat, wait until backup arrives. Do not engage,” B said. He was trying to use the Batman voice to get Jason to do what he wanted, but Jason wasn’t a kid anymore. He made his own decisions.

                “You have forty-five seconds.” Jason switched frequencies again. Desperate to hear something from Tim that would signal he’s okay and somewhat in control of the situation until backup arrived. Jason supposed that he could probably talk to Tim, but he really didn’t want to risk Presley knowing about it and taking away their only way to contact each other at the moment.

                Presley was saying something and pointing. Jason saw Tim’s eyes go wide and his face pale. He started backing away and got in a fight with the guards. If only Jason knew what they were saying. Tim put both of them down easily despite them having both height and weight on him. Jason wanted to cheer and he could see how angry his little bird was about all of this.

                Jason was ready to just sit back and watch Tim take care of all of this when Presley slapped him again. He pulled Tim by his hair and slammed his head against the desk. Jason felt horror flood through him as Presley leaned over him. The words that were whispered into Tim’s ear came through the com crystal clear and had him ready to put a bullet in the other man’s head.

                Jason switched frequencies again. “I’m going in.”

 

~

 

Tim’s POV

 

                Tim woke sharply. It felt like the skin has just been ripped from his face, which he really hoped it hadn’t. He looked up and found Presley standing over him. Tim scrambled to his feet and reached for his bo staff…that was currently missing, because he was without a utility belt. He scowled at the fact that his belt had been taken, but knew he didn’t have to have it.

                Tim stalked towards Presley. He was ready to be done with this man. He’d already suffered so much at his hands and he wasn’t about to experience that again. Tim knew what he looked like. He’d seen himself like this many times. Holding his body for what it was-a weapon. He neared Presley, practically got up in his face and snarled. Presley looked down at him as though he was nothing. As though he were the worst thing imaginable.

                “You disgust me,” he growled.

                Presley’s eyes narrowed and he pulled his hand back, smacking Tim across the face. “Careful how you talk to me, Tim. I might not be as lenient with your punishment as I was last time for disobeying me.”

                “You can try and break me all you want, but it’s not going to happen.” Tim balled his hands into fists, ready to hit something.

                Presley smirked. “Are you sure about that, Tim? I know how much you loved the collar that you wore.” Presley stepped back and pointed at the desk.

                Tim saw the shock collar sitting unclipped on top of Presley’s desk. He felt all of the blood drain from his face and backed away from the man in front of him. Tim turned to run and was faced with the two bodyguards who’d brought him there the first time he’d been kidnapped. He wasn’t about to let them get in the way of his escape this time.

                Tooth un-crossed his arms and made to grab Tim, but he ducked and leaned back on his hands. Tim twisted both of his legs around one of Tooth’s and pulled, causing the man to lose his balance and fall backwards. Extricating himself quickly, Tim brought the heel of his foot down on the man’s groin sharply. Leaving the man as he was, he scrambled to his feet and turned on Nail who looked absolutely pissed about what he’d just done to his partner.

                Tim rushed forward, ducking the too-slow punch that Nail sent in his direction. He sent an uppercut to the man’s stomach and followed that with a knee to the groin. The man sank to his knees as tears welled in his eyes and Tim turned away from them in triumph. He figured that would keep both of them down for a while as he dealt with their asshole of a leader. He set his sights on Presley and felt ready to make the man feel some semblance of pain that he had. Tim stalked forward slowly and absolutely hated the calm expression that the other man wore, as though this was all going according to his plan.

                As soon as Tim approached, Presley slapped him again, not that Tim gave the stinging sensation in his cheek much thought. Before Tim could retaliate, Presley fisted a hand in his hair and slammed his head against the desk. Tim pushed back against the hold he had on him and fought to free himself. Presley stuck one of his legs between Tim’s legs and placed his weight on top of him, leaning over him in order to reach his ear.

                “You’ll never get anything better than this, Tim. This is what you deserve. You’re worthless and replaceable and it’s time you learned that, once and for all,” he ground out harshly in Tim’s ear.

                Tim slumped against the desk, feeling utterly powerless. Memories overwhelmed him. Pain. The inability to care for himself and be the person he needed himself to be. But then again, no one needed him, did they? He was completely alone and no one would be coming for him. He’d be forced to endure this again until they got tired of him. Until they threw him out like everyone else did.

                Tim could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. Desperation and despair were swirling up inside of him like a tornado. There was no way that he was going to be able to escape this. He’d be stuck forever and just when he was starting to get better. Just when he was starting to come back to himself and who he was. But there was nothing. There was no hope for him. Only the promise of pain and suffering. A miserable existence that he was certain he’d escaped from.

                The tears began to streak down his cheeks and Tim was dimly aware of Presley pulling and tugging at his uniform. What did it matter really? It wasn’t like it would be anything he hadn’t experienced before. Tim felt the chill of the air hit the back of his thighs and he squeezed his eyes shut.

                “You’re filthy. This is where you belong. Nothing more than a worthless whore and a slut. This is the treatment you deserve,” Presley hissed in his ear.

                Tim barely managed to quell the broken sob that wanted to break from his chest when the window shattered.

                “Get the FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!” Tim’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Jason’s voice.

                Presley jumped away from Tim, sneer adorning his face as he looked over Jason. “And who might you be?”

                Jason stalked towards Presley, hands balled into fists. “I’m the Red Hood, something you should’ve considered before kidnapping my boyfriend and spouting lies at him.”

                Presley laughed as though the idea of Tim having a boyfriend was completely absurd. “So what if I did? What are you going to do about it?”

                Jason struck out an arm and picked up Presley by his stupid, perfectly ironed collar and lifted him from his feet. Presley may have had an inch or so on Tim, but he was nothing when faced with Jason. “What am I going to do about it? I’m going to take care of you scum and then I’m going to take my boyfriend home, pull him into bed, and sleep.”

                Presley struggled against the hold Jason had on him and scowled up at the man. “You think you can lay a hand on me-“

                “I think,” Jason said, giving him a particularly hard shake and making his way to the door of the office. “That I can do whatever the fuck I want. And what I’m going to do now, is take you out into the hallway and put a bullet into your fucking head.”

                Presley’s eyes went wide and he struggled against Jason’s hold. “L-look man, I don’t know what I did to piss you off-“

                Jason narrowed his eyes and shut the door behind him quietly now that they were in the hallway. He wanted to do this privately as much as he wanted to give Tim time to collect himself after everything that had happened. “You don’t know what you did to piss me off? Well for starters,” Jason released his grasp and let Presley fall to the floor in a heap. “You kidnapped my boyfriend and put all of that nonsense in his head. You invalidated him as a person and made him doubt himself because you thought it would be fun to play with the big kids.”

                Jason pulled out the special gun that he kept in his thigh holster. It was the only one that he carried that still had actual bullets in it. He saved it for the really disgusting individuals and Tim had been proud of him for not having used it in a while. “And now, I’m going to give you exactly what you deserve.”

                Presley started scooting backwards across the hallway, but Jason just followed him. “Please man, I’m going to college to be a lawyer! I have so many plans, things that I haven’t gotten to do yet!”

                Jason felt nothing for him. “You should’ve thought about that before getting involved with some gang or whatever. You should’ve thought about that before kidnapping someone and raping them just because you could. Rapists don’t deserve to live.”

                Presley started waving his arms frantically. “I swear man, I’m not a rapist-“ Presley’s reply was cut short with the sound of a gunshot. Jason hit him in the center of his forehead. He watched as his body slumped backwards, eyes glazed over, and blood pooled beneath his head.

“Like hell you’re not.” Jason felt nothing for him and turned on his heel, stalking back into the room to retrieve Tim. Jason walked in quietly, wanting to give Tim some space after what happened and refrain from startling him. He’d righted his suit once again and was gripping the edge of the desk he’d been pushed into. Tim had heard Jason come back in and was trying to stifle his sobs, but he wasn’t having any success.

                Tim was a whirlwind of emotion. The things that Presley had dredged up were still bouncing around in his brain, but so was the idea that Jason had come back for him. Jason hadn’t given up on him. He’d defended him and taken care of Presley because of what he did, but now Jason also knew that he’d been raped. He knew what they did to him. Feelings of worthlessness conflicted with those of hope and feeling loved.

                Jason paused a few feet from where Tim was leaning on the desk. “Tim?” he questioned.

                Tim turned his head sharply and looked at Jason through his tear-filled eyes. “J-jason?” he asked hesitantly.

                Jason hated how broken Tim sounded. It wasn’t his fault that this had happened to him and he didn’t deserve the treatment that he’d gotten. “Presley won’t be bothering you anymore. How about we get out of here?”

                Tim sniffled and nodded. Jason picked up Tim’s domino from where it had gotten dropped on the floor and handed it to Tim who was mildly successful in re-adhering it to his face. Jason looked at Tim for a few moments and pulled him into a tight hug, needing the contact before they left. Tim was tense at first, unsure of how to react, but he slowly relaxed into Jason’s hold and let the other man hug him.

                Jason pulled away and steered Tim towards the broken window. He shot his grapple to the opposite building and wrapped an arm around Tim’s waist, pulling him close. The two of them swung to the opposite building and settled on the roof.

                “I told you to wait for me,” Batman said, stepping out of the shadows.

                “I couldn’t. Tim needed help and I wasn’t about to leave him in there.” Jason sighed. “Just take care of the cleanup? Please? I really think Tim should get taken home.”

                Tim was busy staring at the ground and avoiding looking at anyone. His sense of shame was already starting to creep in. Not only was he not able to prevent himself from getting kidnapped a second time, but it was also by the same person. And even after everything he’d done to try and get better, he was still at the mercy of Presley. The things he said and the things he did would be a scar marking him for the rest of his life.

                Batman sighed. “Names, Hood. Names.”

                Jason’s lips quirked up into a sort of half-smile. “Thanks, B.”

                Batman wordlessly fired his grapple to the warehouse and swung through the window that Jason had broken earlier. Jason tightened his grip around Tim’s waist and the two started picking their way across the rooftops. Jason was happy that the area they were in was close to one of his safehouses. He’d be damned if he had to take Tim all the way back to the Manor.

                The journey was quiet between the two of them. Tim was lost in his own thoughts and trying to work through everything that had happened and Jason was just focused on getting them somewhere safe where they could be left alone. After dropping down onto the fire escape outside his window, Jason disarmed his security and pushed inside, holding the window open for Tim who crawled in after him. Tim moved through the apartment and entered the bathroom as Jason closed the window and reset his security system.

                Tim stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and pulled of his domino. His eyes were bloodshot from all of the crying he’d done and there were very clear tear-streaks on his face through the grime that had come to coat him. He unhooked his cape and let that fall to the floor. Tim shut the door to the bathroom and started undoing his uniform. He watched his skin come into view as he removed each piece.

                Tim was used to the scars that covered him. They’d come from various situations and it felt strange to come out of tonight’s encounter without anything marking his skin. He felt as though there should be something there. Some blemish or bruise or scar that represented the wounds that he had gotten. Represented the pieces of himself that had been broken apart and shattered at the hands of one man.

                Tim felt too skinny. He felt too fragile. He was a vigilante. He was supposed to be strong and in control of his life. Things like this shouldn’t have gotten to him so easily. How could he have been so weak as to succumb to the pain? Tim didn’t understand. There were so many things that he just didn’t understand.

                Tim walked over to the shower and turned on the water. He waited for the water to reach a reasonable temperature before stepping underneath the spray and pulling the curtain shut behind him. Tim hung his head and braced his hands against the wall, just letting the water wash over him. It was somewhat comforting having the water running across his body in small streams.

                Tim pulled the shampoo bottle towards him and put a small amount in his hands. He lathered the soap up and began washing his hair, scraping his nails over his scalp a few times, enjoying the sensation. He leaned his head back and shut his eyes, running his hands through his hair several times to remove any remaining shampoo. Tim grabbed a washcloth and the bar of soap, rubbing that into a lather as well. He began to wash his arms and torso, watching as the dirt that had managed to sneak under his suit was washed away.

                After cleaning himself, Tim sat on the floor of the shower and pulled his knees to his chest, burying his face in the space that had been created. He felt his emotions welling up inside of him again. It wanted to drag him under and never let him go. It was almost like the grasp fear gas had, where you couldn’t see beyond the emotions and past traumas it latched onto. How was it possible to feel so worthless and unimportant? Even when Tim didn’t necessarily feel important and was just going through the day-to-day he’d never felt so unneeded and unnecessary.

                A sob tore through Tim’s chest and he didn’t bother to stifle it. He slammed his fist against the wall, upsetting the bottles that had been carefully perched on the shelves and caused them to come crashing into the bottom of the tub. He had no idea how he was ever going to move beyond this and live his life like he wanted to. He felt as though he was doomed to be treated horribly and forgotten. There honestly couldn’t be a single person out there that could legitimately care about someone like him, could there?

                “Tim are you okay?” Jason asked, bursting through the bathroom door.

                Tim looked up sharply and pulled the shower curtain back, mouth hanging open in shock and tears streaming down his cheeks. “Jason?” he asked, weakly.

                Jason’s expression morphed into one of sadness. He walked over to the tub and turned the water off. He grabbed a clean towel, one of the newer and fluffier ones, and kneeled down at Tim’s side. He unfolded the towel and wrapped it around Tim, moving it in soothing circles to absorb the water that was still on his skin.

                “Come on, Tim,” he said helping the other man up and drying his torso and legs. “Let’s get you into some clean clothes.” Jason led Tim out of his bathroom and turned left towards his bedroom. The two of them walked over to the bed where Jason had already laid out some of the smallest clothes he’d been able to find. They were in one of his less used safehouses so there weren’t any of Tim’s things there for him to wear.

                Jason picked up the sweatpants and knelt down. Tim braced himself on Jason’s shoulder and slowly stepped through the legs of the pants. Jason pulled them up and over Tim’s legs, allowing the elastic band to settle loosely at his waist. He rolled up the pants at the ankles a few times so they weren’t too long. Jason took the towel that was draped around Tim and slung it over his shoulder. He then picked up the green shirt that was sitting at the edge of the bed and pulled it over Tim’s head. Tim moved his arms robotically and maneuvered them through the sleeves.

                Jason kissed the top of Tim’s head and returned the towel to the bathroom to hang dry. When he made it back to the bedroom, he found Tim standing in the same place he’d left him. He looked vacant and lost. Almost as though he was unsure of how to proceed. Jason sighed. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but he wasn’t entirely sure of how to approach the situation either. He walked over to the bed and pulled the blanket back.

                “How about you get some sleep, okay?” Jason asked, taking Tim’s hand.

                Tim nodded mutely, still unmoving.

                Jason tugged Tim’s hand and walked him over to the bed. Tim was compliant enough, climbing into bed with little prompting, but that just made Jason worry even more. He pulled the blanket over Tim’s shoulders and kissed his forehead.

                “I’ll let you get some sleep. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” Jason flicked off the lamp and left, shutting the door behind him. As much as he would’ve liked to have stayed with Tim and just held him and been there with him, he didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or tense. Jason resigned himself to several more days of keeping his distance and settled into the couch, far too awake to be able to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, now that the trash has been sufficiently taken out...thoughts? I'm interested to know how you felt about Jason's actions, both with Presley and with Tim. And poor, Tim. He thought he was getting better, but it's never that easy. It's not just a sickness that can be overcome. He was hurt and has to learn to accept himself again. 
> 
> I can't say for sure how long this fic is going to be. I've reached the point where all the plot that I'd already planned out has happened. I was actually going to end it around here with Tim and Jason having a huge moment where they connect and heal and look forward to the future and moving on, but I feel like that the ending I'd previously planned wouldn't do Tim's character justice and would invalidate everything that he went through. So good news if you like this fic and want to see it continued, bad news if you just want it to end already, this fic will continue indefinitely until I reach a point where I am satisfied I can successfully end it, on a happy note that is, and in a place where I feel everything has been addressed and we can all walk away satisfied.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! I'm super happy with the response I've gotten. :D (over 150 kudos, can you believe it???? Thank you all so much!)
> 
> If you'd like to come think-you're-harrassing-me-but-not-actually-harrass-me ----> my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> Love ya!
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THE RESPONSE TO THAT LAST CHAPTER!!! *fans self* My god I love you guys! I'm pretty sure that was the most comments I've ever gotten on a single chapter, so thank you for that! I loved how literally everyone commented that they were so happy Presley was killed off by Jason. The two of them are going to talk about it, it just didn't happen in this chapter, but it'll be discussed next chapter. 
> 
> I was actually really unsure of how to start this chapter and became really hesitant with it, so I hope it's as good quality as my others. I usually had a plan or some sort of action that I was working towards with the other chapters and now that it's just Tim's healing process, I was a little lost in how to proceed. Hopefully this fic won't become super boring because I would feel so deflated if it did. I really don't want to fuck this up.
> 
> Sooooo....yeah. Here we go!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim blinked his eyes open, squinting at the bright light that was streaming through the window. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling and sighed. He thankfully hadn’t dreamed last night, or at least didn’t remember the dreams that happened. Tim sat up in bed and pulled his knees up to his chest. He looked around Jason’s bedroom. It was pretty sparse, the only furniture being the bed, the bedside table, and a lamp. He supposed he should be grateful that he wasn’t back at the Manor. He wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to go back there after what happened last night.

                Tim sighed and pushed the covers aside. He would’ve been happy to stay in bed all day, but his bladder was suggesting otherwise. He stood and walked to the door of the bedroom. Tim pulled it open a crack and listened. He heard sounds coming from the kitchen and assumed that Jason was probably making breakfast for himself. Hoping that he wouldn’t be noticed, Tim left the bedroom and walked the few feet to the bathroom.

                He slipped into the bathroom with no problem and shut the door behind him. Tim barely spared any attention to what he was doing and finished quickly. He pulled the bathroom door open and turned back to the bedroom when Jason called out to him.

                “Tim?” he hollered from the kitchen.

                Tim’s shoulders slumped and he sighed. He turned in the opposite direction of the bedroom and headed towards the kitchen. He looked over the plates that Jason had already set on the kitchen table. There were eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy, and fruit.

                Jason looked over his shoulder at him and gave him a gentle smile. “Go ahead and sit down and have something to eat.” He turned back to what he was cooking. “I’ll just be another minute.”

                Tim stared down at the table before slowly sitting down in one of the chairs. He looked over the food, but didn’t move to fill the empty plate in front of him. None of it seemed particularly appetizing and he wasn’t that hungry.

                A plate of pancakes was set down rather forcefully, startling Tim. He looked up to find Jason standing there wearing a slightly irritated expression complete with one of his hands on his hip. Without saying a word and continuing to stare down Tim, Jason picked up various plates and stacked Tim’s plate with generous portions of eggs, sausage, and fruit. He added two of the biscuits with a large portion of gravy.

                Jason took his own seat across from Tim and began to load his own plate with food. “Eat.” He stared at Tim as he took a bite of sausage.

                Reluctantly, Tim picked up his fork and speared one of the strawberries on his plate. He chewed it slowly, letting the sweet taste of the fruit wash over his tongue. He stabbed one of the sausage links next and saw a pleased expression come over Jason’s face as he continued to eat. The two of them ate in silence. Tim could even feel Jason’s eyes on him the entire time.

                “I was going to stop by the Manor after patrol tonight. Is there anything you want me to pick up?” Jason asked, standing and collecting the plates from the table.

                “Laptop,” Tim muttered. “And,” he hesitated. “There should be a black composition notebook on my desk. That too.”

                Jason nodded and started filling up the sink with warm water. “Sure thing, Babybird.”

                Tim watched Jason’s back as he washed the dishes. There were still a couple of plates with extra food sitting on the table. Not knowing what else to do, Tim took the plates over to the counter and pulled out two storage containers. He scooped the extra fruit in one and the leftover pancakes in the other. He set the empty plates at Jason’s elbow and, snapping the lids on the containers, set those in the fridge.

                Tim looked around the kitchen again and moved back into the living room. He curled himself up in a corner of the couch and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. He let the sounds of the apartment drift around him. Tim thought back to the night before and everything that had happened. He really had been enjoying patrol. It was nice to be back in the field and to just be with Jason again. And then Presley had fucked everything up.

                Although if Tim was being honest with himself, he probably went back into the field too soon. He’d wanted to find Presley, but he’d wanted to do it on his own terms and not be cornered or pushed around by the other man. Tim certainly hadn’t expected him to be preparing an ambush and certainly not on his first night back out on patrol. Then he’d brought him back to that warehouse.

                Tim didn’t necessarily think he was disappointed in himself for not being completely better after everything that he went through. It would honestly be a bit of a far-fetched idea to think those things wouldn’t affect him anymore, but he had no idea that the encounter would dredge up so much. When Presley had started saying those things he’d just felt so hopeless, like he couldn’t stand up to him at all. It sort of felt like he’d never left the warehouse at all. Like his freedom had all been a dream that he’d made up to help cope.

                But then Jason had come. Jason had come and found him and taken him back. He’d protected him when he couldn’t protect himself. When he was weak. Jason hadn’t given up on him. He’d gone against instructions from Bruce because he saw what was happening and he noticed. He noticed how Tim was doing and Tim didn’t know how to feel. Because now that Jason noticed and was there for him, Jason knew. He knew some of what he’d been put through during those three days he was missing.

                Tim felt the press of lips on his forehead and he furrowed his brow before opening his eyes. Jason was there, standing behind the couch and looking fondly down at Tim. Tim felt himself flush and looked away. Jason chuckled and ran his fingers through Tim’s hair before moving around the couch. He sat down in the middle, staying close to Tim, but still giving him some space. Jason propped his feet up on the coffee table and picked up the remote with his left hand, slinging his right arm along the back of the couch.

                Jason turned on the T.V. and started flipping through the channels. Tim was tense for a moment, but gradually felt himself relax into the domestic atmosphere. He watched Jason out of the corner of his and it seemed the other man wasn’t even bothering to acknowledge Tim in anyway. He honestly thought he would’ve been receiving more attention, not that he would’ve been left alone like this. Tim realized that Jason was trying to help him and froze as the though struck him. He was helping by not pushing as what would’ve happened if he’d gone back to the Manor. Tim stared at Jason, who stopped whistling when he noticed Tim staring at him.

                “Tim?” he asked.

                Tim looked away and ducked his head, letting his hair fall in front of his face.

                “You okay, Babybird?”

                Tim bit his lip and looked at Jason again. He hesitated a moment, then closed the space between them so he was tucked against Jason’s side. Tim ducked his head and missed the look of surprise that quickly morphed into one of pleasure that crossed Jason’s face. He slowly wrapped his arm around Tim who snuggled closer in response.

                Not finding anything on any of the channels, Jason pulled up Netflix and scrolled through several movies and shows before settling on some random anime that he’d never heard of before. Jason didn’t really care what they were watching. He was just happy to have Tim close and wanted to keep him there as long as possible.

                Over the course of several episodes, the two men relaxed into the couch. Jason had slouched into the cushions to where his head was pillowed easily on the back. Tim had his legs tucked underneath him and had his head on Jason’s shoulder, still allowing Jason’s arm to be draped around him. Tim was surprised at how content he was with the whole situation and being so close to Jason after so long. He was so comfortable that he could probably fall asleep if he wanted to.

                Tim closed his eyes, a small smile gracing his face, and…his stomach growled.

                Jason looked down at him and smiled. “What do you want for lunch?” he asked, sitting up to get off the couch.

                “Nooo,” Tim grumbled and hung onto Jason’s shirt.

                Jason chuckled and extricated himself from Tim. He kissed the top of his head and stood, walking back into the kitchen. Tim slumped over on the couch and stared at the T.V. where their show was paused. He listened to Jason move around the kitchen, opening cabinets and drawers. He heard the fridge get pulled open and containers taken out.

                A few moments later Jason walked back over to the couch and chuckled when he saw Tim. He set down two plates with sandwiches on the coffee table and turned to Tim, hands on his hips.

                “Are you going to sit up or am I going to have to make you?”

                Tim glared up at Jason and scowled. “Make me.”

                Jason’s smile turned feral and Tim’s stomach did a little flip.

                “Shit,” he hissed and bolted upright. Tim made to jump over the back of the couch, but Jason grabbed him around his stomach and pulled him backwards and threw him down on the sofa. Tim gasped and tried to kick out at Jason when the older man started to tickle him, but Jason easily avoided the strike.

                “Jason…stop…oh my god…Jay…Jason!” Tim forced out between fits of laughter.

                Just as abruptly as it started, Jason stopped and pulled Tim upright. He gave Tim a quick peck on the cheek and sat down next to him as he sucked in deep breaths. Jason picked up the plates he’d set down earlier and handed one to Tim. He leaned back in the cushions and propped his feet up once again. He resumed the episode they were on and took a bite of his sandwich.

                After catching his breath and giving Jason one of his best glares, Tim settled back into Jason’s side and picked up his own sandwich, letting the plate remain in his lap. He returned his attention back to the show, content with how things were going at the moment.

                Episode after episode slipped by. Lunch was eaten and somehow, not that Jason was complaining, he ended up lying stretched out on the couch with Tim on top of him. Tim didn’t know how it had happened himself. He stilled, tensing briefly, when his mind flitted back, once again, to the night before.

                “Babybird?” Jason asked, confusion evident in his voice.

                “Are we…” Tim closed his eyes and swallowed, willing away his nerves. “Are we still…dating?” he asked, voice going quiet.

                Jason shifted and wrapped his arms around Tim. “You getting taken and the things that happened to you don’t make me want to be with you any less,” Jason answered softly. “I still want to be with you and haven’t stopped thinking of you as my boyfriend.” Jason took a deep breath and tightened his grip on Tim. “I’d understand if you wanted to take some time to yourself…or-or breakup and I’d respect your wishes either way, but…”

                Tim buried his face in Jason’s chest. “No…I just…need time…”

                Jason kissed the top of Tim’s head. “Of course, Babybird. Of course.”

                Jason stared up at the ceiling for a moment before turning his attention back to the T.V. as the credits started rolling on the last episode of the series they were watching. He picked up the remote and started shuffling through other shows on Netflix. He settled on another anime and got it queued up for them to watch.

                They’d made it through half the season and Tim had been dozing on and off for at least two episodes when Jason started to rub his back.

                “What do you want for dinner?” he murmured.

                “Something that won’t force me to move,” Tim mumbled.

                Jason chuckled and reached for his phone on the coffee table, making Tim grumble at being jostled. He scrolled through his contacts and found a number for a pizza place and pressed the call button. “I’d like one large meat lovers’ pizza and one large vegetarian pizza, please.” Jason listened to what the worker was saying before he rattled off the address to his safehouse and confirmed the total when prompted. He hung up and threw his phone back on the table.

                It wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door and Jason was sitting up, forcing Tim off of him. Jason walked over to the door, grabbing his wallet that was sitting in the bowl on the hall table. He opened the door to find the pizza guy standing there and pulled a twenty out of his wallet. Jason traded the bill for the pizza and waited as the guy pulled his change out and put it in Jason’s hand. The two parted and Jason kicked the door shut with his foot. He walked back to the couch and set the boxes on the table.

                Tim rubbed at his tired eyes and opened the box that contained the veggie pizza. He pulled out a slice and leaned back into the couch cushion. Jason rolled his eyes at him and walked into the kitchen, pulling two cans of soda from the fridge. He resumed his place on the couch and handed a can to Tim, opening his own and taking a sip of the carbonated drink. He opened his pizza box and pulled out a slice, taking a generous bite.

                Their evening passed as the rest of their day had gone and Jason groaned when he checked his watch and realized he needed to get ready for patrol. He patted Tim’s side where he was tucked into him again.

                “I gotta get ready for patrol, Tim,” he said, sitting up.

                Tim grumbled and moved away from Jason reluctantly. “Fine.”

                Jason chuckled and handed him the remote. “Don’t finish this without me.”

                Tim watched Jason move into the bedroom to suit up. He turned his attention back to the T.V. and stopped the episode they were in the middle of and started to scan through the other titles on Netflix. He scrolled down to the documentaries, searching for one he hadn’t already seen. Finding nothing he was really interested in, Tim settled on some B-rated ‘80s horror flick. He scooted over to the corner of the couch that he’d occupied at the beginning of the day and curled up against the armrest.

                Tim watched as Jason walked back through the living room and to the window leading to the fire escape. He disarmed the alarms and slipped out, giving Tim a small wave as he left. Tim stared at the window and the empty fire escape beyond it. He sighed and snuggled further down into the couch, effectively ignoring what was playing on the T.V.

                Tim thought about what he’d asked Jason earlier and if he still wanted to date him. He was surprised by his own admission that he still wanted to be with the other man since he hadn’t really thought about it at all. Jason had said that he still wanted to be with him after everything he’d been through, but did he really understand what that meant? Tim wrapped his arms around himself and burrowed deeper into the cushion.

                These past few days after he’d been kidnapped, Tim had been so focused on himself and wasn’t even considering the relationship that he had with Jason. He didn’t feel guilty about that since he needed to work through his own things, but it was like the two of them were in separate places now and he wasn’t sure how to move forward. Tim felt stuck between being hopeful in having someone like Jason to be there for him and feeling like he wasn’t worth the trouble that the other man was willing to go through and had gone through for him.

                Tim sighed and rubbed his forehead. He felt a headache coming on and he really felt like he needed his journal. For once he just wanted to stop thinking and feeling and worrying. He needed something else to focus on and dedicate his energy to. Tim needed a goal. What did he even used to do in his spare time? School, work, and vigilante things, he mused. He’d avoided all of those until recently and couldn’t do much until Jason brought him his laptop anyway. It was probably time for him to go back to school too.  

                Tim flopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He looked around Jason’s safehouse, searching for something that could keep him occupied since Netflix wasn’t doing anything for him. He spotted a stack of books in one corner and looked over the half-full pizza boxes still sitting on the table. Tim rolled off the couch and got to his feet. He consolidated the pizza into one box and closed the lid. Picking up both boxes, he moved into the kitchen, throwing the empty one in the trash.

                Tim put the other pizza box in the fridge and leaned against the counter. There weren’t any dishes to do and Jason always kept his safehouses pretty clean so there wasn’t anything he could do in that aspect. He walked over to where he spotted the books and picked up the one on top of the stack, settling back down on the couch with it. He laid on his side, head pillowed on the armrest and opened to the first page.

                Somewhere along the way, the book had been dropped from his hand to the floor and Tim was staring off into space. Of course the book he’d picked up had been a romance novel. He’d gotten about halfway through it before he couldn’t stomach the declarations and pointless disagreements. Didn’t characters ever understand that there were more important things than petty arguments over whose turn it was to take out the trash?

                Tim heard the window unlatch and rolled onto his side so he was looking at the back of the couch. He heard Jason climb inside and shut the window, setting the alarms once again.

                “Tim?” Jason questioned, walking over to the couch where he was curled up. He set his helmet on the coffee table and ran his fingers through Tim’s hair. “Have you slept at all?”

                “No.”

                Jason sighed and pulled off the backpack that hadn’t been there when he left. “Why?”

                Tim shrugged not really having an answer as to why he didn’t go to bed.

                “Come on, Tim. Let’s get you in bed.” Jason picked up the younger man from the couch and held him close to his chest. Tim looked completely startled by the action and stared up at Jason. “What? You weren’t about to move by yourself, so I’m moving you for you.”

                Tim rested his head against Jason’s chest. “I don’t need you to carry me,” he grumbled.

                “Yeah, yeah. I do it because I want to, you know.” Jason set Tim on the bed where the covers were still pulled back from that morning. He pulled the blanket over Tim and went to retrieve his helmet from the living room. Jason returned, helmet in hand, and pulled open the closet door. Tim watched him as he carefully took his uniform off, stacking the body armor safely inside the closet, and switched out of a jock strap and into a pair of boxer briefs, keeping his back to Tim the whole time.

                Jason walked over to where Tim was in bed and bent down to kiss the side of his head. “Good night, Tim.” He switched off the lamp and turned to head back into the living room when Tim snagged his wrist. He turned and gave the other man a quizzical look. “Tim?”

                Tim chewed on his lip nervously. “Stay?” he asked, voice quiet. “Please?”

                Jason’s mouth dropped open in shock before breaking out into the widest grin he’d worn in a while. “Sure thing.” He bounded around the bed quickly and wiggled underneath the blanket on the other side of Tim. After a moment’s hesitation, Jason slid closer to Tim and carefully wrapped an arm around his waist. Tim placed his hand over Jason’s and laced their fingers together. He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to take him with the help of the warm weight of Jason’s arm on his body and the heat radiating onto his back from Jason’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback please? I'm trying to find the right balance of day-to-day and introspection on Tim's part. *sighs* We'll see I suppose.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who left comments on the last chapter. I was super happy to read and respond to them all and would literally get the hugest grin on my face whenever I got a notification about a new comment. 
> 
> If you want to come hang ----> my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a few days where I was tired and struggling to write so it took me a while to get this going, but yesterday was super productive and I wrote about 1,500 words which has allowed this to be published today. :)
> 
> I know all of you were super happy with how sweet and pain free the last chapter was, which means we get tears and pain in this one. Only a little bit, though... :D
> 
> This chapter also increases the length of this fic to over 40,000 words which means I have a novel! I never thought I'd ever write anything this long and I'm so happy that you've stayed with me for this crazy journey so far! Here's hoping I've got a few more tens of thousands of words in me for this fic. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                _Tim grinned, loving the feel of the wind through his hair. He was soaring over the roofs of Gotham once again and it was great to be back in action. Jason had finally convinced him to come back out on patrol after a few days since his last adventure out. Now that there wasn’t anything to worry about, he could go back to where he was meant to be:  protecting the people of Gotham City._

_Tim leapt from the rooftop he was currently standing on and fired his grapple, swinging over to the opposite building and landing on the edge. The wind whipped his cape behind him and he looked over his shoulder when Jason landed behind him. Jason nodded at him, but Tim knew that he was probably smiling behind his helmet._

_Jason took off across the roof and Tim immediately followed. A sound echoed out of one of the alleys and Jason didn’t hesitate to jump into the abyss. Tim quickly followed him and landed in the alley below, looking around. The darkness was stifling. It seemed darker than it ever should be and darker than it could ever possibly be._

_“Hood?” Tim called out._

_Someone chuckled and he whirled around. He froze momentarily before pulling his grapple from his belt hastily. He shot the hook to the rooftop above, intent on getting as far from Presley as possible. The line held and Tim immediately started his ascent, only to make it a few feet before something curled around his foot._

_Tim looked down to find Presley’s arms wrapped around his legs. The man’s eyes were red and he had the most sinister grin on his face. Tim tried to shake his legs free or kick the other man from him, but dark tendrils curled up from the abyss around him. The darkness started to swallow Tim and drag him back down. He grasped desperately onto his grapple, trying to pull himself up further._

_The tendrils hugged him tighter, the darkness engulfing him, blocking out every spec of light that was left. The darkness wrapped around him, the grapple was torn from his grasp, and faster than should be possible Tim was dragged down, down, down, until-_

                Tim’s eyes snapped open as he sucked in desperate breaths. Something was wrong. The weight was still tugging at him, trying to drag him down. Tim struggled to sit up against what was wrapped around his waist. He felt tears well up and spill over quickly. Finding he was unable to push the vice away, Tim whimpered, fearful that he’d never find escape. He clawed at the mattress and started shaking when the pressure around his waist tightened.

                “Tim?” Jason mumbled groggily.

                Tim whimpered again, still struggling to break free. He sucked in shaky breaths, trying to get himself under control enough to analyze his situation and find a way out.

                “Tim! What happened? Are you okay?” Jason bolted up in bed and the weight on Tim’s waist disappeared.

                Tim choked out a sob, finally understanding that it had only been Jason’s arm around him. He sat up quickly now that he was free of the embrace, shaking violently as the tremors passed through his body. Jason slowly moved to close the distance between them in an attempt to keep from upsetting Tim more. Tim wrapped his arms around himself and looked down at his knees as the tears continued to fall. Jason gently brushed his fingers through Tim’s hair to keep it out of his face.

                “Can you tell me what happened?” Jason asked softly.

                Tim sniffled. “Nightmare.”

                “Can you tell me about it?” Jason asked, taking one of Tim’s hands and rubbing soothing circles on the back of it.

                “We-we were out on patrol and you heard a noise and jumped into an alley, so I followed. And when I got down there it was dark. Like, really weirdly dark and I didn’t understand how that was possible because the dark was just _suffocating_. And then someone was laughing and I turned around and Presley was there. So I pulled out my grapple gun and tried getting out of there, but he grabbed me and then…and then the darkness just started to engulf me.” Tim took a shaky breath. “These black tendrils just rose above and around me and wrapped me in darkness and started to pull me down. And there was nothing I could do…it was so strong and there was no light and I couldn’t _see_ and…” Tim trailed off as a fresh wave of tears trailed down his face.

                “Shh…” Jason soothed. “He can’t hurt you anymore. Presley’s gone and there’s nothing that’s going to bring him back.”

                “B-but you came back,” Tim said, trying and failing to joke.

                Jason smiled softly. “I did come back, but that’s because someone wanted me back. No one’s going to want to bring Presley back, I can guarantee it. And if he does come back, I’ll kill him again. There’s only room for one zombie in Gotham.”

                Tim laughed weakly and gripped on to Jason’s hand where it had been holding his, betraying the sense of fear and anxiety he still felt coursing through him. He continued staring down at their hands.

                “Tim…are you…” Jason began hesitantly. “Are you mad that I killed Presley?” Jason started speaking quickly, “I know how you feel about killing and B’s rule, but I couldn’t just let him live when I saw how much pain you were in and I was just so angry and I couldn’t stand the thought of him living for another minute when he’d easily do all of those things again and…” he trailed off.

                Tim looked up at Jason through the tears clinging to his eyelashes and glanced away. “…No. And I feel like I should be guilty about that, but I’m not because you were protecting me…”

                Jason cupped Tim’s face with his other hand and rubbed his thumb over the tear tracks on his cheek. Tim’s tears had stopped and he’d finally stopped shaking, able to breathe normally once again. Tim leaned into Jason’s touch and closed his eyes.

                “I really thought you would hate me or be disappointed and I felt so guilty at the thought of causing you more pain,” Jason admitted quietly.

                Tim just shook his head, not bothering to open his eyes. “I thought you would be the one to hate me,” he whispered. He took a shaky breath. “I thought you’d find me disgusting and broken. I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”

                Jason’s heart felt like it was going to break at Tim’s admission. “Tim…Babybird…what happened to you does not define who you are. I won’t overlook it because how you’re feeling and healing is important, but you are _not_ disgusting. You are _not_ broken. You were hurt and it is okay to feel that pain.”

                Tim exhaled and opened his eyes that still glistened with unshed tears to look up at Jason. “God, what did I ever do to deserve you?”

                Jason smiled and leaned in to capture Tim’s lips in a chaste kiss. “I ask myself that same question every day.” He pulled Tim to his chest and just held him there, enjoying the presence of Tim’s body in his lap. “Do you want to try and go back to sleep or do you want me to cook you some breakfast?”

                “Can we just…stay in bed?” he asked. “Please?”

                “Anything for you, Tim.” Jason shifted himself and Tim around until they were laying down under the covers again. Tim was facing him and had curled up into his chest, fisting his hand in the fabric of his shirt. Jason had one of his arms draped loosely over Tim and his hand was rubbing soothingly at his back, trying to keep the younger man as relaxed as possible. Jason’s other arm was pillowed under his own head so he could look down at Tim.

                As the morning stretched on, neither of them left their positions in the bed. Tim was soaking up everything about Jason for once instead of the other way around. He was finding a new sense of comfort with his boyfriend, warmth already spreading through his chest as he thought of Jason in that way once again. Tim had this sense of feeling lighter that he’d first experienced a few days ago. He realized the world didn’t seem quite so overbearing anymore and there was still a place for him in it and a place that he wanted to be.

                Jason shifted and ran his fingers through Tim’s hair. “Hey, Tim?”

                Tim hummed in acknowledgement.

                “I’m going to go make something for us to eat. Is there anything you want me to bring in here when I get back?”

                Tim opened his eyes, brow furrowing. “Are we eating in bed?”

                Jason grinned. “Hell yeah we are! I don’t see any reason to move from the bed today. I can bring your laptop and we can watch shitty movies or finish that anime from yesterday.”

                Tim smiled in response to Jason. “M’kay.”

                “Great!” Jason placed a quick kiss on Tim’s forehead before throwing the covers off himself and walking out of the room. Tim snuggled deeper into the warmth of the blankets as he listened to Jason move around the kitchen. He heard several cabinets and drawers get pulled open and he even thought he caught a few pieces of some sort of tune that Jason was humming under his breath. Tim closed his eyes and let the sounds of domesticity wash over him: the whir of a mixer, the click of the oven being turned on, a pot or pan being set on the stove, and the hiss of cooking spray released from an aerosol can.

                The warm smells of vanilla and baking permeated the apartment and preceded Jason’s re-entry into the bedroom. He was carrying a tray stacked with pancakes and a pitcher of orange juice. Tim sat up and arranged the pillows behind himself and where Jason would sit. Jason pulled the backpack that he brought last night off his shoulders and handed it to Tim who pulled out the laptop. He glanced at the notebook that was still tucked safely inside and swallowed thickly before shoving the bag away and onto the floor.

                Tim powered up his computer as Jason crawled back into bed and began plating and dressing the pancakes for himself and Tim. Tim pulled up Netflix and loaded the last episode of the anime they’d been watching the day before. He settled the computer on top of the blanket between them and sat back, taking the plate that Jason offered to him. Tim leaned into Jason’s side and took a bite of his food, savoring the taste of the warm pancakes topped with slightly melted butter and syrup.

                The pancakes disappeared slowly as they settled further into the mattress. Jason stacked the dirty dishes on the tray before Tim put his head on his shoulder. Jason brought an arm around Tim’s waist and pulled him closer, rubbing circles on his hip with his thumb. Tim relaxed into the touch and sighed.

                Jason’s ringtone broke through the calm that had settled over the apartment, making the man groan. He reached over to his bedside table and picked up the device, groaning again when he looked at the caller ID.

                “What do you want, Dick?” he grumbled.

                Tim looked up at Jason who made a face and rolled his eyes, making Tim giggle.

                “Why are you asking?” he sighed and listened to Dick’s reply. “He’s doing fine. We’re both fine.”

                “Well what do you expect?” Jason took his arm from around Tim’s waist and ran his fingers through his hair.

                “Fine. I’ll ask.” Jason covered the receiver with his hand and looked over at Tim. “Dick wants to know if you’re up for going to the Manor today. Or he said he could come here. I can keep the little fairy away if you don’t want to see him.”

                Tim sighed and held out a hand. “Give me the phone.” He held it up to his ear. “Hi, Dick.”

                “Tim!” Dick screeched. “Are you okay? You weren’t out on patrol last night which is totally fine, but we didn’t get to see you the night before that, which is also totally fine, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay since you’re not staying at the Manor and-“

                “Dick,” he said, cutting of the other man’s rambling.

                “Sorry…I’m just really glad that you’re okay.”

                “I know, Dick. I know. I just need some more time before I can head back out to patrol.”

                “Can I-can I see you today?” he asked, hesitantly.

                Tim looked over at Jason who waved his hand noncommittally. “Sure, Dick. How about you stop by for lunch.”

                “Thanks, Tim! See you this afternoon.”

                “Bye, Dick.” Tim pulled the phone from his ear and ended the call. He looked up at Jason. “You don’t mind, do you?”

                Jason smiled. “Nah, I can handle Tinkerbell.” He stretched his arms over his head and groaned. “I just have to find something to make.”

                “Or you could stay here and we could order pizza,” Tim said, wrapping his arm around Jason’s waist.

                Jason chuckled. “We just had pizza last night. I’m gonna make sure you get some real food in you. No more subsisting on coffee and junk food.”

                “I don’t subsist on coffee and junk food. Coffee, maybe, but definitely not junk food,” he grumbled.

                “All right.” Jason patted Tim on his back and got up out of the bed. He picked up the tray and walked out of the room. Tim pulled his computer into his lap and exited out of Netflix. On a whim, he decided to check his university email. He expected there to be several emails questioning where he was and why he missed class and he wasn’t disappointed. Tim sent replies to all of his professors explaining that he had personal issues come up and was occupied to the extent that he hadn’t had time to tell them in advance that he’d be missing class and would hopefully be back the following week.

                Tim looked at all of the assignments that he’d have to catch up on and groaned. This was going to take a lot of work. He had several classes’ worth of reading to do. Something he wouldn’t be able to do without the books that were currently sitting in his dorm room. He also had three papers that were going to be due within the coming week. Tim opened another tab and logged into his work email and just stared at his inbox. Most of what was sitting in there were reports that he needed to look over and more data, thankfully nothing incredibly urgent. He’d even been requested to attend meetings later that week to go over the data he’d already been given.

                Tim hung his head in his hands, really regretting putting his work off for so long. He scrolled to the oldest unread email in his inbox and started compiling all of the data and reports together in one place. He affirmed each report after reading through it and added an apology as to his absence for almost two weeks. Tim checked over the data with the topics of the meetings scheduled for Friday and nodded to himself. He’d have no problems understanding the material and presenting on it if need be.

                A deep chuckle had Tim’s head snapping towards the doorway to find Jason standing there with his arms crossed over his chest.

                “I leave you alone and you’re already delving back into work. Should I bring you a cup of coffee? Or twelve?”

                Tim thought it over. “No, I think six should just about cover it.” Jason stared at Tim a moment in shock, before Tim started to grin like an idiot.

                Jason rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Damn, Tim. I was prepared to beat you up if you were being serious. Anyway, I came in here to get you because Twinkle Toes just got here and wants to see you. I thought it best to not let him run in here and jump you.”

                “I’ll be out in a minute.” Tim clicked through all of his documents and saved the information that he’d taken down and mentally made a list of everything that he still needed to do, such as type up comprehensive reports for the meeting and actually confirm his attendance there. He hoped that it wouldn’t be too big of a surprise that he’d be there after being MIA and they’d all refrain from making a big deal about it.

                Tim closed his laptop and stood from the bed. He took a deep breath before walking out of the bedroom and into the main area of the apartment. He didn’t make it very far before a very excitable acrobat launched himself at him.

                “Hi, Dick,” he said rubbing the other man’s back.

                “It’s so good to see you!” he said, hugging Tim tighter.

                Tim felt a slight spike of anxiety from the contact, but knew that this was Dick and Dick wasn’t going to hurt him. He’d have to talk to the rest of the family eventually and it was probably time to get used to the idea now that there was no outside threat preventing him from conducting his life as he normally would.

                “Alright,” Jason broke in, pulling Dick by his collar away from Tim and towards the table. “Stop suffocating my boyfriend, it’s time for lunch.”

                Tim stared at Jason who looked over his shoulder and gave him a small smile. Even though they’d talked about it the day before, Jason proclaiming Tim as his partner sent warmth curling through his chest along with a feeling of surprise and reassurance. He realized that he’d been fearful of Jason not actually meaning what he’d told him and having him tell someone else reinforced those words.

                Tim followed the two of them to the table and took the seat next to Jason so he was facing Dick. Jason had chosen to make stir-fry for everyone, probably because it was simple to make a large quantity of it and it also was a reason for Tim and Dick to eat vegetables. Tim picked up his fork and scooped up a mixture of veggies, rice, and chicken, shoving it all into his mouth. He closed his eyes in happiness, savoring the perfect mix of spices that Jason had put together. Tim glanced up when he felt Jason’s ankle twine with his own and received a soft smile as Dick immediately jumped into the conversation.

                There were times when Tim didn’t appreciate Dick’s ability to talk and flit from topic to topic, practically holding a conversation with himself, but he was incredibly thankful for that this afternoon. It gave Tim time to just be in his presence and become used to being around another person again. Especially one as excitable as Dick. Once the three of them had finished their meal, Dick looked at Tim uncertainly.

                “Thanks for letting me come to lunch, Tim.”

                Tim smiled. “No problem. It was nice.”

                Dick pushed his chair back. “Talk to you soon?”

                Tim nodded. “Sure thing, Dick. Sure thing.”

                Dick grinned and left the apartment without another word. After watching him go, Tim let out a heavy breath and tilted his head back.

                “You okay, Babybird?” Jason asked, rubbing his ankle soothingly against Tim’s.

                “Yeah, I’m okay.” He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “I should get back to work though.”

                Jason rolled his eyes and started collecting the plates together on the table. “I’ll give you until I’m done with the dishes to do work, but after that, we’re going to go back to cuddling in bed and watching anime.”

                “But, Jasooooon! I have so much work to do!” Tim protested.

                “That’s your fault for putting it off for so long.”

                Tim pouted at Jason’s back when he stood to take the dishes to the sink. “Or…you could go get some ice cream or a cake and I can work until you get back and then we can watch anime in bed.”

                Jason looked incredulously over his shoulder at Tim. Tim bit his lip and batted his eyelashes, hoping that would have some sort of effect on the other man. Jason sighed heavily and turned back to the dishes, muttering under his breath.

                “Fine! I’ll go get you some damn ice cream, but as soon as I get back you’re going to put the work away. You have plenty of time to catch up.”

                Tim felt himself flush. “I don’t actually. I have a meeting at W.E. on Friday. Several meetings actually.”

                Jason dropped the plate he was holding back into the sink and whirled around. “You’re going back to W.E.? Are you sure?”

                Tim nodded. “I’ve been away long enough, so I think it’s time. And they sort of need me.”

                Jason grinned. “That’s great, Tim! Fuck, I’m going to get you ice cream and a cake for this.” He turned back to the dishes happily, and began scrubbing with new fervor.

                Tim stared at his back before shaking his head in amusement. He pushed his chair back and headed back into the bedroom, ready to get to work once again. It would help the time pass faster until his cake and ice cream arrived as well.

                Tim sighed happily after pushing his laptop away from him. He’d gotten everything done for the meeting that needed to be done and finished going through his unread emails and sending appropriate responses when necessary. Now he just needed to get caught up on all of his school work which meant going back to Gotham U to get his books. That was something he could do tomorrow and he was pretty sure that if he tried to go today, Jason would probably tie him down to keep him in the apartment and save him from his workaholic tendencies.

                Tim looked towards the bedroom door when he heard the front door get pushed open.

                “I’m hoooome!” Jason sang.

                Tim leaned back against the pillows as he heard the rustle of bags that preceded Jason’s entrance into the room. He grinned and held up the bags.

                “Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and double chocolate fudge cake.” He set the bags on the bed by Tim. “I’m just gonna get some plates and spoons and then we are going to gorge ourselves on chocolate and watch lots of T.V.”

                Tim started pulling out the various containers and looked up when Jason didn’t move. “Well, hurry up then,” he said shooing Jason out of the room with his hand.

                Jason just smirked and walked out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely think that I'm getting better at dealing with the domestic stuff. So, here's hoping I continue to improve on that and keep you guys coming back for more. :D
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and don't hesitate to leave me some feedback. I do love reading messages from all of you and responding to what you've told me. 
> 
> If you want to chat over on Tumblr or see updates: my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are ready for a new chapter! When was the last time I updated this fic? A week ago? Sweet, I'm on a roll. Go me! 
> 
> I'm glad that everyone's loving the domesticity! These two definitely deserve it as Tim continues to heal and become more comfortable around Jason. He's gonna be doing some introspection in this chapter, so I hope you're ready for that. The journal has returned!!!! I think you're gonna get excited after reading through what Tim wrote. :D
> 
> Anyway, I'll leave you to it. Enjoy!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim groaned as he felt the bed shift underneath him. He opened his eyes to find Jason trying to crawl out of bed as carefully as possible.

                “Jason?” he asked groggily, hand coming up to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

                Jason looked over his shoulder and sighed. “I was really hoping that I would make it out of here without waking you up.” He smiled. “But I guess this is okay too.” He leaned over and started running his fingers through Tim’s hair. “I have to go out on patrol and I was going to let you sleep.”

                Tim hummed, distracted by the soothing sensation of fingers scraping at his scalp. “It’s fine. You could bring me my comm before you leave though.”

                Jason furrowed his brows. “Why? What are you going to need that for?”

                Tim cracked one of his eyes open and smiled. “So I can talk to you while you’re out on patrol, of course.”

                Jason’s mouth dropped open in shock before he broke out into a face-splitting grin. He leaned over and kissed Tim on the forehead. “Sure thing. I’ll grab it for you after I get changed.”

                Tim hummed and watched as Jason bounded out of bed and to his closet. He stripped out of his sweats and shirt and quickly put a jockstrap in place of his boxers. He pulled on the rest of his uniform slowly, ensuring everything was strapped securely before pulling his holsters on. Jason slid his feet into his boots and tied them quickly before placing his red domino over his eyes. He slid his arms through the sleeves of his leather jacket and pulled both his helmet and Tim’s comm from the shelf.

                Jason walked over to the bed where Tim was still watching him and handed the device to him. He bent over and kissed Tim’s temple. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. I expect to find you here, spread out in my bed, and completely clothed waiting for me.”

                Tim laughed. “No promises.”

                Jason hummed. “No promises you won’t do anything stupid? Or no promises that you’ll be completely clothed?”

                Tim smirked and stuck the comm in his ear. “You’re just going to have to wait to find out, now aren’t you?”

                Jason groaned and slipped on his helmet. “Don’t tease, Babybird…” he whined.

                “Just go patrol. I’ll be here when you get back.”

                Jason gave him one last look. “You better.” He walked out of the bedroom door and out of sight. Tim laughed when Jason poked his head back in the room.

                “Still here.”

                Jason signaled that he was watching him by pointing his first two fingers where his eyes were and twisted his hand so they were pointing at Tim. Tim just rolled his eyes and watched as Jason, actually, left this time. After he heard the window shut and get secured, he looked around him. The empty ice cream cartons from earlier were sitting on the bedside table along with three-quarters of a cake.

                Tim pulled himself out of bed and grabbed the empty cartons in one hand and the cake tray with his other. He walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He tossed the dirty spoons into the sink and threw the cartons in the trash, but left the cake on the counter since they’d probably finish that later. Tim activated his comm link and listened as the sounds of Gotham and vigilantism filled his ear.

                “Miss me already, Babybird?” Jason asked.

                “No, just making sure that you haven’t died yet,” he responded, leaning up against the kitchen counter.

                “Technically I have died already.” Jason’s smile was audible.

                Tim groaned, making Jason laugh. “Whatever. Don’t expect me to bring you back a second time if you keeping making jokes like that.”

                “Aww, Babybird, you were gonna bring me back a second time?”

                “You’ll never know the answer to that now will you?” Tim moved away from his spot in the kitchen and walked back into the bedroom. He picked up the backpack from where he’d pushed it earlier that day. He tugged out his journal and sat down on the bed with it, pulling his computer towards him. “Hey, Hood?”

                “What’s up, babe?” Tim heard the crunch of gravel and assumed that Jason had rolled after landing on a rooftop that he had to grapple to.

                “Do you think you could go with me to my school tomorrow? If I’m ever going to hope of getting caught up on my schoolwork, I need to actually have my books.” Tim waited for a response from Jason, but the other end of the line was suspiciously quiet. “Jason? You there? You didn’t die did you?”

                “Y-yeah! I’m here.”

                “Everything okay?” Tim pulled up one of his playlists on his computer and allowed soft classical music to swell and fill the room.

                “Yeah. I’m just…really proud of you.” Tim felt himself flush at the praise, feeling embarrassed for having asked Jason to go with him. Jason chuckled. “Wow, that probably sounds really weird, but I am. You’re already working hard to get back to work for W.E. and you’re not only going to meetings on Friday for that so you don’t leave them hanging, but now you’re going to get your school stuff and get caught up in your classes. That’s a really big step Tim and I’m proud of you for making the effort to get back out there and get back to your life.”

                “It’s not that impressive,” Tim mumbled, brushing off the praise. “I’m also going to try and go back to my classes next week. I figured I’ve missed enough and I should try and prevent myself from getting booted from college now that I’ve done all of the work to get to this point. It wouldn’t exactly look good for the Wayne Enterprises resident genius to be a college flunky.”

                Jason laughed. “They’d be idiots to kick you out. But to answer your question, yeah, I’ll go with you tomorrow. But that doesn’t mean I’m about to let you ignore everything else to get all of this work done.”

                Tim smiled. “I’m sure you won’t.”

                Jason let out a whoop of excitement that startled Tim. “Looks like we got ourselves a mugger, Red. Time to beat the shit out of a few people.”

                Tim smiled and opened both of his email accounts to check for any messages that would’ve come in that day. Strangely, he found the sounds of violence coming from the other side of the comm comforting as he sat there in the apartment. There wasn’t anything in his school email, but he had a few reports to look over in his work email and had received a few small messages that stated how happy they were to have Tim coming back to W.E. He looked through the reports and send back approvals to his researchers.

                He set his laptop to the side and pulled his notebook into his lap, flipping to the first page that he’d written when he started his personal therapy sessions. Tim thought he was probably overdue for one because so much had happened since the last time he wrote. He needed to put down into words how he was feeling about being taken again and Jason killing Presley.

                Tim’s fingers brushed over the ink that was already inscribed on the page. He traced carefully over the water stains that had smudged the lettering in some places from his tears. He flipped through the few entries that he’d written and stopped once he’d gotten to a blank page. Tim reached over the side of the bed and fished around in the backpack looking for a pen. Coming up empty, he picked up the notebook and walked back into the living room.

                “Hood? Still there?” Tim asked.

                “Still here. Do you need something?”

                “Do you have a pen in the apartment that I could use?” he asked, looking around him.

                Tim heard someone scream in the background. “Yeah, I think so. I have a junk drawer in the kitchen so that would be your best bet to check.”

                Tim followed Jason’s instructions and started pulling open all of the drawers. He made it through silver ware, cooking utensils, and a random drawer filled with clothes pins before finding the desired drawer that had several pens thrown inside. “Found one, thanks.”

                “No problem. Man, I miss having you out on patrol with me.”

                Tim sat down sideways on the couch so he was leaning against one of the arm rests and his legs were bent, allowing the journal to rest against his thighs as he wrote. “Well, technically I’m on patrol with you right now. I’m just not, you know, out on patrol.”

                Jason laughed. “I guess you’re right. You are here with me. Although I think you should be in bed sleeping.”

                “But if I was sleeping I wouldn’t be able to talk to you. And then we’d both be on different schedules and that just wouldn’t work. I mean if I’m up before you, who’s going to bring me breakfast in bed.”

                “Damn, I’ve spoiled you already.”

                “It’s your own fault.”

                “Yeah, I guess-what’s that?” Jason muttered.

                “What’s up?”

                “Looks like something’s going on at one of the warehouses. I’m gonna get a closer look and check this out.”

                “Okay, I’ll be here.” Tim uncapped the pen and put it to paper, letting the words that he needed to let go flow through him.

 

                _I know it’s been a few days since I’ve written, but a lot of stuff has happened and it’s taken a while for me to process things and start looking to get back on my feet. I went back out to patrol and I honestly missed it. I hadn’t even realized how much I missed it until I was out on Gotham’s rooftops with the wind flowing through my hair and stopping crime in the streets. Jason and I were getting along really well and I was happy with how comfortable I felt around him. He did try to kiss me once and I just wasn’t ready, but I’m glad that he understood and worked to make me feel more comfortable afterwards._

_Then, something not so great happened. I don’t know how Presley knew that I was going to be back out, but he had a trap set up for me. I felt a little panicked when I first saw him and those familiar feelings of worthlessness came rushing back, but I managed to stay calm and I was even prepared to fight him. I wanted to reclaim some sort of victory and power after he’d taken everything from me, but he ended up taking me. Again._

_I was honestly humiliated by that since I’m being honest. Not only could I not save myself the first time, but then I go and get taken again and brought back to the same warehouse. That’s just my luck, isn’t it? Anyway-_

                Jason’s whistle broke through Tim’s thoughts. “Damn, Babybird, something serious is going down here!”

                “What is it? Drugs? Firearms? Human trafficking?” Tim asked, tapping his pen against the paper.

                “Firearms by the looks of it. I think it’s some of Falcone’s men, but I can’t be sure. I’m so going in.”

                “Try not to get shot.”

                “Babybird…you wound me,” Jason said, voice filled with mock hurt.

                Tim just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

 

                _-Jason followed me there and broke in. By that point I was fucking useless and couldn’t even put in the effort to try and fight off Presley, but I honestly thought I was going to be left there again with no hope of being rescued._

_Jason took care of me, though. He shot Presley, something that I don’t even feel the least bit guilty about. I feel like I should because of Bruce’s rule, but I just…can’t. I’m glad he’s gone and I feel like I should feel bad for thinking such a thing, but I can’t. I’m grateful that Jason was there and willing to do something for me that most other people wouldn’t. A strange way to show affection, sure, but that’s Jason for you._

_I’ve gotten more comfortable with him these past few days. I’m not afraid to be close to him or have him touch me. The contact is nice and I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed just thinking of him as my boyfriend and knowing he’s there for me. I wish I could do something to show how much he means to me. Especially after everything he’s done these past few days._

Tim bit his lip, wondering if he should write the next part. This was an exercise in self-care so it was best not to hold back.

 

                _I want to try and be more intimate with him and try some of the things that we’d done before I was kidnapped the first time, but I don’t know if I can. And I know Jason probably won’t be mad at me if I can’t, but I want to and I don’t want to suggest it only for me to back out at the last minute. I’m afraid that I’m going to be stuck at this point for the rest of my life and I don’t want to be stuck here. I want to be able to crawl in bed with Jason like we used to do. I just-_

                The sound of an explosion over the comm snapped Tim out of his thoughts roughly. “Hood? You okay?” He really didn’t want to admit to himself that he was slightly panicked by the unexpected noise, but he hated not being there to see what was happening with his own eyes.

                Jason chuckled. “Yeah, I’m here. Got a little too close and got noticed. I couldn’t let them move the contraband so I thought a few fireworks might be necessary. A couple of the guys got a little peeved at me for that and tried not to let me get off that easily, but it’s nothing serious. I’ll be fine.”

                “You blew it up.” Tim pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don’t you think that was a bit excessive?”

                “Not at all.” Tim could hear the grin in Jason’s voice. “But if you want to play nurse tonight I won’t stop you. I probably have a sexy nurse costume around the apartment somewhere.”

                Tim swallowed and looked down at his journal, re-reading the words he’d written.

                “Everything okay, babe?” Jason asked, concerned since Tim didn’t immediately respond with a sarcastic remark.

                Tim nodded even though Jason wasn’t there to see it. “Yeah…yeah…I’m okay. I’ll be okay.” Tim knew he sounded distant and preoccupied but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

                “O-kaaay...well I- _shit!_ ” Tim heard the crunch of gravel as Jason skidded over it. Tim held his breath and listened closely to Jason’s heavier-than-normal breathing as he groaned.

                “Hood? You okay?”

                He heard Jason try to chuckle, but it was cut short by another groan of pain. “Damn. I think one of those mob guys got a better hit in than I thought.”

                “Do you need someone to come get you?”

                “Nah, I should be able to make it back in one piece.”

                Tim swung his legs off the couch and planted his feet on the floor. He threw his open notebook onto the coffee table and turned all of his attention to his injured boyfriend on the other end of the comm. “Are you sure? How bad are you bleeding? Are you going to be able to make it to the other side of Gotham like this? I swear to God if you die…”

                “The other side of Gotham’s away from where I want to be.” Tim’s head snapped towards the window where Jason was standing, one hand clutched to his bleeding side. Tim was on his feet and at Jason’s side in an instant.

                “Let me see.” Tim tried looking around the blood that was quickly soaking Jason’s uniform, but couldn’t get a clear view of the wound. “This might need stitches, but I’m not sure. Come on, let’s get you in the bathroom. And I’m _not_ wearing the sexy nurse outfit,” Tim said, giving Jason a sharp look.

                Jason smiled and dutifully followed Tim through the apartment and took a seat on the edge of the bathtub while Tim pulled out the first aid kit. While he set it on the sink and opened the clips to have access to the supplies, Jason pulled off his helmet and his domino, moving slowly so as not to jostle his side. Tim moved over to where Jason was and stood between his legs. He slid his hands underneath the edges of Jason’s jacket and pushed it off his shoulders and down his arms. Jason let the jacket slide behind him and land in the bathtub.

                Tim methodically unclasped the adjoining plates of body armor and removed them as gingerly as possible, still managing to make Jason wince once the pressure was relieved from his side. Tim looked over Jason’s side where the blood had thoroughly soaked the fabric of his shirt. He glanced up at Jason, who was watching him closely.

                “Do you think you’ll be able to get the shirt off or are we going to have to cut it?”

                Jason swallowed thickly. “As long as we go slowly it should be fine.”

                Tim nodded and slid his hands underneath the hem of Jason’s shirt and moved the fabric upwards, trying not to read into the shudder that moved through the other man’s body. To prevent the shirt from getting caught in the blood and sliced skin, Tim pulled the shirt away and over the bloody skin. Once the fabric was bunched underneath Jason’s armpits, Jason gingerly lifted his arms and winced as the movement pulled at the skin on his side. Tim quickly and carefully pulled the shirt all the way off, allowing Jason to lower his arms and relax the injury.

                Tim grabbed an alcohol wipe from the first aid kit and used it to clean the skin around the cut. “It looks like you got grazed pretty deeply by a bullet, but it didn’t go in which is fortunate. It’ll definitely need stitches, though.”

                “Okay.” Tim glanced up at the gravely sound of Jason’s voice and cleared his throat before grabbing another alcohol wipe, a small cup, and the needle and suture thread. He filled the cup up at the sink and brought it over to Jason, pouring the water in the wound to wash out any excess blood and flush out any possible debris that might have gotten under the skin. Next, Tim cut off a length of the suture thread and tied it to the needle. Pinching Jason’s skin together, Tim went through the process of stitching up Jason.

                After Tim was finished, he cut the thread and tied off the line of stitches. He wiped over the stitches and surrounding skin with the second alcohol wipe and stood from where he’d been kneeling next to Jason. Tim cleaned off the used needle with soap and warm water before placing it in a container of rubbing alcohol to sterilize it for the next use. He packed up the rest of the first aid kit and replaced it under the sink.

                Tim turned to find Jason staring at him. His pupils were dilated slightly and Tim felt his cheeks heat up. Jason stood slowly and walked over to him. He gripped the edge of Tim’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and looked into his eyes. Tim licked his lips and watched as Jason’s eyes followed the movement. Tim felt his heart pick up speed as Jason leaned in and brought their lips together. Electricity flowed through Tim’s body at the contact and he brought his arms up from where they’d been gripping the edge of the counter and wrapped them around Jason’s neck. Jason released Tim’s chin and enveloped his boyfriend in his arms, pulling him flush against him, disregarding the stitches he’d just gotten entirely.

                Jason swiped Tim’s bottom lip with his tongue and after a moment of hesitation, Tim opened his mouth for Jason who licked his way inside. Tim nearly melted at the sensations he hadn’t experienced in so long, but Jason’s arms around him were a strength he was drawing from. Jason moaned and broke away first, panting for air as he continued to hold onto Tim. Tim merely stared up at him, eyes wide and lips still tingling from the kiss.

                “Let me love you, Tim,” Jason whispered.

                “Jason…” Tim slid one of his hands from behind Jason’s neck and cupped his cheek, rubbing his thumb over Jason’s lips. “I already am.”

                This time it was Tim who brought Jason’s mouth to his own and claimed it like a man desperate for water and the only oasis was inside Jason. The oasis that was there to save him from the bleak outlook that would’ve swallowed Tim had he been left alone. The oasis that was helping him to heal and repair himself. The oasis that would always be there when he came back after venturing into the unpredictable world around them. The oasis he had no idea how he’d survived this long without.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooh steamy. ;) Let me know what you think of Tim. I was trying to be really careful of my wording because I know that relationships are not all about the physical aspect and people don't need it to have a successful relationship, but I also wanted you guys to see that Tim wants to still have that be part of his relationship with Jason, but he's also afraid for obvious reasons. 
> 
> Anywho, let me know your thoughts on all of that and this whole chapter really. I wasn't too sure if I liked how it panned out when I was writing it earlier, but after letting it settle for a bit, I was more satisfied. 
> 
> If you want to hang on tumblr ----> my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com 
> 
> See you next time! 
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is stupid. I'm really sorry, but it's just....ugh. It's stupid. The next one should hopefully be better. I'm sorry that I keep throwing my Voltron obsession in everyone's faces. (Love me pleassseeeee.)
> 
> Writing's hard, but I love you guys. :*
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim came back to consciousness slowly. He brought one of his hands up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He lifted his head looking around for his phone to check the time, but didn’t see it on the bedside table. He looked over his shoulder at Jason who was holding him close, an arm wrapped securely around Tim’s waist. He smiled and wiggled around in Jason’s grip so he was facing the other man.

                Jason furrowed his brow at the movement and cracked his eyes open. Tim just smiled up at him and started running his fingers through his hair. Jason’s eyes fell shut again and he smiled, humming in contentment. He pulled Tim closer and blinked his eyes open.

                “Well good morning to you, Babybird,” he murmured.

                Tim let his fingers still at the back of Jason’s head, strands of black hair still wrapped around his hand. He kept smiling and let his eyes rove over Jason’s face, taking in every inch of him as he quickly became more alert. Jason returned Tim’s smile and rubbed his hand up and down Tim’s arm.

                Tim let his eyes fall shut as he closed the distance between the two of them and brought their mouths together. They exchanged lazy kisses in bed, staying together as the minutes passed. Lips slid together, across each other. Like the night before, something settled into place in Tim’s chest. A sense of rightness that convinced him he would get better. His wounds would heal and everything would be okay. Maybe even better than okay, because he had Jason.

                Tim’s eyes widened in surprise when Jason rolled him onto his back and hovered over him, breaking apart the kiss. His heartrate picked up when he finally took in the position they were in and he swallowed thickly.

                “As much as I would love to continue this, Tim, I have a very strong need to take a piss. But after that, you’re going to join me in the kitchen while I make breakfast and we figure out what’s going on today.” Jason gave him one last peck on the lips before pushing himself off the bed and heading towards the bathroom.

                Tim breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed a hand over his face. Jason was safe. He wouldn’t do something that Tim wasn’t ready for. Tim knew that, yet his body betrayed him with bad memories. He sat up and threw the covers off of himself, not wanting to worry himself at the moment. He was healing, that’s all that mattered.

                Tim climbed out of bed and headed to the kitchen, finding Jason already there and moving pans around. He turned away from the stove and smiled at Tim.

                “Hey! How do you feel about omelets?”

                Tim smiled and took a seat at the kitchen table so he was facing Jason. “Sounds great.” He propped his chin in one of his hands and watched Jason cook. His muscles shifted under the shirt he was wearing as he whisked and poured and reached for other utensils. Tim always enjoyed watching Jason cook. He was so at ease in the kitchen and Tim found it amazing that such a simple action could relax him so much.

                Jason glanced over his shoulder and smiled at Tim, waggling his eyebrows when he caught him watching him. Tim rolled his eyes as Jason walked over the table with two plates in hand. He set Tim’s down first and handed him a fork before taking his own seat across from him. Jason watched as Tim took a bite of his omelet, waiting for the subtle confirmation that it was acceptable before biting into his own food.

                “You wanted to get your books from school today, right?” Jason asked around a mouthful of egg.

                Tim nodded and swallowed the food in his mouth. “Yeah. I need to try and get caught up with schoolwork if I’m going to go back to my classes Monday. I’m so far behind on assignments. And I have those meetings tomorrow.” He dropped his fork and fisted his hands in his hair. “Shit!”

                “What is it?” Jason asked slowly.

                Tim started getting out of his chair. “I don’t have any of my business suits for the meeting tomorrow.”

                Jason stared at Tim a moment before he started laughing. It was a gentle laugh at first, but descended into a full body-wracking cackle that left him with tears streaming down his face and clutching at his side. Tim stared at him with wide eyes, unsure of what Jason found so funny.

                “Th-thank God,” Jason wheezed. “I thought it was something serious.”

                Tim pouted. “This is serious.”

                Jason took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. “You have suits in your dorm room, right? Just pack a bag while we’re there.”

                Tim felt himself flush and resumed his seat. “Oh…yeah.”

                No matter how many dirty looks Tim threw at Jason, he wouldn’t stop smiling for the rest of breakfast.

                As Jason did the dishes, Tim walked back into the bedroom to change into some clean clothes, only to realize that he didn’t have anything in his size that didn’t make him look like a complete slob. He also remembered that he didn’t have his school ID or the keys to his dorm room. Both of which would be needed if he wanted to get inside his residence hall. Tim groaned and sat down heavily on the bed, burying his face in his hands.

                “Everything all right in here?”

                Tim looked up at Jason who was leaning against the doorframe. “I have no clothes that look even remotely decent and I forgot that I don’t have my student ID or my dorm keys. Those were with my stuff when I was kidnapped at school and I never got my bag back.”

                Jason smiled. “Actually that’s not true.”

                Tim gave him a curious look, making Jason roll his eyes and walk further into the room.

                “After you were taken the second time, B did a sweep for cleanup after we left. He collected all of their files and data as evidence to file away. He also found your bag and the clothes that you were wearing when they took you. It’s all back at the Manor waiting for you if you want to go get it.”

                “That means my computer is safe, too. Good.”

                Jason snorted and walked over to his closet. “Figures you would care more about your computer than literally everything else.” He pulled on a pair of jeans over his boxer-briefs, leaving the shirt that he’d worn to bed. He slipped his boots on and carried Tim’s Red Robin boots over to him since those were the only shoes he had.

                Tim pulled them on and rolled the sweatpants down over them. “I really need to pack a bag or something.”

                “Come on, you can get stuff from the Manor and your dorm. We’ll even take the car so you don’t have to try and stuff it all in a backpack. I know you’d hate for your suits to get wrinkled.”

                Tim rolled his eyes and followed Jason to the front door. “I might not care, but if Alfred ever found out he’d have an aneurism.”

                Jason stopped in his tracks and whirled around, gripping Tim’s shoulders. “He must never know!”

                Tim nodded gravely, trying, and failing, to keep the grin from his face. Jason returned it easily before slinging an arm around his shoulders as the two walked down the hallway. Tim wrapped his own arm around Jason’s waist and settled into the other man’s side as they made their way down to the parking garage.

                Tim tried not to think about what was going to happen when he got back to the Manor. He fiddled with his hands in his lap to try and distract himself, his nervous energy overflowing into his actions. It wasn’t like anyone was going to corner him and interrogate him on what happened. He just needed to go in and get his stuff and-

                Tim’s thoughts abruptly came to a halt when he felt a warm palm slide into his. He looked down into his lap and found that Jason had intertwined their fingers together. He looked over at his boyfriend and saw that he had a small smile on his face and his eyes were still on the road. Tim settled back into his seat and squeezed Jason’s hand, looking out the window once again.

                Once the car had pulled up in front of the Manor, Tim took a deep breath and gave Jason’s hand another squeeze before hauling himself out the door. Jason followed closely behind as they walked up the manor steps, keeping a hand on his lower back. He reached out to pull open the double doors, when they opened themselves to reveal Alfred. He gave both of them a gentle smile.

                “Master Jason and Master Timothy, to what do we owe the visit?”

                “Jason said that Bruce had my backpack from the warehouse,” Tim answered, walking through the open doorway.

                “Ah, yes. Master Bruce had me bring it up to your room. You’ll find all of your things there. Will you be staying long?”

                Tim shook his head. “Not today, Alfred. I need to pick up my university ID and dorm keys so I can go and pick up my textbooks and some clothes.”

                “Very good. I’ll leave you two to it. If you need anything, I’ll be in the kitchen.”

                Tim stepped to the side away from Jason’s hand so that he could link their fingers together. The two of them ascended the stairs to Tim’s room. The Manor was quiet. Bruce must have been at the office and Dick and Damian were off doing whatever they needed to do during the day. Tim took a deep breath and pushed his bedroom door open, stepping inside with Jason on his heels.

                Everything was just as he’d left it, with the addition of his backpack on top of his bed. Tim released Jason’s hand and started fiddling with his backpack. He opened the zipper and found his other laptop inside. His ID and keys were sitting on top of the clothes that had been stuffed inside. He pulled out the clothes and looked over the jeans and shirt.

                Tim toed off his patrol boots and pushed the sweatpants from his hips, replacing them moments later with his jeans. He pulled off the shirt he’d been wearing the last couple of days and put on his clean one instead, getting used to the feeling of clothes that actually fit him once again. He maneuvered the shoes as best he could into the bag with his laptop and zipped it up. Tim walked over to the closet and pulled out a pair of converse, lacing those up easily. He slung the backpack over his shoulder, slipped his keys and ID in his pocket, and turned to face Jason who was still waiting over by the door.

                Jason held out his hand to Tim who walked forward and took it in his once again. Satisfied that he had everything he needed, the pair walked back down the stairs and left the Manor once again. Tim set his backpack in the trunk of Jason’s car before resuming his place in the passenger seat. He watched as the Manor fell away and they turned back to the city and Gotham U’s campus.

                It wasn’t surprising that students were moving to and from the dorms and the campus was covered with different groups of friends. Classes were still going on after all and not everyone had had a two week break like Tim. Jason parked the car in front of Tim’s building and stepped from the car. He came around to Tim’s side and pulled the door open for him, holding out his hand.

                “Ready?” he asked.

                Tim nodded and took ahold of the proffered hand, stepping out of the car. He avoided looking at anyone as he entered the building. It was unlikely that anyone here would’ve noticed his disappearance, but he’d rather not deal with it. He scanned his ID and pulled open the door that led to his unit. Bypassing the elevator that would take longer than necessary, Tim opened the door to the stairwell and headed to the second floor.

                He remembered how he’d left his dorm. The door had been kicked in and a hole had been left in the wall while he was just gone. It must’ve definitely been a sight for anyone who’d walked by, and for his RA. Tim felt a little bad since he’d just disappeared on her without a word, but he was relieved that his door was not how he’d left it.

                The door had obviously been replaced, looking brand new and made of fresh wood. The doorknob looked the same which made Tim think that they hadn’t bothered to change the lock since it was a forced entry and not one using a key. He held his breath as he inserted the key into the knob and was relieved when it turned, allowing him to push the door open. The hole in the wall had also been plastered and repainted. Nothing else had been disturbed.

                Tim opened his closet and pulled out an empty duffel bag. He set it on his bed and unzipped it, leaving it open to put his things in.

                “Will you grab some of my suits from the closet?” he asked Jason as he started opening his dresser drawers for some more casual clothes.

                “Sure thing.”

                Together, the two of them got Tim’s things packed quickly. He struggled to get the zipper closed as the fabric was straining under the amount of clothes and the few toiletries they’d packed inside. He’d filled another backpack with his books and had slipped his arms through the straps before reaching for the duffel. Before Tim could sling it over his shoulder, Jason was already picking it up.

                “Don’t give me that look, Tim. I do it because I want to.”

                Tim huffed, but didn’t say anything, taking Jason’s hand in his once again.

                They left just as easily as they came and carried the several bags back up to Jason’s apartment without a problem. Almost immediately, Tim started spreading his things out on the coffee table, much to Jason’s amusement. He covered the entire surface and was already making lists of everything that he needed to do when Jason tapped the side of his head.

                “I’m not going to let you work to death, so you’ve got until dinner to get as much done as you can, but then we’re going to eat and after that I get you all to myself and we’re going to enjoy a movie or something.”

                Tim gave him a skeptical look. “Jason, I’m never going to get everything done if I have such a restricted schedule.”

                Jason rolled his eyes. “You only think it’s going to be a restricted schedule. I’m sure that as soon as I leave for patrol, you’re going to go right back to your work and have your nose in your books until I get back in the morning. I want a few hours to spend with my boyfriend which I won’t get anyway if you work yourself to death.” Jason kissed his temple. “Now get to work. I’ll even make you a cup of coffee.”

                Tim smiled up at him and pulled him in for a deeper kiss. “Thanks, Jay.”

                Tim’s vision was starting to blur. Numbers were fuzzy and running together and he didn’t know how much more economic theory he could take. He rubbed at his eyes and looked in his empty mug. He’d finished off the pot a while ago, much to Jason’s displeasure. Jason had watched him closely all afternoon, disappearing into the book he was reading occasionally. He’d gotten up from his place on the couch a few minutes ago to start making dinner and Tim was grateful in a way. As much as he hated to admit it, he really needed a break from his work.

                Tim had gotten through about half of his reading assignments, much to his own surprise, and outlined the three papers that were due soon. He sat back on the couch and sunk into the worn out couch cushions, rubbing at his eyes. He leaned his head back and sighed, listening to Jason move around in the kitchen.

                “Worn out yet, Babybird?” Jason called from the kitchen.

                Tim smiled. “Of course not. Who would I be if I let a little bit of work get the best of me?”

                “That’s not ‘a little bit of work’ Timbo. That’s two weeks of school work you have to get caught up on.”

                Tim looked down at his books and papers. “Don’t I know it.”

                “Well, dinner’s almost ready so go ahead and pack all of that up and get Netflix loaded.”

                Tim stacked up his books on one corner of the table and made a note to himself where he left off. He sat back, tucking his legs up underneath him and picked up the remote, turning on the T.V. He flicked through a few shows, before finding one that had just been added.

                “Hey, Jason?”

                “What’s up?” he asked, carrying to bowls of pasta into the living room.

                “Have you heard anything about this new show called _Voltron: Legendary Defender_?”

                “Nope. What’s it about?” Jason settled into the couch next to Tim and squinted at the description on the T.V.

                “Something about giant robots in space.”

                Jason shrugged. “Let’s give it a shot at least. If it’s not any good we can find something else to watch.”

                Tim clicked play and picked up his own bowl of food as the opening scene began to roll. He snuggled into Jason’s side as the two of them ate and watched the show.

                Empty bowls sat on the table, Jason had his arm around Tim and the two were becoming far more animated than things required.

                “I’m just saying that it’s a little unrealistic,” Tim said for probably the fifth time.

                “Unrealistic?” Jason questioned. “Tim, babe, we’re vigilantes. Giant robotic lions that fly through space…I think I can handle that.”

                “But can you seriously get on board with two aliens being the last members of their race and managed to survive by being asleep in cryo pods for the last 10,000 years?”

                Jason raised his eyebrows. “We have Superman don’t we? I don’t think a 10,000 year-old alien race is that far off.”

                “But-“

                Jason covered Tim’s mouth with his hand. “I know that you want to keep debating the accuracy of a cartoon, but I have to get ready for patrol and I’m sure that you’re anxious to get back to your school work.”

                Tim pouted. “Fine. But we’re not done here.”

                Jason ran his fingers through Tim’s hair and chuckled. “Of course we’re not.”

                Tim crossed his arms and watched as Jason got up and walked into the bedroom. He sighed and uncrossed his arms. Standing, he picked up the bowls that were still sitting on the coffee table and carried them into the kitchen to deposit in the sink. Tim moved back to the couch and unstacked his books from the corner of the coffee table he’d left them on, opening to the last pages he’d been reading. Relaxing for several hours had definitely left him feeling refreshed and ready to get back to work and Jason was surely happy since he hadn’t missed out on any boyfriend time.

                Tim looked up when he heard Jason exit the bedroom. He was dressed in uniform with his helmet tucked underneath his arm. He handed Tim his comm link that he immediately put in his ear. Jason tilted Tim’s chin up with his index finger and leaned in, bringing their lips together. Tim tangled his fingers in the back of Jason’s hair and held him there, letting their mouths move together for a moment.

                Jason pulled back and took the hand that had been holding his hair in his own, kissing Tim’s palm. “Don’t work too hard.”

                Tim smiled. “Stay safe.” He watched as Jason pushed out the window and disappeared up the fire escape. He activated his comm and let Gotham’s night sounds fill his ear as he got back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Kudos, comments and any type of feedback is appreciated!
> 
> If you want to hang out on Tumblr: my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET REKT!!!!!
> 
> I'm so excited for this chapter especially with how much I didn't like the last one. Y'ALL ARE GONNA LOVE ME FOR THIS SO PREPARE YOURSELVES!!!! 
> 
> I expect lots of comments because I'm a comment hoarding dragon. 
> 
> Tumblr: my-one-love-is-music
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim groaned in frustration when his alarm started going off. He’d been up until Jason got back from patrol the night before, much to his boyfriend’s displeasure because he had _‘meetings today, damn it.’_ He rolled over and slapped at his phone until he managed to pick it up and silence the stupid piece of technology. As much as he was regretting staying up so late at the moment, he would force himself not to regret staying up because he’d managed to get caught up on his schoolwork and that meant that he could spend more time with Jason over the weekend before classes started again.

                Tim grumbled and got up from the bed, shuffling over to the closet where his bag of clothes had been left. He practically pulled everything out that had been packed while he reached for the suits that had been left at the bottom. Tim pulled out a set of black dress pants and suit jacket. He looked through the dress shirts that Jason had thrown in picking a baby blue color and a silver necktie to complete his ensemble.

                He held the clothes close to his chest and moved to the bathroom, feet dragging across the floor the entire time. Tim set his things on the counter and started the shower, grateful as the steam filled the room, warming the slightly chilly air. He stripped out of his pajamas, leaving them in a pile by the door and stepped under the warm spray, sighing as the warm water cascaded over his body, simultaneously relaxing him and waking him up for the day ahead.

                Tim showered slowly, enjoying the soothing feel of the shampoo cleaning the dark strands of his hair and the rhythmic movement of the washcloth over his skin. He watched as the soap bubbles were washed down the drain before shutting the water off and reaching around the curtain to grab a towel. He dried quickly, giving the cotton a few rubs over his hair to keep it from dripping any more.

                He hung up the towel to try and reached for his clean pair of briefs and his white undershirt. Tim dressed methodically, running his hands over his crisp shirt and dress pants after he finished, tie knotted expertly around his neck. He picked up the pile of clothes that had been left by the door and walked back to the bedroom, suit jacket draped over his arm.

                Tim looked over at the bed after replacing his clothes with the rest of his things and saw that Jason had reached an arm over to where Tim had been moments ago. He smiled at the sight, walking around the bed and kissed the side of Jason’s head before running his fingers through the strands a few times. Jason sighed in his sleep and Tim gave him one last kiss before moving out into the apartment and to the kitchen to prepare himself some breakfast.

                He turned on the coffee pot and listened to the soft hum as it started to brew his coffee for the day. Tim knew that he was probably going to need it, both because of his lack of sleep and because of the anxiety and stress he’d certainly be experiencing as he went back to the office. As he slid two slices of toast into the toaster and grabbed some fruit and yogurt from the fridge, he thought about how nice it would be for Jason to go with him to the office. Tim knew that wasn’t an option though. He had work to do and no one could risk learning who Jason was.

                He buttered his toast and stacked it on a plate with his fruit and yogurt, grabbing a mug from the cabinet and pouring himself a cup before sitting down at the table. Tim would admit that he wasn’t much of a cook compared to Jason, but he thought he was pretty good at making a simple breakfast for himself. And he really didn’t want to risk setting off the fire alarm with Jason still asleep. He’d worked hard last night. He deserved it.

                After finishing his breakfast, Tim left the plate in the sink and grabbed the travel mug from the cabinet, pouring the rest of the coffee pot into it to bring to work with him. The travel mug should be enough to get him through most of the morning, but he’d need a refuel before the afternoon meetings started.

                Tim slid his arms through the sleeves of his suit jacket and walked over to the coffee table where he’d spent the previous night working. Both of his laptops had been left out here and he put the one he used for work and school in the backpack that he’d used for his schoolbooks, slipping it over his shoulders. He grabbed his phone and wallet and headed out the apartment door, shutting it quietly behind him, trying not to wake Jason from his slumber.

                Tim sipped at his coffee as he walked down the sidewalk to the train station. The morning rush had already passed and Tim was thankful that he wasn’t required to head into work when everyone else was. The perks of having the type of position and special circumstances that he had. He continued to sip at his coffee and swiped his pass to get into the subway, boarding his train that had just arrived.

                The subway car was mostly empty and he took one of the many open seats. Now that he thought about it, it would’ve been nice to bring headphones to listen to something or a book to read. Tim supposed that he was just out of practice with it all, really. He’d be going back to his classes Monday much to his own chagrin and that would bring in a whole new level of work for him to focus on. He was going to miss the amount of time he was currently able to spend with Jason, but he couldn’t stay locked up in the apartment forever. That wouldn’t help things and he wanted to get back to his life. If he was lucky, maybe he could start patrolling again too, go for a trial run on Saturday with Jason.

                Tim exited the subway at his stop and walked the last block to W.E. A few people were rushing in and out of the front doors, scurrying through the lobby, but that didn’t bother him. He avoided them easily and was just glad that no one was staring at him. Yet. He bit his lip as he entered the elevator and rode it almost all the way to the top of the building.

                He stepped out onto his office floor and saw that everyone was diligently at work. The secretary working the front desk for the floor looked up and did a double-take, mouth dropping open in shock. Tim smiled sheepishly and walked forward.

                “Hello Sally. How are you this morning?” he asked as he approached the desk.

                “I’m-I’m good, Mr. Drake. Good morning-uh-welcome back!”

                Tim nodded at her. “Thank you. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

                Sally nodded quickly. “Absolutely. The list of meetings scheduled for this afternoon is on your e-calendar for you to look over.”

                “Thank you.” Tim turned to the floor before him. No one had noticed him yet and he took a steadying breath, heartrate already picking up as anxiety spiked within his veins. He squared his shoulders and started walking forward with purpose.

                At first everyone continued going about their daily tasks, but slowly people took notice and stopped typing or shuffling papers. They all watched as he passed by, in varying stages of shock at his reappearance. Tim kept his eyes forward during the length of his walk and didn’t turn to face his employees until he was standing at his office door. He looked over all of them: mouths open, papers falling from hands, eyes wide. He nodded politely at all of them, allowing a genuine smile to form before turning to unlock the door to his office. Thunderous applause followed him inside.

                Tim shut the door behind him and sagged against the wood. He felt giddy and exhausted. His legs shook as he walked around his desk and sat down heavily in his chair, giggling a little and burying his face in his hands. He was back and he was okay and people were happy to see him. Tim wouldn’t have been able to wipe the grin from his face if he tried. He pulled out his computer and powered up the machine, logging into the building’s network to get to work. He’d made it this far and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t that extra coffee after all.

                Tim happily worked through the morning. He finished his coffee soon enough and hadn’t even felt compelled to get another cup or two from the break room as he normally would have. Sally had surprised him at lunch and brought him something to eat. She insisted that everyone from the office had wanted to get him something, making him both shocked and pleased that they cared so much. He’d grown more nervous as his first meeting time approached.

                Tim was currently seated in one of the plush boardroom chairs amongst a few of the members of the advertising department. This was first, then R&D, and finally he would finish his afternoon with international relations. He busied himself by looking through the folder that was sitting in front of him and reminding himself what information they’d be discussing that day. He made a few notes in the margin of points and questions that he wanted to bring up as he waited for the head of the department to open the meeting.

                Tim blinked as a cup of coffee was set in front of him. He looked up and smiled. “Thank you, Robert.”

                Robert smiled back gently. “Mr. Drake.” He nodded politely once more as he made his exit out of the board room.

                Tim’s first meeting had gone smoothly enough and he was trying to calm himself down during the interim. He’d thought it would be no big deal after the warm reception he’d gotten from his employees that morning and being surrounded by a large number of people wouldn’t bother him. Needless to say, there were a few W.E. employees who weren’t too happy with his disappearance and weren’t afraid to be less than polite.

                He hoped that the R&D meeting would be different. Tim had strong relationships with everyone in that department since both groups were very interested and knowledgeable about technology. He sipped at his coffee, willing himself to calm down. Everything would be okay and the afternoon would be over before he knew it. He would be on his way back to Jason’s apartment and would get to relax with him for a few hours. He took a deep breath as everyone started to file in, looking over his notes and questions once more.

                Tim breathed in deeply once he was seated back in his office. He felt his hands shaking just barely after having been involved with so many people for the afternoon. He was glad that he had time to calm down now that his meetings were finished and could compose himself before leaving for the night. R&D had been as relaxed and welcoming as Tim had hoped, making him comfortable and at ease. If he thought advertising had been bad, they were nothing compared to the international relations department heads. That group had been downright hostile and passive-aggressive and Tim was shaken by the reception.

                After a moment of hesitation Tim pulled out his phone and hit the one contact that he knew would help calm him down.

                “Tim? I thought you were at work?” Jason asked when he picked up.

                “I am, I…it’s-I just…”Tim broke off and sighed, rubbing his forehead.

                “You okay?”

                “Just a bit of a rough afternoon and I thought maybe calling you would help me calm down before the trip home.”

                “Do you want me to come and get you? I don’t have to drive, but I could meet you outside the building and we could take the subway back,” Jason offered.

                “No, that’s-actually…would you mind? Driving over here?”

                Tim heard the smile in Jason’s voice when he responded. “For you? Never. I’ll be there in 15, okay?”

                “Okay. See you soon.”

                “Love you,” Jason said, hanging up.

                Tim stared at his phone for a few moments and watched as the screen went dark. That had been the first time that Jason had told him that since before he went back out on patrol. His stomach flipped and he wasn’t sure if it was because of nerves or excitement or what it was exactly. Numbly, Tim packed up his things, shutting down his computer and stuffing it into his bag. He held his phone tightly in one hand and gripped his keys with his other.

                Trying to look as normal as possible, and not as though he was having an internal freak-out, Tim locked up his office and headed through the mass of desks and cubicles that lined the floor. He wasn’t the first one to leave, but there were still a good number of people there. They seemed to have reassured themselves during the day that Tim was actually there and wasn’t about to disappear because no one stared at him while he left, something he was incredibly grateful for. He waved at Sally and gave her a smile that probably appeared far too tight to be natural and entered the elevator at the end of the hallway.

                Tim took a deep breath when he started to walk across the lobby. He saw Jason’s car parked next to the curb outside and he was sitting inside, smiling, fingers drumming against the wheel to some rhythm unknown to Tim. He walked out of the large glass doors and pulled open the passenger door. Jason smiled as he slid into the seat.

                “Hey babe,” he said, giving Tim a peck on the cheek.

                “Hi,” Tim said quietly.

                Jason signaled and re-entered the traffic flow and before long his hand reached over and took Tim’s in his, intertwining their fingers. Tim held on tightly and watched as the buildings of Gotham passed them by. The radio was turned down low. Not that it mattered. Tim wasn’t even paying attention to what was playing, mind still reeling from everything that had happened today.

                Jason rubbed his thumb soothingly over the back of Tim’s hand and Tim latched onto the sensation. It gave him something concrete to focus on as his mind worked through everything that had happened. Several people at W.E. were pissed at him and he’d give them the right to be angry. He’d be pretty peeved too if something like that had happened to him, but it was also incredibly draining on him as a person. And then Jason. Tim looked at him out of the corner of his eye and saw how happy he was.

                Tim felt his mouth form a small smile. He gripped Jason’s hand even more tightly and turned his head to look out the window. Never breaking the silence on the way back to Jason’s apartment.

                “So what happened today?” Jason finally asked as they pushed into the apartment and Tim started loosening his tie.

                Tim kicked off his shoes and sat down heavily on the couch, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “It was absolutely crazy. First of all, everyone practically gave me a standing ovation when I came into work today and they even bought me lunch.”

                “Looks like the great Timothy Drake was missed,” Jason said, amused, sitting down next to him and running his fingers through his hair.

                Tim hummed at the sensation and continued. “The reception in some of my meetings was much less welcoming.”

                Jason’s hand stilled for a moment before resuming its calming effect. “What did they do?” he sighed.

                “They just weren’t happy with me being gone for two weeks and then just showing up again. There was quite a bit of passive-aggressiveness and hostility.”

                “Well they’re idiots. They shouldn’t judge someone after not knowing what they’ve been through.”

                Tim shrugged and moved closer to Jason, looking up at him. “It’s not a big deal. I’m not too worried about it. They’ll get over it eventually.”

                Jason pouted. “Well I don’t like it.”

                Tim sat up and scooted closer to Jason, draping one of his arms around his neck. “It’s a good thing you don’t have to come into work with me then.”

                “Maybe I will just to spite them,” Jason said, pulling Tim into his lap. He was looking at Tim through half-lidded eyes, gaze hungry. He closed the distance between them quickly, claiming Tim’s lips in a desperate kiss that quickly grew more and more heated, mouths moving together and seeking out some sort of advantage.

                “Jason,” Tim panted as he broke away. Jason continued to kiss across his jaw and down his neck, making Tim shiver with want. “Jason,” he said more forcefully grabbing the other man’s attention.

                “What?” he murmured against his skin.

                “This afternoon…on the phone…you-you said…” Tim screwed his eyes shut, fighting his brain for control.

                “What? When I said that I loved you?” Jason gazed at him for a moment, smile forming slowly. He leaned in close, forcing Tim to hold his fiery gaze. “I love you, Tim. I haven’t always, but now I’ll never stop.” He surged forward and brought their lips together again as Tim’s heart skipped a beat in his chest.

                Jason pulled him closer and he shivered when his groin brushed over the unmistakable bulge in Jason’s pants. Tim pulled away again, fighting against the dizzy surge of his own desire and pure want. It was something that he hadn’t felt in so long and didn’t think he’d ever experience again. It was terrifying, but at the same time he felt hope surge in his chest.

                “Ja-son,” he swallowed thickly and waited until Jason looked at him. “I love you, too.”

                Jason’s breath caught in his throat and he stared wide-eyed at Tim. Tim stared in disbelief and started to panic as tears welled up in Jason’s eyes and spilled over.

                “Wait, why are you crying? Jason, what did I do?” Tim panicked.

                Jason shook his head and cupped Tim’s cheek in his hand. “I’m just…really happy. I didn’t know when I’d ever get to hear those words come out of your mouth again.” Jason took a shuddering breath and pulled Tim closer, searching his face. “Tim…I want…shit and I know you might not be ready and that’s okay, just tell me if you aren’t, but I want…”

                Tim stared at him trying to comprehend what he was saying before his eyes widened. He felt dizzy again, excitement mixing with nervousness and anxiety. Slowly, Tim’s hand came up to take hold of where Jason’s was on his cheek. He lowered it and watched Jason’s face the whole time as he pressed his hand against his own erection that was straining against the fabric of his dress pants. Jason squeezed gently and Tim’s head fell forward with a groan.

                “Can I blow you, Tim?”

                “Please…” he whispered.

                In one swift movement Jason lifted them both from the couch and headed to the bedroom. He set Tim down on the bed gently and hovered over him, holding his gaze.

                “If you get uncomfortable or want to stop at any time tell me and I’ll be off of you in a heartbeat, okay?”

                Tim nodded as Jason’s hands shakily rucked up the fabric of his dress shirt and undid the zipper on his dress pants. He closed his eyes and sighed as a little bit of pressure was relieved. He fisted his hands in the sheets and lifted his hips, allowing Jason to gently pull down his pants and briefs.

                “You okay?” Jason asked.

                Tim looked down at where he was hovering over his flushed erection and swallowed thickly before nodding. He watched as Jason turned his attention back to his cock and opened his mouth, licking up the precome that had beaded at the head. Tim gasped at the sensation and Jason immediately swallowed him down. He tried to buck up into Jason’s mouth as his boyfriend’s nose brushed up against the hairs surrounding the base of his dick, but Jason’s hands steadied him.

                Tim was breathing deeply, the most intense pleasure he could ever remember experiencing flooding his brain and making it even harder to think. Jason started bobbing his head, swirling his tongue around Tim’s cock and sucking occasionally, drawing a loud moan from Tim’s lips. He was having trouble remembering why he’d been so afraid of this. Jason would take care of him. Jason loved him and Tim was lost to him.

                On one particularly harsh suck, Tim’s back arched and his eyes nearly rolled back into his head. He was completely wired, intense sensations and bolts of pleasure wracking his body as Jason brought him higher, higher, higher, until there was nothing else but the two of them. Until there needed to be nothing else but the two of them.

                Tim felt the muscles in his stomach draw tight. “Jason…” he panted, “Jay, I’m-I’m g-gonna…” He trailed off as Jason sucked deeply, Tim’s cock hitting the back of Jason’s throat. “Oh, god….” Tim arched off the bed as his climax ripped through his body. He wasn’t sure what sound tore from his throat, if anything. His eyes rolled back in his head from the force of his orgasm. Tim not so much as heard, but felt Jason shudder and groan around him.

                He lay panting on the bed when Jason released Tim’s dick and looked up at him slightly worried. “Are you okay?” he asked nervously.

                Tim sat up and pulled Jason’s mouth to his, tasting himself on his tongue. He closed his eyes and pressed their foreheads together. “I love you, Jason.”

                Jason grinned. “I love you too, Tim.” He rubbed his thumb over Tim’s cheek. “Let’s get changed and I’ll make dinner.

                Tim looked up him puzzled before glancing down at his groin. “Jay…did you…”

                Jason bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah.”

                Tim stood from the bed and pulled Jason in for one more kiss before the two of them changed and headed back to the kitchen, ready to spend the rest of the night together.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET THIS CHAPTER UP!!! I was really struggling to get it written this week and for a good 3 days, I only had 450 words. (that familiar fear that I was somehow going to fuck this story up was back as well so that wasn't helping either) This chapter is also shorter than what I've posted in a while, but I'm really happy with what I wrote (despite how much I struggled) and where I'm leaving it. 
> 
> Here's a big thank you to Dc_girl831 for checking up on me and being so understanding to my woes. :*
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Jason and Tim found any excuse to touch each other the rest of the night. Whether it be a little peck on the lips, a brush of their arms, or sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch, the two sought out some sort of contact. Tim knew that something had finally shifted back into place in their relationship. They’d already been doing really well beforehand, but it was almost as though one of those last walls that Tim had put up after he was kidnapped had finally come down. He could _touch_ and didn’t have to worry about Jason accidentally pushing him to do more.

                The two of them were currently curled up on the couch. Jason was resting against the arm of the couch with an arm around Tim’s waist who was tucked snugly into his side. They’d had steak and potatoes for dinner and had settled down to watch some Netflix after the meal. And Tim was happy. He was sure that he had the goofiest grin on his face, but he couldn’t bring himself to care because Jason was there and he was just as happy.

                Jason picked up his phone after the current episode of Voltron that they were watching ended. He groaned and let his head fall back to rest on the couch cushion. “I have to go patrol,” he sighed.

                “Okay.” Tim made no move to get up and just started tracing patterns over Jason’s stomach.

                “Tiiiimmm,” he whined.

                Tim smirked and looked up, fingers only pausing momentarily. “I’m not stopping you from patrolling. You can easily get up and leave me on the couch.”

                Jason huffed and abruptly pulled Tim up and into his lap and pouted at him. “Well you make me want to stay so that _is_ your fault.”

                “Maybe I should come with you then,” he murmured, running his fingers through Jason’s hair.

                Jason caught his hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing his palm. “You want to?”

                Tim shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s certainly nothing stopping me and it might be time for me to get back out there after the few days that I’ve had.”

                Jason gave Tim a quick kiss before patting his thigh and shifting him out of his lap. “You’ve got plenty of time Babybird. There’s no rush so if you need another day, there’s nothing wrong with that.” He stood and walked into the bedroom and out of sight.

                Tim sighed and flopped down on the couch. Sometimes he really hated how complicated all of this was, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He’d heal at his own pace and get back to things as they came. He supposed that he could do a little more journaling tonight and figure out exactly where he stood since he apparently hadn’t done enough introspection already.

                Jason walked back out of the bedroom dressed in his uniform. His helmet was underneath his arm and he was carrying both Tim’s laptop and his notebook in his hand. He set them on the coffee table and placed his comm next to them. Tim propped himself up on his elbows and Jason leaned down to give him a quick kiss before moving over to the window and slipping on his helmet.

                “Stay safe,” Tim said, softly.

                Jason nodded. “You too. Take some time and maybe you can come out with me a bit tomorrow night.” He disabled the alarms and pushed out the window, disappearing up the fire escape.

                Tim groaned and pushed himself into a sitting position. He picked up his notebook and flipped through the pages, not even reading what was written. He snapped the book closed when he reached the blank pages and tossed it back onto the table, running his fingers through his hair. Tim pulled his laptop towards himself instead and powered up the device. He checked his email, finding nothing there that would distract him for a long period of time.

                His eyes landed on the comm link that was still sitting on the table and he stuck it in his ear, activating it so he could hear what Jason was up to.

                “Miss me already?” Jason asked.

                “Naw, just bored,” Tim said, grinning.

                “Babybird, you wound me,” he replied, voice filled with mock hurt.

                Tim let out a frustrated growl. “I feel like I’m gonna start climbing the walls here. I just don’t know what to do and I have all of this energy. I’m thinking I should’ve gone out on patrol with you.”

                Jason was quiet for a moment, making Tim wonder what he was thinking about. “You still could,” he began hesitantly. “Come out and patrol, I mean. It’s not like once we get started you can’t possibly come out later. It’s still early so there would be a lot of stuff left to do.”

                Tim bit his lip, thinking it over.

                “I could circle back and meet up with you once you’ve suited up that way you won’t have to come to the other side of Gotham to meet up with me.”

                Tim was off the couch and through the bedroom door in an instant. He flung open the closet door and practically ripped off his shirt and pants in the process. He reached for his suit with shaking hands, gently unfolding it from where it’d been sitting on the shelf. He dressed slowly, movements precise as each piece was put in place. The domino mask was put on last and Tim breathed carefully as a few unpleasant memories tried to overwhelm him, but he refused to let them get the better of him.

                Those things were in the past and he’d never have to worry about facing those people again. They were gone and Tim had survived. He wasn’t about to let anything else bring him down. He left the bedroom and walked over to the window. He disabled Jason’s alarms and pushed out into the night, shutting the pane behind him and resetting everything.

                Tim climbed up the fire escape easily and silently walked across the rooftop when he reached it. He perched at the edge, letting the breeze flow around him as the warm air was stirred. He looked over Gotham and took in the city. He wasn’t able to see everything that made the city what it was from up there, but it was his city and he was going to protect it no matter what.

                Strong arms wrapped around him and he leant back into the embrace with a sigh of contentment. Jason’s thumbs rubbed comforting circles where they were resting against his sides. “Ready to go?” he murmured in Tim’s ear.

                “Yeah,” Tim breathed, but neither of them made a move to leave and return to patrolling Gotham. He started giggling at this whole situation, dropping his head forward to look at where Jason’s arms were settled around his waist. Jason tightened his grip and lifted him from his perch on the edge of the building, letting him straighten his legs and get his footing before loosening his grip. Tim turned to face his boyfriend who settled his hands on his hips. He looked up at him fondly even though he couldn’t see his expression behind the helmet.

                Tim popped up on his toes and kissed the side of Jason’s helmet before pulling out of his arms. He threw one last smile at Jason before pulling his grapple from his belt and running to the edge of the building, launching himself from the structure. He let himself enjoy a few seconds of freefall before shooting his line to the next building and pulling himself up. Tim added a bit of Dick’s flair and did a flip before landing in a crouch. He glanced behind his shoulder and found Jason watching him. He fired his own grapple and joined him moments later.

                The two of them silently took off across the rooftops. Tim used the time to find his sense of equilibrium and settle into the movements that he was putting his body through. He felt light, almost as though there was nothing to bring him down. It reminded him of his first time as Robin. That first time he was able to shoot a grapple across a rooftop and feel the wind in his hair as he became weightless for those few blissful moments. It was something he’d never felt before. Yet, even after all of this time, the feeling never got old and it gave him a sense of giddiness at what he was doing. What he was capable of doing.

                Tim looked over and saw Jason matching him step for step. The sight brought a smile to his lips, because even though this reminded him so much of when he was first Robin, this was better. He had Jason. And that was more important than anything else at the moment.

                A woman’s scream caught Tim’s attention and he immediately changed course to follow the sound, Jason right behind him. They grappled across the street and dropped down into an alley where a group of guys had a woman cornered. There were five of them, spread out in sort of a zig-zag pattern. Two of them had guns, another two had knives, and one had a baseball bat that was hanging loosely at his side. Tim wasn’t exactly sure what he was hoping to do with that, but he wasn’t bothered by it regardless.

                The guy with the bat was closest and Tim stalked forward, wrenching it from his grasp and causing the man to turn around.

                “Hey-!” he protested, but Tim hit him square in the jaw, forcing his head back. He stumbled, clutching the side of his face. The man’s protest caught the attention of the other men who turned to see what was happening. The two men with guns started to raise their barrels to line up a shot at Tim, but Jason surged forward at the threat. He bypassed those who had knives and wrenched the handguns from the two men before they could even try to get a shot in.

                Tim thrust the end of the bat into the first guy’s chest, knocking him to the ground. He threw the bat in the opposite direction and stalked towards the two guys with knives. They looked uncertainly at each other before gritting their teeth and readying for an attack. They surged towards Tim together, movements sloppy and imprecise. He dodged easily, ducking under arms and getting a few good jabs to their ribs. Tim grabbed the knife-hand of the guy on his right and twisted the arm behind his back, forcing him to arch forward and lose his grip on his weapon.

                He kicked the knife to the side where the bat was and turned to face the other knifeman. He was watching them uncertainly, but managed to find his resolve quickly, tightening his grip on the knife. He raised his weapon and rushed forward making Tim nearly roll his eyes. He shoved the man he was holding towards the charger who abandoned his attack in favor of catching his friend. The second it took him to look down, Tim rushed forward and gave him a strong right hook to his face, sending both of them to the ground.

                Tim looked around at the three guys they’d taken out. The one who’d had the baseball bat had been smart enough to stay where he was when he went down. Jason was leaning against the wall casually, arms crossed across his chest and gunmen already ziptied on the ground at his feet. The woman they’d been after was still backed against the wall, but she was looking much calmer and more collected than when they’d first arrived. She looked like a businesswoman who was just now on her way home from the office.

                Tim turned back to the three guys he took down and pulled zipties from his belt, binding their wrists easily. After he pushed them off to the side he nodded at the woman and shot his grapple up to the roof, leaving without a word. He stood on the roof and looked down at his hands and smiled. He felt powerful and strong. It was a nice feeling to have again. Jason stepped up behind him, silent as ever and wrapped his arms around him again.

                “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

                Tim smiled. “Good,” he said, softly. “Strong.”

                “Strongest vigilante I know.”

                Tim chuckled. “I don’t know about that…”

                “Well I do.” Jason gave him one last squeeze before stepping away. He nodded at Tim before taking off towards the edge of the building. Tim smiled as he saw him momentarily disappear before landing on the opposite rooftop. He shook his head at his boyfriend, but followed him regardless.

                Tim felt Jason’s eyes on him during patrol as much as his own eyes strayed towards the other man. Each kick, each punch, every sweep of his bo was an affirmation. A confirmation of how strong he was and what he was capable of doing. It proved that despite all of his fears and worries when he was kidnapped and the following days after the incident, that he was good enough. He was strong and no one could take that away from him. No one else would ever be able to make him feel so low because what he was doing right now, fighting crime and flying through the night sky-that was his reassurance that he was able to do anything.

                Jason was silent for the most part. He let Tim do what he needed to do without intruding, simply acting as a pillar of support when needed and offering comfort.

                “Hey, Jason?” Tim asked when they’d returned to the rooftop after stopping an attempted robbery.

                “What’s up?”

                “Do you think…well, I’d like to…” He let out a frustrated sigh.

                Jason walked up behind him and slipped his hand underneath Tim’s cape, resting it on the small of his back. “What is it?” he murmured. “You know you can tell me anything.”

                “I know, I know.” Tim paused. “It’s just…I’d like to share with you,” he said slowly, “what happened to me while I was kidnapped.”

                “You don’t have to-“

                “I know.” Tim worried his lip between his teeth. “But I want to. And I trust you with the information. I think that it’ll help me, too, because I won’t have to worry about what it feels like to keep it all bottled up inside. Plus…you already know the general idea of what happened and since you haven’t gone screaming to the hills yet, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that you won’t run away when you hear the full story.”

                “Tim,” he breathed. Jason stared at him for a moment before pulling him into a rough hug. He clutched him close with one arm while the other went up to his helmet to undo the catches that held it together. He jerked his helmet off and practically threw it to the ground before his lips crashed against Tim’s.

                Tim sagged against him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and trying to bring him as close as possible. Jason’s grip tightened in response as their lips moved against each other. It was hungry and desperate and passionate and Tim never wanted it to end. One of Jason’s thighs slipped between his and Tim groaned at the contact. Lungs burning, face flushed, and gasping for breath, Tim pulled away. His eyes roved over Jason’s face wishing he could see underneath the domino.

                Jason surged forward again, bypassing Tim’s lips and kissing down his jaw to his neck. He closed his lips around the skin underneath Tim’s jaw and sucked harshly making him shiver. Tim’s hands fisted in Jason’s jacket as he continued to assault his neck with various kisses and bites. After he ran out of skin on one side of his neck, Jason switched to the other side, repeating his actions in his mission to leave as many hickies and sensitive areas as possible.

                He pulled away at last and claimed Tim’s lips for one last toe-curling kiss. “I love you. So much,” Jason panted out. “Thank you for trusting me this much.”

                Tim felt over the sides of his neck. “I don’t know if I should considering you just covered my neck with bruises in the middle of patrol.”

                He chuckled. “Don’t care. B’s not here to see and it’s not like anyone else is going to know it was me. Besides, it’s a good look for you.”

                Tim huffed out a laugh. “Good thing Nightwing’s not here, then.”

                Jason hissed and looked around. “Don’t say his name. As soon as you do you know he’s just going to pop up out of nowhere and be all annoying.”

                Tim buried his face in Jason’s chest and inhaled his leathery scent. Jason ran his fingers through his hair several times just keeping him close.

                “Thank you. We should get back to patrol,” Tim said, voice muffled.

                “They won’t miss us for a few minutes. Besides, people are already starting to get up for the morning shift, we could always call it an early night and get back. Snuggle up on the couch and have something to eat…”

                Tim smiled. “You’re terrible.”

                “Can you blame me? It’s Saturday.”

                “Yeah, Saturday _morning_.”

                “Your point?” Jason asked.

                “My _point_ is that I want to do a couple more runs around town. You can head back if you want to, but I’m gonna stay out a little longer.”

                “Now why would I do that? I’m not going to waste my chance to spend more time with you.”

                Tim pulled away from Jason’s arms and gave him one last smile before sprinting off across the rooftop to grapple to the next one. He heard Jason splutter protests behind him as he fumbled to get his helmet back on and follow him across the cityscape of Gotham. Tim’s laughter left him easily, swept away by the breeze as he took flight once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated and much thanks to those who leave comments. I always love responding to you guys and it makes me happy to hear it you've liked something. :D
> 
> Here's my tumblr as well: my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> If you'd like to check out some of my other stuff, I'm posting new stories all week for JayTimWeek and already have two new ones up.
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO HOO!! WE DID IT GUYS!!! 200 KUDOS, WELL 201, BUT THANK YOU ALL SO SO SOOOOO MUCH!!!! I never thought that I'd get to this point honestly and it feels so good and makes me so happy and I'm so proud of myself, but I definitely wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you lovely people reading this. :* 
> 
> And since I'm feeling so happy and I'm super happy with this chapter, because things happen *jazz hands* I think you're going to like it too. :D It's been a long road to get to this point and I think we might even be nearing the end of the fic, but for now let's just raise our glasses and enjoy the ride.
> 
> Cheers!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim groaned at the sliver of sunlight that was peeking through the curtains and falling directly across his face. He turned away from it and buried his face in Jason’s chest, hoping to ignore the morning and stay in bed a little longer. He felt Jason start to shake underneath him and looked up to find him already awake and laughing at him for trying to avoid the sun. Tim sighed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, making no move to get away from his boyfriend.

                “What time is it?” he grumbled.

                “Noon, I think.”

                Tim groaned and tried to burrow further into Jason who just laughed.

                “Come on, I’ll make breakfast and we can sit on the couch and eat,” he said, rubbing comforting circles across his back.

                Tim huffed. “ _Fine._ ” He sat up and pushed the blankets off of him, crawling out of the bed behind Jason who took his hand and walked with him to the kitchen. He took a seat at the kitchen table and rested his head in his hands, willing his tired eyes to stay open as he watched Jason move around the kitchen and put something together for breakfast.

                Jason whistled to himself as he cooked, putting together an egg mixture and throwing that into a pan with cheese, ham, and veggies. He cooked up the omelets quickly and brought them over to the table to eat. Tim immediately tucked into his breakfast, still amazed by how incredible a cook Jason was. He was so focused on eating that he nearly jumped when he felt a foot brush up against his ankle. Tim looked sharply at Jason who chuckled at his reaction.

                “A little jumpy there, Babybird?”

                Tim narrowed his eyes. “Go make me coffee and I just might forgive you for that.”

                Jason smiled lopsidedly, but pushed his chair back anyway and walked over to the counter to start the coffee maker. While he waited he grabbed his plate from the table and shoveled the last bite of omelet into his mouth and set his plate in the sink.

                As the small coffeepot finished filling up with the bitter liquid, Jason pulled a mug from the cabinet and poured a generous amount of coffee into it. He walked around the table so he was standing behind Tim and leaned over his shoulder to set it next to his plate, effectively boxing him in with his arms. Tim stayed relaxed at the close proximity, choosing instead to focus on the fresh cup of coffee that had been brought over to him.

                He took a tentative sip, humming happily as the liquid spread warmth through him. He turned his head to look up at Jason out of the corner of his eye. “It’s…adequate.”

                Jason rolled his eyes and brushed his lips over the shell of his ear. “Just adequate? I’m insulted. It should be at least slightly better than crappy coffee shop.”

                Tim shivered, but the next moment Jason’s warmth was gone and he was walking around the table with Tim’s empty plate in hand to go wash the dishes. He pouted at his boyfriends back, but made himself comfortable to finish his cup of coffee.

                Soon enough, he found himself on the couch in Jason’s arms and with his second cup of coffee. Tim had situated himself between his legs and was resting his back against Jason’s chest, and had arms draped lazily around his waist and over his stomach.

                “So…what do you want to do today?” Jason asked, rubbing gentle circles on Tim’s stomach.

                Tim shifted uneasily and tightened his grip on his mug. “Well…do you remember what I said last night? About how I wanted to tell you about what happened?”

                Jason tightened his grip. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do? You don’t have to. I’m not entitled to that information.”

                Tim closed his eyes and swallowed thickly, once again not understanding what he could have ever done to deserve someone like Jason. “I know I don’t have to. But I want to. You’re important to me and I want you to know because I love you and I know you love me.” He took a shaky breath, strengthening his resolve. “And I think once I’m able to talk about this with you, I’ll be able to get fully past it and it won’t be there looming in the background. I know that it won’t fix everything. I’ll still have some things to work through and-“

                “And I’ll be there to support you every step of the way. I’ll be there to love you and tell you it’s okay. You’re beautiful and strong and absolutely incredible and I don’t deserve you because your experiences and the things you went through don’t determine your value as a person.”

                Tim tightened his grip on his mug and choked out a sob as his emotions welled up inside him. Jason gently took the mug and set it on the coffee table before tightening his grip, pulling him as close as possible. He began to run his fingers soothingly through Tim’s hair. Tim clutched at the arm that was still around his waist and tried to steady himself as a few tears slipped out and ran down his cheeks.

                “I was so confused when I woke up, you know. I wondered why my dorm bed was so hard and uncomfortable and then I remembered. The day before, the panic, the expression on your face when you saw I was being taken, the emotion in your voice when we’d been talking on the phone and how I was stupid. So stupid. They got a needle in me. That’s why I was so disoriented-the drugs.

                “I woke up in Presley’s office without my backpack and the electric collar was already around my neck. He started questioning me about being Red Robin and my life as a vigilante. I denied it consistently but he refused to accept what I was saying, insistent that he was right and knew who I was. I thought he wanted money but he started saying some things about needing my brain and the skillset that I had. He wanted me to work for him and said that I belonged to him now, if the collar was anything to go by.”

                Tim took a deep breath, preparing himself to talk about what happened next. “He said that no one else was allowed to touch me and dismissed his bodyguards. I tried to attack him. I thought that if I could just subdue him I’d be able to get out of the situation and get home and make sure that you were okay. That’s when the collar went of the first time.” He rubbed at his neck where the piece of metal had sat heavy there at one point. “God it was so painful,” he whispered.

                Jason splayed his hand over Tim’s stomach protectively, hoping to provide some form of comfort and wishing that none of this had happened to the man whom he loved.

                “My brain had slowed down from the shock and tremors were still wracking my body and I didn’t realize what was happening at first, but Presley stripped me of what I was wearing and shoved me over his desk.” Jason buried his head in Tim’s shoulder as he continued quietly, tears streaming steadily down his cheeks. “It was so painful, Jason. I don’t think I’d ever hurt that much in my entire life. I felt so disgusting and vile.”

                He laughed bitterly. “I was worried what you’d think of me. I knew you hated child molesters and rapists, but I had no idea what you thought of their victims. It didn’t stop there, though. He started setting up these traps where I thought that I had the chance to escape. An alarm blaring and automatically unlocking all of the doors, dropped keys here, or just the door being left open for me. Every time he would cut off my escapes when I thought I was almost free.

                “That was the worst part. Having that little sliver completely crushed and further abused before being thrown back into my room. It was the same each time. He’d use the collar, leaving me in a shivering and trembling heap on the floor before assaulting me. He told me I was worthless and alone and replaceable. I had no idea what was going to happen to me.

                “I finally stopped hoping that I was going to make it out of there so easily. I ignored the last trap they’d set for me to try and make me think that I’d be able to escape. Presley was pleased that I hadn’t fallen for that one and told me that he’d show me how good he could make me feel. I told him that wasn’t going to happen. Needless to say he wasn’t pleased. He used the collar and only the collar, turning the dial up further each time he shocked me, but I didn’t care at that point. Dying would’ve been better than having to suffer at his hands.”

                Jason shuddered at Tim’s mention of dying.

                “The pain was enough that I lost consciousness. The next time I woke up, I was in your arms being carried back up to the Manor.” Quiet filled the space between them. Tim refused to open his eyes, having kept them closed during his recount of the events. He felt Jason shaking behind him, but wasn’t sure why.

                Tim sighed and finally looked over to the coffee table where he’d left his laptop and notebook the night before. He reached for the notebook and held it tightly between his two hands, searching for some form of resolve. He pulled out of Jason’s arms and turned to face him. He didn’t even know where to begin deciphering the emotions on his boyfriends face, but wasn’t going to worry himself with that.

                “I started this back at the Manor,” he said, opening to his first entry. “I knew that I needed to heal and thought writing about it would help.” He handed the notebook to Jason who looked bewildered. “I want you to read it. If you want to, that is. I know I’ve given you a lot of information already.”

                Jason looked down and ran his fingers over the tear-stained pages before searching Tim’s face.

                “I’ll be in the bedroom when you’ve finished.” Tim got up from the couch quickly and walked into the bedroom with his arms wrapped tightly around himself and dropped onto the bed feeling utterly spent. He threw an arm over his eyes to block out the light. The apartment was quiet, the sounds of the city distant and muted compared to the intense feelings crashing through him.

                He forced himself to not think about what Jason was doing in the other room. What he was reading, what he must be thinking, and what he must be feeling. There were only a handful of entries for him to go through and he forced himself to not think about what would come after he was done. Tim knew that it was irrational for him to assume this would be the deal breaker. That after he finally bared himself fully to Jason, this would be when he would push him away in disgust.

                Tim heard Jason get off the couch in the other room and set the notebook down. He forced himself to keep his breathing regulated and force away the panic. He was waiting for the front door to slam that signaled his departure or for Jason to come in and demand that he leave and say there was no way that they’d be able to be together after this because he was disgusting and used and broken.

                He tensed as he heard Jason walk into the room and over to the bed. The edge dipped as his weight came to rest on it and he crawled over to him. Tim started when his arm was pulled from where it’d been covering his eyes and trying to block everything out. He stared up at Jason who was hovering over him.

                He searched his face for a moment before leaning down and capturing Tim’s lips in a rough kiss. He brushed his tongue over his bottom lip and Tim let him in easily, melting as he licked his way into his mouth and stole his breath away. When he pulled away, Tim tried to follow, but Jason remained just out of reach, giving him a hard look that quickly softened.

                “You are _not_ disgusting.” He kissed Tim’s cheek. “You are _not_ broken.” He kissed his neck. “You are _not_ weak.” He closed his lips of his pulse point and sucked, making Tim writhe and gasp underneath him. He slid a hand underneath his shirt and rucked the fabric up. “You are _not_ replaceable.” He moved his mouth down to his nipples and flicked his tongue over one and then the other. “No one can _ever_ compare to you.”

                Tim wanted to sob with relief as his hands scrambled for some sort of purchase on Jason’s shoulders. Jason pulled away and pulled first his own shirt over his head and then pulled Tim’s the rest of the way off. Immediately his mouth went back to licking, sucking, and biting across his chest.

                “And I’m never going to let you go again.” He kissed his way down his stomach. “I belong entirely to you, Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne and nothing is ever going to change that.”

                Tim whimpered and felt the tears well up anew, spilling over quickly. “Jason…” he sobbed, brokenly as his boyfriend reached the waistband of his boxers. He screwed his eyes shut. “ _Please…_ ” he whispered harshly.

                Jason hooked his fingers underneath the waistband and lifted it, sliding the fabric over Tim’s half-hard cock and down his legs, throwing them aside once they were off. He nudged his legs a little wider and left a trail of kisses up his thigh and towards his dick, brushing his lips just barely over his balls and up the length, satisfied when it continued to swell. He swirled his tongue around the head, barely dipping it into the slit before sucking Tim’s cockhead into his mouth for a moment making his boyfriend gasp and arch.

                He gripped Tim’s hips and rolled him gently onto his stomach, intent on being as gentle as possible. His breath ghosted over his hole making him shiver underneath him.

                “Tim?” Jason breathed.

                “Yeah?”

                “I want you.” Tim moaned, clutching at the blankets. “Can I?”

                “Yes. God, yes. _Please._ ”

                Jason kissed across the wonderful swell of Tim’s ass, nipping gently at his cheeks. He flattened his lips around his entrance and sucked, making him squirm and pant beneath him. He flattened his tongue and licked a stripe upwards before lapping eagerly at his hole. The skin and muscle quickly loosened and became slick with spit, allowing his tongue to slide in easily and begin pumping in and out.

                Tim made a choking sound, breaking off the noises he was making. He was torn between rubbing against the sheets to get some form of friction for his now leaking cock and pushing his hips back towards Jason’s face to get more contact. He felt a finger nudge at his entrance and slide in next to Jason’s tongue to massage his walls while pumping in and out. He nearly sobbed at the pulses of electrical pleasure racing up his spine.

                “Jason…” he whimpered. Tim had forgotten how good Jason was. How good he felt. How good _sex_ could feel.

                Jason groaned. “So beautiful. So pretty for me, Tim. You taste so good.”

                Tim whimpered again as a second finger pressed in next to the first, the calluses catching every now and then on his walls as they moved torturously slow. Too soon, they were pulled out leaving him empty. He nearly cried at the loss and was distantly aware of the sound of a cap popping before Jason’s incredible fingers returned, sliding in far more easily than they had before.

                As his fingers continued to thrust into Tim, Jason pushed himself up the bed so could kiss the skin up his back. He sucked and nipped at the backs of his shoulders, making him arch up into his chest.

                “I love you, Tim.”

                Tim shifted around at those words and managed to get himself onto his back, displacing Jason’s fingers in the process. He grasped Jason’s face between his hands and searched his face even as tears clouded his own vision.

                “I’m yours,” he whispered. “All of me belongs to you.”

                Jason surged forward, claiming his lips and his mouth and his tongue with a desperate kiss that left them both breathless and searching for more. He slid his fingers in Tim’s entrance again, adding a third this time and pushing them in deeply, aiming for Tim’s prostrate. He found the bundle of nerves after several thrusts, making him gasp and go wide-eyed.

                Tim was finding it hard to think with how good he was feeling and the sheer amount of pleasure that he hadn’t experienced in so long. It made it difficult to form words.

                “Jay…” he whimpered. “Jay-Jason,” he tried again, finally catching the man’s attention.

                “What is it?”

                Tim looked down at him, chest heaving and cheeks flushed. “Please…I-I want…” He paused, swallowing thickly. “I want to feel you inside me.”

                Jason’s mouth dropped open in shock before he surged forward to taste his lips and mouth again. He pulled out the three fingers that he’d had buried deep inside Tim and grabbed blindly for the lube, finding it after feeling his way across the sheets for a few moments. He popped the cap and pushed his boxers down with his other hand, kicking them off quickly and pouring a generous amount of lube in his palm. He slicked up his flushed and leaking cock and settled down between Tim’s legs.

                Lifting his hips slightly, Jason positioned himself at Tim’s entrance and pressed in slowly until he bottomed out. Tim accepted all of him easily. He was about to pull back and thrust in again when Tim stopped him.

                “Wait,” Tim gasped. He was clutching at the sheets and his eyes were wrenched shut. Negative emotions were welling up inside him warring against the pleasure, want, and desire that had been flooding every part of his body up until that point. The memories about Presley were assaulting him for the second time that day, but he was determined not to let them win. Presley didn’t have any control over him anymore. He wasn’t here. He wasn’t going to hurt him.

                It was Tim and Jason. Jason loved him and would protect him. He’d been making him feel so good and brought about pleasure that he hadn’t felt in _weeks_. He was safe. _This was safe_. And Tim wasn’t going to let a dead man take that away from him. He wouldn’t let him have any power over him anymore.

                “Do you want to stop?” Jason asked, voice strained.

                “No.” Tim shook his head fiercely, pushing the negative memories away and focusing on how good he felt and how good Jason was and how much they loved each other. He took several deep breaths, steadying himself and strengthening his resolve as the emotions and negative feelings slowly dissipated. Taking another few deep breaths, he slowly opened up his eyes and looked at Jason who was still hovering over him, face strained with the effort not to shift. “Okay,” he breathed, “you can move. Just…slow.”

                Jason’s smile was tight, but some of the tension left him as he was able to shift. “Wasn’t about to do it any other way.” He pulled almost all the way out, making Tim feel each centimeter before repeating it as he slid back in. “Wanna make you feel so good. Take it so slow that it keeps you on edge all day. Make you forget everything that happened so there’s only us and how good it feels.”

                Tim’s eyes fluttered shut at Jason’s words. He fisted his hands in the sheets above his head, feeling Jason’s body move in his. Every push and pull so gentle and loving that it made his chest tight with emotion. He wrapped his legs around Jason, trying to pull him deeper on each thrust. The first barely-there brush over his prostrate drew a shuddering gasp from his lips. Jason gave him more with every movement after that forcing moans and whimpers and mewls from deep within his chest.

                Time was lost to him. All he knew was the push and pull of their bodies. The feeling of being filled by Jason and the sounds that came from Tim. He felt as though they’d only just started and like they’d been there forever, only needing to know the feel of each other. Everything else dropped away, seemingly meaningless in the waves and pulses of pleasure lighting him up inside in the way that only Jason knew how to do.

                Jason started to move faster, more desperately and Tim tried to force his hips back to meet him thrust for thrust. The feeling of tightly coiled arousal and need finally coming back to him as he recognized just how hard he really was and how much precome had already pooled on his belly. Jason finally wrapped a hand around him and Tim nearly sobbed in relief at the glorious friction as he matched his own thrusts. Heat spiked even more fiercely and he knew that he was seconds away from coming.

                “Jason…” he whimpered. “I’m gonna…” Tim’s breath left him in a rush as Jason sped up even more, both breaking him apart and putting him back together, finally whole.

                He threw his head back with some garbled form of Jason’s name as his orgasm ripped through him, painting Jason’s hand and his stomach with come. He clenched down on the cock inside of him, trying to pull it farther in as Jason stroked him through his release and he was left a boneless heap on the mattress.

                A handful of thrusts later and Jason was following after him, shuddering and muttering curses under his breath as his come filled Tim around his own cock and was pushed from his hole by the continued movements. Once he finished, he pulled out, shaking and utterly spent. He crawled over Tim’s pliant body and rubbed a thumb across his cheek, slightly worried as to why he was just lying there, staring at the ceiling.

                “Tim?” he questioned.

                Glassy-eyed, Tim turned his gaze on Jason, a lazy smile sliding over his face. He reached out a hand to Jason who took it and kissed over his skin.

                “Thank you,” he whispered.

                Jason’s brow furrowed. “For what?”

                Tim’s eyes slid shut as he rolled over and buried his face in Jason’s chest. “Loving me, caring for me, being the most wonderful boyfriend I could ever ask for, making me feel good when you don’t have to, and just doing all of those things because you want to do them for me.”

                Jason wrapped his arms tightly around Tim’s smaller frame and settled into the sheets, feeling utterly spent and on the verge of sleep. “ _Thank you_ for seeing the good in me and loving me,” he whispered as the two of them drifted off, content on spending the afternoon in bed before patrol that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having to go back through Tim's journal entries and the early chapters where he was kidnapped nearly brought me to tears. I can't believe I put Tim through so much pain. But he's gonna be okay and smut happened...so yeah. ^.^
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I'm sure you guessed, I've started classes again. I was actually hoping to get this chapter posted sooner, but things have been absolutely crazy with getting settled in at my apartment and working on keeping everything organized for rowing and such. But I'm here now! And I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep up with my goal to update at least one fic a week. I'm gonna aim for updates on Sundays. Sooner if things go well. :)
> 
> Cheers!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim slowly came back to consciousness. He felt sated and happy and utterly _content_ after the events from that afternoon. He yawned and stretched, allowing a sleepy smile to form on his face as he reached out over the blankets and bed. Jason was missing, but they were still warm meaning that he had probably just left. He slowly pushed himself up in bed, grimacing when he felt the dry come move and crack over his skin. Tim crawled out of bed, picking up Jason’s discarded shirt from earlier and walked to the bathroom.

                He heard movement in the kitchen meaning Jason was probably doing something for dinner. He pushed through the bathroom door and quickly wet a washcloth, cleaning himself off and feeling slightly more refreshed. It wasn’t as good as a shower, but it would do for the moment. Tim slipped on Jason’s too-big shirt and smoothed his hands over the fabric as it settled at mid-thigh. Smiling to himself, he walked out of the bathroom and went to join his boyfriend in the kitchen.

                “Hey, Baby-“ Jason said, cutting himself off as soon as he’d turned around  and gotten an eyeful of what Tim was wearing. He swallowed thickly before setting down the saran-wrapped package he was holding on the counter and slowly walked towards him, not stopping until they were nearly touching. Tim had to incline his head a bit to look him in the eye. Jason bit his lip and dragged his fingers over the exposed skin of Tim’s thigh, letting them rest gently and easily just underneath the hem of his shirt.

                Tim looked up at his face through half-lidded eyes. “Like what you see?”

                Jason ducked his head so his breath was ghosting over Tim’s lips. “More than you know. I could just eat you up, babe.” He straightened up and backed away, letting his fingertips drag across Tim’s skin once more. “But I have dinner to make and we have patrol to cover tonight as much as I’d love to roll around in the sheets with you once more.”

                Tim shivered from the feel of Jason’s hands. “Well I’m not stopping you.”

                Jason grinned and moved to pick up the package he’d set down earlier. Tim sat down at the table and watched as he cut it open and pulled out several chicken cutlets. There were already two other bowls set out. One at a time, he dipped the cutlets in first the egg mixture and then the flower mixture before setting them in a glass container. After covering the four cutlets, Jason placed the dish into the oven and set the timer. He washed his hands and cleared away the dishes before walking around the table to stand behind Tim.

                Tim leaned back in his chair and relaxed as Jason’s hands came up to rub over his arms and shoulders. He leaned his head back and was granted a kiss from his boyfriend. He smiled up at him lazily and Jason just grinned back.

                Jason quickly pulled Tim’s chair back, making him squeak, and slid an arm underneath his legs, lifting him from his seat. He was kissed again and given a brilliant smile. They landed heavily on the couch, Tim staying comfortably in Jason’s lap with his arms wrapped securely around him. His shirt had gotten rucked up around his hips and he wiggled around to readjust it. Jason pulled him even closer and reached over for the remote, flipping on the T.V. and caging Tim in with his thighs. Tim melted against Jason’s body and relaxed into the embrace, content to just sit and watch whatever show was on.

                Dinner was eaten, time passed, and Tim had felt that he’d had the most relaxing evening than he’d had in a while.

                “Come on,” Jason said, patting his thigh and shifting to sit up. “It’s time to get up for patrol.”

                Tim grumbled at having to get up from his comfortable spot. He was nearly on the verge of sleep and didn’t appreciate being jostled.             

                Jason chuckled and shifted Tim out of his lap who was doing absolutely nothing to help him. “Come on, Tim. Babe, we have to go.”

                “But I’m so comfortable.”

                Jason kissed him on the top of his head and gathered him in his arms once again. He got up from the couch and carried Tim back into the bedroom before setting him down in front of the closet. As Jason reached into the closet for their uniforms, he pulled off the oversized shirt and put on his jockstrap. The two dressed in silence and headed to the window once they were ready. Jason activated his security measures as they moved up to the rooftop to fly over Gotham City once again.

                They had only covered a few blocks when a black blur shot across the rooftop at Tim. He rolled with that tackle and pushed the attacker off himself, easily finding his defensive stance. He heard Jason growl something incoherent and rush up behind him guns aimed at the attacker.

                “What do you-Dick?!” Tim nearly screeched.

                He at least had the decency to look sheepish from his spot on the roof.

                “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jason growled, obviously beyond irritated as he holstered his weapons.

                Tim straightened and crossed his arms. “What do you want?”

                Dick pushed himself to his feet. “Sorry, I just missed you. And I heard that you’d been out on patrol last night and wanted to see you. I haven’t heard anything from you since you let me come have lunch on Wednesday.”

                Tim felt a spike of guilt go through him. He wasn’t trying to ignore his family, but this whole thing was definitely not easy to deal with. “Sorry. I’m trying. I mean, trying to get back into everything. I went to work yesterday and have school Monday.”

                “You went back to work?” Dick asked, perking up. “That’s great!”

                “Yeah,” Tim shifted a bit uncomfortably, “thanks.”

                “Okay, well…Alfred would like you to stop by for dinner sometime. We all would, actually. When you’re ready to of course. No rush.”

                Tim nodded. “Okay, thanks.”

                He stood there awkwardly looking at Tim for a few moments. “I guess I’ll be going then…see you later Tim.”

                Tim nodded and watched as Dick threw him one last smile before heading back off across the rooftops in the opposite direction that they were going. Jason’s arm snaked around his hips and pulled him up against his side. He relaxed into the embrace and the feeling of his body next to his despite the layers of body armor and Kevlar separating them.

                “Alfred probably has been missing you since you’ve been staying with me instead of the Manor,” he murmured.

                “Yeah,” Tim sighed. “I feel a little bad that I’ve sort of forgotten about all of them during the past few days. It would be nice to go back and have dinner though. It would give me a chance to catch up with him.”

                Jason squeezed his hip reassuringly before stepping away. They took up the path they had been walking on earlier and listened to the sounds of Gotham as they swirled and filled the air around them. Tim listened closely for any sign of distress waiting for something to come. Jason stuck close by him almost like a shadow. They moved in tandem, crossing buildings, flying through the air, and chasing criminals.

                Tim came to a stop at the edge of crime alley, hardly winded from the pattern they’d taken across streets and rooftops throughout the city. He looked down at the people who were starting to emerge for the workday and the few who were returning home after their night shifts, bleary-eyed and exhausted. Jason came up behind him and looked over his shoulder before glancing over at the horizon that was starting to lighten.

                “We should probably head back.”

                Tim nodded and turned back in the direction of Jason’s apartment. Their work was done for the night and it was time to hang up the capes and masks and enjoy their day before Tim had to go to his classes the following morning. They were only a few streets over from where they’d begun hours before and cleared the distance quickly, not drawing the attention of anyone despite the lack of shadows at the hour. In all honesty, it probably wasn’t the smartest decision to stay out that long, but it was nice. Tim had had the opportunity to revel in the thrill of it and enjoy his time on patrol. After denying it for so long it was nice to be back.

                They climbed through the window gracefully and Tim headed towards the bedroom while Jason reset the security. He carefully peeled off his domino and set that inside the closet as he unclasped his cape from around his neck. He bent down and worked the laces of his boots open as Jason walked into the room, already having removed his helmet and domino. He leaned over Tim and replaced his things in the closet before getting to work on pulling his own clothes off.

                Tim had finished undressing first and pulled a clean pair of boxers from the dresser to replace his jockstrap. He felt Jason’s eyes rove over his back and skin as he changed and couldn’t help the small smile that lifted the corners of his mouth. He’d admit that it was a nice feeling not being afraid of what Jason thought of him and the fact that he still wanted him and supported him.

                As he straightened, Tim felt Jason step up behind up and reach around to grab his own pair of boxers from the dresser. Tim threw his jockstrap to the side and leaned against Jason’s chest, enjoying the warmth that the contact brought to his skin. Jason bent his head down and kissed the top of his head. Without breaking the contact his chest had with Tim’s back, he angled his hips away to pull down his own jockstrap.

                His movements were clumsily and he bumped up against Tim more than he meant to, but wasn’t too bothered when the action made Tim chuckle at his antics. He was pleased that he could draw such contented and happy sounds from his boyfriend and grinned at the reaction. Jason left his jock on the floor once he was finished and wrapped his arms around Tim’s waist, lifting his feet from the ground and spinning him around.

                Tim clutched to him tightly as the actions drew more giggles and laughs from deep within him. Despite the exhaustion he could honestly say that he was thoroughly enjoying himself after a long night of patrol. After his feet were returned to the floor, he wiggled around in Jason’s grasp and turned to face him. Still grinning up at him, Tim wrapped his arms around Jason’s shoulders and jumped, effectively wrapping his legs around Jason’s waist in a koala hug.

                Jason’s arms came to rest underneath his legs to keep him up and he walked towards the kitchen with his arms still full of Tim.

                “I don’t know about you, babe, but I’m a little hungry. How do you feel about breakfast?”

                Tim sighed dramatically and buried his face in Jason’s neck. “If you must.”

                Jason squeezed his thighs. “Come on, what do you want?”

                Tim shrugged, still unmoving from where he’d buried himself.

                Jason sighed and began to try and extricate Tim’s legs from around his waist. Tim was not happy with that idea and insisted on clinging tighter, much to Jason’s amusement.

                “Can’t you just make toast or something?” he grumbled.

                Jason stilled. “You want me to make _toast?_ ”

                “Or something.”

                His eyes narrowed and he returned his attentions to dislocating Tim from himself with renewed fervor. He tried to hold on, but it was a losing battle now that Jason had proper motivation. He pushed his boyfriend an arm’s length away and stared into his face.

                “What?” he pouted.

                “I’m not about to let my boyfriend subsist on _toast_ when I can make you something so much better.”

                Tim’s shoulders drooped. “Fine,” he grumbled and moved over to sit at the table, watching Jason petulantly as he began to move around the kitchen and gather his necessary cooking supplies. Jason studiously ignored him as he moved around the kitchen, measuring, mixing, and finally ladling into a pan. As much as he wanted to stay mad at him for forcing him out of his arms, Tim couldn’t deny how delicious the smell of freshly cooked pancakes were. The warm smells had him sighing in contentment as his eyes started to slide closed.

                Jason walked back over to the table and grinned when he saw Tim’s head resting lazily against his hand as his eyes threatened to shut. He slid a plate over to him and sat down with his own. Tim’s movements were now sluggish as the effects of exhaustion and a night of work pulled him towards sleep and the need to be in bed. Therefore they ate quietly, but Jason wasn’t bothered by it. He was happy enough feeding Tim and getting some warm food into his own belly.

                Jason cleared the dishes as Tim slumped down in his chair, leaving them to be done later. He picked his boyfriend up, enjoying how he immediately snuggled into his chest, and carried him to the bedroom. He set Tim down first, getting him situated comfortably in the sheets before walking around to the other side of the bed and slipping in behind Tim. He pulled the comforter over the two of them and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s slender frame.

                Tim sighed happily and loosely folded his arms up between them. His eyes were already closed and he felt the incessant need to sleep tugging relentlessly at him. He knew it wouldn’t be long until he succumbed to his exhaustion and tangled their legs together before he drifted off.

                Jason rubbed soothing circles into Tim’s back and watched as he let his eyes slide closed. It wasn’t long before his breathing evened out and he could tell that he wouldn’t be waking up any time soon. Jason let his own exhaustion pull at him until his own eyelids slipped down, letting Tim’s peaceful face be the last thing he saw before his dreams took over.

                Jason felt something tugging at him. Telling him to wake up, yet the sensation was soothing and gentle. It felt like something he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He furrowed his brow trying to place it before realizing dumbly that it was fingers running through his hair. He blinked his eyes open, forcing them to focus on the image in front of him. Jason squinted at the light and finally found himself face-to-face with a very happy looking Tim. Jason smiled lazily and closed his eyes, reveling in the feeling of Tim’s fingers.

                “Mmm….feels good,” he groaned, voice deep and gravelly from sleep.

                Tim laughed, breathily. “Good. I’m glad.” He stilled his hands at the hairs framing the back of Jason’s neck and tangled his fingers there, scratching his nails against Jason’s scalp.

                Jason slid his hand up Tim’s arm and wrapped his fingers loosely around his wrist. He slowly opened his eyes and reciprocated the smile that he found on Tim’s face. He leaned forward and brought their lips together in a sweet morning-well afternoon-kiss. Tim sighed and leaned against Jason, practically draping himself over his body.

                “What time is it?” Jason asked as he rolled onto his back, taking Tim with him.

                Tim shrugged against him. “No idea. Late afternoon maybe?”

                Jason reached over to the bedside table and groped for his cellphone, finally finding it after several frustrating attempts. He squinted against the brightness as he checked the time before setting it beside him.

                “It’s almost 3pm,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “I suppose we should probably get up and do something before patrol tonight. And you’ve got classes tomorrow.”

                Tim sagged against him. “I know and I’m not looking forward to them.”

                “How come, Babybird? You were ready to get back into the swing of things a few days ago.”

                Tim worried his lower lip with his teeth. “I know…It’s just a bit nerve-wracking.”

                Jason rubbed his hand over Tim’s back soothingly. “You’ll do great. It’s not like you’re behind in your classes or anything.”

                “Yeah…I guess…” Tim didn’t sound too convinced.

                Jason reached for his phone again and dialed the number of his favorite pizza place.

                “Jason…what…” Tim began as Jason started talking. He listened as the order was placed and looked up at his boyfriend curiously.

                “Come on,” he said, sitting up and patting Tim’s back as he was forced up with him, “we are going to have a great night in before patrol-well, afternoon in-and you aren’t going to worry about going back to classes tomorrow at all because you’re a genius and won’t have a single problem with it.”

                Tim didn’t say anything, but his lip was still stuck between his teeth. Jason rolled his eyes and pulled Tim’s lip free with his thumb. He cupped his cheek and leaned in for another kiss. It was slow and sweet. They broke apart easily, but Jason wasn’t prepared to let Tim go that easily. He leaned back and pulled Tim flush against his body, taking his lips once more.

                They sat there, kissing and tasting and loving. Jason was convinced that if he could do anything to help Tim it would kiss all of his worries and anxieties away. Even though he knew that’s not how it worked, he was going to do his damnedest to try and make it happen. He worked happy sighs and small moans from somewhere deep within Tim and was encouraged by each reaction he got.

                By the time the knock sounded on the door signaling the arrival of their pizza, Tim was breathless. A pink flush dusting his cheeks and neck and his nails were digging into the skin of Jason’s shoulders since he wasn’t wearing a shirt that Tim could grip onto.

                Jason gave Tim one last kiss before extricating himself from his boyfriend and the blankets of the bed and headed towards the door. It took Tim a few moments to follow him to the living room, mind still a mushy mess from the feeling of Jason’s lips and tongue moving against his own and getting him worked up in a way that only Jason knew how to do.

                When he finally made it through the doorway, Jason had already set the pizza boxes on the coffee table and was returning with two plates. He sat himself down on the couch and looked expectantly at Tim who hadn’t moved from the doorway. Still slightly flushed, Tim made his way over to him and sat down next to him on the couch, accepting the plate that Jason had already loaded with pizza. And as he took his first bite and looked over at the pleased expression that adorned Jason’s face as he ate his own food, he realized that he really wouldn’t rather be anywhere else and was so incredibly lucky to have this man by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, kudos, and comments are always appreciated! 
> 
> my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> I think we might be nearing the end as well. Cheers, fam!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo...so I'm back with a chapter. This one feels kind of rushed and sucky but my roommate is adamant that it's probably not so here you go. Take the chapter. I'm interested to know what your thoughts are about the ending so if you want to share those, you're always welcome. :)
> 
> Oh...and you know how I kept saying we were almost at the end? Yeah? Well, I think I lied. 
> 
> Cheers!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim’s alarm pulled him from the pleasant dream that he’d been having and brought him back to the real world. He rolled over and blearily grabbed his phone from where he’d set it on the floor, quickly silencing the noise. A look over his shoulder confirmed that Jason was already up which Tim didn’t entirely understand since he’d gone out on patrol the night before, forcing Tim to stay in much to his own displeasure, and would usually be asleep now that the sun was up. Tim stretched and crawled out of the sheets to figure out where his boyfriend had gone.

                He walked out of Jason’s bedroom and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, finally catching sight of a shirtless Jason standing in the middle of the kitchen. He looked as though he was still wearing half of his uniform making Tim think that he hadn’t made it to bed at all.

                “Jason?” he asked.

                He glanced over his shoulder from where he stood over the stove and shot him a tired smile. “Morning, Babybird. I was just making you some breakfast for your first day back at classes.”

                Tim walked over and looked around Jason to see what was cooking in the skillet. “You didn’t have to go that. You must be tired, go get some rest.”

                Jason shook his head and poured the egg scramble onto the waiting plates. “I’ll have all day to sleep while you’re in class. Besides, it won’t be any fun here without you around.”

                “I guess,” he said, shrugging and taking their plates over to the table as Jason set his dirty dishes in the sink. He pulled a jug of orange juice from the fridge and brought it over to the table with a pair of glasses for them. Tim took the full glass as Jason held it out to him, taking a long drink of the cool liquid.

                Breakfast went quickly and he left Jason to the dishes as he went to get dressed. He shuffled through his duffle bag and found a pair of jeans and a short-sleeve shirt. Tim changed quickly and made a quick trip to the bathroom to brush his teeth and try to tame his hair. He loaded up his backpack with the books that he’d need for the day along with his laptop and charger. He slipped his arms through the straps and pushed his feet into his converse, tying the laces quickly.

                Tim nearly crashed into Jason as he was walking through the door to the bedroom, making him chuckle. He tilted his head down and captured Tim’s lips in a kiss.

                “Have a good day in class,” he said when they parted.

                Tim smiled softly. “Yeah, thanks. Get some sleep.”

                Jason reached down and intertwined their fingers together before bringing their joined hands up to his mouth to kiss the back of Tim’s hand. “Call me if you need anything.”

                He nodded and left Jason to a day that would hopefully be calm and peaceful.

                The last minute stragglers who had to get to work were rushing past Tim on the sidewalks. He let them go, taking his time to get to the subway that would take him to his university. He sat down in one of the many available seats and pulled out his phone and earbuds to listen to some music during his commute.

                Walking out of the subway left him blinded by the bright sunlight. It took a few minutes for his eyes to fully adjust, but once they did, Tim was left with the picturesque view of Gotham University and typical college life. He took a deep breath to collect himself and walked towards the buildings looming in the distance. He passed by several students who didn’t bother sparing him a glance, too immersed on their phones and in their conversations during the few well-rested hours that they had for the week.

                Tim pulled open the door to the business building and immediately turned right to head up the staircase. He liked to think that he was in pretty good shape because of vigilantism, but the stairs of the business building somehow always made him feel out of shape. He blamed it on the oldness of the building itself and the slanted stairs that he had to walk up. Jason would probably accuse him of trying to keep his ego undamaged or some shit, but Tim would like to see him get up these stairs with no problem.

                He passed a few familiar faces as he walked through the hallway to his classroom and gave polite nods to them as they acknowledged him. He walked through the open door to his classroom and headed for his seat towards the back of the smaller lecture hall. Most of the students weren’t there yet and neither was his professor, thankfully. Tim pulled out his laptop and his business ethics textbook and flipped open to the current chapter, doing a quick review of the information that he’d studied the week before. He opened a new Word document and sat back until his professor arrived.

                “It was nice to see everyone this morning. Don’t forget about the readings for Wednesday and bring your completed papers to class.”

                Tim packed up his things slowly, feeling far more reassured about his classes than he had been the day before. He walked down the steps behind most of the students.

                “Welcome back, Tim,” his professor said, stopping him.

                He smiled tightly. “Thank you. It’s nice to be back.”

                “I assume that you’ve stayed up to date with all of the work and you’ll be ready to turn in your paper during our next class.”

                “Yes I have and my paper is already finished.”

                “Then I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

                Tim nodded and walked out of the lecture hall and straight into a large crowd of people. He skirted around the perimeter of them and hurried down the hall, heart beating a little faster in his chest. He pushed into the nearest bathroom and strode over to one of the sinks lining the wall. He splashed cool water on his face and looked at his reflection which just stared back. Tim glanced behind him and checked to see that he was alone.

                “You’re fine. It’s fine. They’re just people. They’re not going to do anything to you. They don’t know anything about you.” He forced his fingers to unclench from the edges of the sink and took a step back. He gave himself an onceover and, feeling as satisfied as he could be, left the bathroom for the common area.

                After a few hours spent working on homework and trying to relax in the large plush chairs that the university supplied for the students to lounge in, Tim headed up to the third floor for his accounting class. He’d managed to calm down during his first class and relax as much as possible while surrounded by so many people, but he felt his anxiety spiking once again as he was heading to a much smaller classroom for his accounting class. The likelihood that more people noticed his absence was worrying and Tim tried desperately to push the feelings away in order to focus on the day ahead of him and the work that he would have to get done.

                He took his usual seat in the middle of the array of desks and pulled out his notebook and the worksheets that they would go over that day. There were already a few students waiting inside and he saw their looks of surprise at his presence, but they thankfully refrained from saying anything. Tim tensed when the frat boy who sat behind him walked into class. He never ceased to find some reason to poke fun at him even if most of the time he made himself look like an idiot. He sat down heavily in his seat and leaned forward, foul-smelling breath stinking up Tim’s space.

                “Look who’s back. Thought you’d finally given up and dropped out of school,” he taunted before laughing loudly and sitting back in his seat.

                Tim fisted his hand on his desk and squared his shoulders, not willing to give him the satisfaction. He was doing fine and there was nothing that he needed to worry about even though his heart and anxiety was trying to tell him otherwise. He sighed and relaxed his posture when the professor walked in and shut the door behind him. He set his folders down and sat down on the table that was placed in front of the room.

                “Welcome back, Mr. Drake. I assume that you’ve kept up with your work during your absence?” he asked while looking over the present students.

                Tim swallowed thickly as everyone in the room laughed. “I have,” he said defiantly, grateful that his voice didn’t shake or crack from nerves.

                His professor stared back and raised an eyebrow, but refrained from commenting, instead jumping into that day’s lecture. Tim would count that as a personal victory on his part.

                He nearly sprinted out of the room when his accounting class was finished. The air was beyond suffocating and he didn’t think he could take another second longer than he had to endure in the company of that group of people. Accounting was his least favorite class in general, but something about coming back after being gone for two weeks just made everything so much worse and heightened his senses when it came to his peers.

                Tim only had fifteen minutes until his next class and he had no idea how he was going to calm himself down in time for it. His skin felt too tight and everything was so _loud._ The shuffling of papers, the ticking of the clock, the tap of pencils, the occasional cough from one of the students. And the lights were so _bright._ He pushed into one of the single stall bathrooms and locked the door behind him. Tim sagged against the door and pulled out his cellphone.

                His other class was in a completely different building but he couldn’t bring himself to care, only focused on getting oxygen into his lungs and past his restrictive clothes. He unlocked his phone and pulled up Jason’s contact, finger hovering over the call button as he stared at the picture. It was of the two of them, taken before he was kidnapped. They were happy. Tim was smiling loosely and was visibly relaxed for once as he leaned into Jason’s space. Jason was grinning, so happy and content that you wouldn’t even imagine he’d gone through some of the things he’d experienced.

                Tim moved his finger away from the call button and gripped his phone tightly in his hand. He felt the ball of anxiety inside him loosen and diminish, breathing returning to normal. His eyes roved over the picture, taking in every detail before he pulled them away and looked at the top of the screen. He pocketed his phone, relieved that he still had ten minutes to get to his next class. He yanked open the door and hurried down the hall, nearly sprinting down the stairwell and out of the building. Tim knew that he could get through one more class. Only fifty more minutes and then he’d be on his way back to Jason.

                He walked into his last class seconds before it was scheduled to start, not even caring that he was almost late or that he was probably wearing some ridiculously sappy smile. He took his usual seat that had been left open for him and pulled out his calculus textbook and sheets of notebook paper that were covered in equations and mathematical problems. Tim settled back into his chair, feeling the most relaxed and content that he’d felt at school all day.

                His last class was the easiest thing he’d gone through all day. He was almost happy to be back at school. But after being away for a day, Tim was ready to get back to Jason and silently thank him for being there for him even when he wasn’t. He owed him so much and there was still so much that he wanted to give him. He was preparing himself for the busy subway ride that would take far too long when he started to hear the whispers.

                There were several groups of girls lurking around the quad talking in hushed voices and glancing over at the street. Squinting, Tim could just barely make out the figure of someone leaning against a parked motorcycle. He walked forward slowly, trying to identify the man, and he was certain it was a man now, until he stopped in his tracks, a goofy grin breaking out on his face. Jason waved his hand over his head enthusiastically, finally catching sight of him. Tim hurried over to him, still grinning widely.

                “What are you doing here?” he asked.

                “I missed you too much and came to pick you up from classes.” He reached forward and took Tim’s hand in his own. “Did they go okay?”

                Tim looked down at their intertwined hands and nodded. “Yeah…they were okay.”

                “Come on, then,” he said, jerking his head behind him. “Let’s get home.”

                Jason swung a leg over his bike and Tim climbed on behind him, wrapping his arms tightly around his boyfriend. He leaned against him, soaking up all the warmth that he could as they pulled away from the school. The wind had a bit of bite to it as it whipped his hair and pulled at his clothes. Tim wasn’t complaining though. He just grinned and buried his face in the back of Jason’s leather jacket, content to feel the movement of his muscles underneath the layers of clothes as they shifted with the bike around traffic and while turning corners.

                The drive was over quickly, Jason stowing his bike in a more private place than the underground parking garage of the apartment complex offered. Tim grabbed his hand as they walked through the front entrance of the building and caught the waiting elevator. Jason hit the button for their floor and kept Tim close, prepared to keep him in his space for the rest of the night.

                The two walked down the hall once the doors had opened, not quite in a hurry, but not willing to linger for very long, intent on getting behind closed doors. Jason pulled out his actual apartment key for once and unlocked the door, ushering Tim inside first before locking the door behind them. Satisfied that they were finally alone, Jason wrapped an arm around Tim’s waist and pulled him close, capturing his lips for a deep kiss.

                Once they broke away, Tim was slightly out of breath and a light flush was dusted across his cheeks.

                Jason grinned down at him. “Miss me?”

                Tim stared at him for a minute, before a body-wracking laugh bubbled up inside of him. “I-I’d say that it was more like you missed me,” he forced out between gasps for breath.

                He just grinned wider and pulled Tim with him towards the couch. He forced his backpack off and set it on the floor before pulling him into his lap as they sat down heavily on the couch.

                “So how were classes today?” Jason asked, wrapping his arms around Tim so that he was pressed tightly against him. “Obviously you survived so there were no evil idiots trying to take my boyfriend away.”

                Tim wrapped his arms around Jason’s shoulders and started running his fingers through his hair, earning him several happy and content sighs. “They were okay for the most part.” He opened his mouth to say more, but decided against it, shaking his head instead.

                “What aren’t you telling me?” Jason asked.

                Tim pursed his lips and looked away.

                “Babybird…what happened? You can tell me,” he prodded.

                Tim opened his mouth again and sighed, still not looking at him. “I had a little bit of trouble. I was a little anxious being back in my classes, but there’s this one guy in accounting. On any regular day he’d try and do something to get under my skin-I don’t even know what he has against me-but today was just…” He cut himself off and shuddered.

                Jason started rubbing soothing circles into Tim’s back, helping him try and relax again.

                “He didn’t say anything important-just that he’d thought I’d finally dropped out of school. But I’ve never liked him. He’s all frat-guy-douche-canoe. Anyway…after class I just got really anxious and ran to the bathroom and didn’t think that I would be able to make it through the rest of the day.”

                “Why didn’t you call me?” Jason murmured.

                “I almost did. I had your contact pulled up and everything, but I stopped and stared at the picture that I’d set as your contact. It’s of the two of us. We’re so relaxed and happy and just seeing that…it was enough. It was enough to know that you love me despite how much shit we’ve both gone through and that if I’d called you, you wouldn’t hesitate to come get me. It relaxed me. Knowing how much you care for me.”

                “I love you, Tim,” Jason said, looking deeply into his eyes. “I love you so much. You give light to my life. You’re like the oxygen that I need to breath. I’d be nowhere without you.”

                Tim felt the tears welling up in his eyes. He surged forward and kissed Jason. Hard. Jason cupped his check and pulled away, rubbing the tears away with his thumb.

                Tim giggled wetly. “This is like one of those spur-of-the-moment proposals in rom-coms.”

                Jason smiled. “Do you want it to be?”

                Tim’s eyes widened and he stared at Jason. “I-I…I don’t know.”

                Jason shrugged. “My heart, my soul, my _everything_ already belongs to you. I don’t need a wedding to prove that. But if I were ever to get married to anyone, I’d want it to be you.”

                “Okay,” Tim breathed.

                Jason smiled lazily. “Is that an acceptance to this supposed marriage proposal?”

                “No. Yes. Maybe both? It’s an acceptance of you. Of your love for me. And how much I love you and how much I belong to you as much as you belong to me.”

                Jason tangled his fingers in Tim’s hair and closed the distance between their mouths, exchanging lazy and loving kisses. He shifted until he was laying down, back propped up against the armrest and Tim supported on his body. Nothing felt more perfect than the two of them in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, comments, and kudos are always loved and appreciated! :D
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter! I forgot how much I love writing for this story. :) I wish I could write for it all the time, but sadly I can't. And I have other things to update. 
> 
> But enjoy! 
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim yawned deeply as he pushed through the window to Jason’s apartment. Jason was still out on patrol and had threatened to force Tim back home to get some sleep if he didn’t go and get some himself. He reset the alarms and walked past the couch and down the hall into the bedroom. He pulled of his mask and slowly left his uniform in a pile on the floor of the closet before exchanging his jock for a pair of boxers and a shirt. He crawled into bed and pulled the blanket around his shoulders, sinking into the mattress as his traitorous eyes slid shut to give him a few hours of sleep.

                He groaned as his alarm went off. Tim struggled to open his eyes and looked around the bedroom. Jason wasn’t in bed with him, but he could hear the shower running in the bathroom. He raked his fingers through his hair and let out a yawn while climbing out of bed. He grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on over his boxers.

                Tim walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to put together some breakfast. He found a box of cereal in the cabinets and grabbed a clean bowl. He took the milk from the fridge and a spoon from one of the drawers, carrying everything over to the table with him. He sat down and heard the water shut off in the bathroom. He poured his cereal and slumped down in his chair as he brought the first spoonful up to his mouth.

                Jason’s footsteps were almost silent and would’ve been if he hadn’t just gotten out of the shower and had wet feet that barely squeaked as he moved. He walked into the kitchen and pressed a kiss to the top of Tim’s head. He looked up at his boyfriend as he munched on his mouthful of cereal and was rewarded with a tired smile.

                “How did the rest of patrol go?” he asked around his cereal.

                Jason cringed a little at Tim and sighed. “It was all right. I think I found a lead to some new organization that’s trying to pop up. I’ll work on doing some research today and see if I can find some more leads tonight.”

                “Oh?” Tim asked and Jason sat down in the chair next to him, still wrapped up in only a towel. “What do you think it might be? I might be able to help.”

                Jason hummed and propped his chin in the palm of his hand as he leaned against the side of the table. “I’m not too sure yet what it is, but I’ll see if I have anything we can go over tonight after you get back from classes. Is today a busy day for you?”

                Tim shook his head. “No. I just have two classes today. Both of them are fifty minutes so it won’t be too bad. I’ll be back early.”

                “Do you want a ride back from campus?”

                “No, I should be fine and you need to get some sleep. I can handle the subway ride back at least one day.”

                Tim smiled as Jason tried to stifle a yawn. He pushed out of his chair and gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking his used bowl to the sink and replacing the milk in the fridge. He grabbed his backpack where it’d been left next to the couch the night before and slid his feet into his converse. He gave Jason one last smile over his shoulder and received another tired smile in return. And a yawn.

                “I’ll see you later. Love you,” he muttered quickly before pushing out the door, blood rushing to his cheeks.

                Tim hurried down the stairs and out the front door, turning to the subway entrance that was the next block over. He maneuvered through the crowd easily and slid through the turnstiles. Tim wove through people and evaded the quickly congregating crowds, slipping through the open doors of the train cars and finding a spot among the work crowd. He ignored the few open seats that dotted the car in favor of taking up a position right next to the door. He’d rather not have to battle the crowds to get out at his stop.

                Once his stop arrived, he already knew that he was doing better than the day before. The anxiety was still there and he felt his chest constrict a little, but Tim only had two classes to get through today before he could head back home and spend some time with Jason. Two classes and then everyone would know that he’s back and his appearance in class wouldn’t matter. He could return to his life and just focus on everything that needed to get done.

                Tim stuffed his hands deep into his jeans’ pockets as he moved onto campus. As was the case the day before, he wasn’t receiving much attention from the few people hanging around on the quad or going to class, which he found helpful when dealing with all of this. He made it to his building without any catastrophic events occurring and ducked into his finance classroom.

                It was still half-empty and he took a seat towards the back, opting to sit at the end of one of the tables that filled the small space of the room. It was one of his smaller classes so he knew that his absence hadn’t gone unnoticed. Not that he could help it. Tim pulled out his laptop and settled down behind it, not daring to look around the room in case there were any curious people giving him looks or shooting glances his way.

                He focused on his breathing instead. Mentally counting the beats that his breaths lasted as he inhaled and exhaled. He focused on releasing the tension that had crept into his posture. He forced himself to lean back into the chair and let his shoulders drop. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and when he felt himself become more relaxed he opened his eyes to find his professor shuffling papers at the front of the room.

                Tim pulled his laptop closer towards him and let his forearms rest on the edge of the desk. His professor glanced up at the clock before turning to everyone with a smile.

                Finances was a subject that he’d gotten the hang of fairly quickly. He’d had a lot of practice keeping up with everything and having to check and run numbers for W.E. so it wasn’t anything new that he had to deal with. And unknown to most of the people who he went to school with, there were many nights where he was up late poring over bank statements and other documents that had to do with money and expenses. No one ever said vigilante skills didn’t come in handy in the real world.

                He shoved his laptop back into his backpack and left the room behind two of his classmates who were having a conversation. He was halfway paying attention while focusing on where he would be able to find a seat during his break between classes.

                “Did you hear about Gavin’s brother?”

                “No, what happened?”

                “He was found dead in a warehouse. Was shot in the head.”

                Tim nearly froze as his blood ran cold. He forced his face to remain expressionless and listened more closely to the friends walking in front of him.

                “Are you serious?!”

                “I know, it’s insane. He was such a nice guy, too.”

                “How’s Gavin handling it?”

                “He’s taken it pretty hard. The two of them were really close and did practically everything together while they were growing up. The funeral was a few days ago actually.”

                “Wow…I can’t believe he’s gone. He had so much left ahead of him.”

                “Yeah…well I’ll catch you later for lunch, I guess.”

                Swallowing thickly and checking for anyone nearby who might be watching him, Tim hurried towards the closest common area that he could find. He settled himself in the back corner where there was a blessedly empty arm chair and pulled out his laptop and his phone. He didn’t have any missed calls or messages and hoped that Jason was at least getting some sleep. He opened his laptop and pulled up Google. Typing quickly, he searched for Presley’s name and found a news article about the funeral. He clicked on the link and felt his stomach drop through the floor.

                The article was coverage about Presley’s family and the funeral. And at the top of the page was a family photo from when he was still alive. Mr. and Mrs. Jones stood next to each other looking very serious in the photo. Standing next to them with their arms around each other was Presley and his brother Gavin Jones. The same Gavin that had been sitting behind him in his accounting class all semester.

                Tim looked up and surveyed the surrounding areas, unable to shake the feeling that he would walk in at any time or someone would show up to drag him away again. His nerves were spiking, but he honestly didn’t think that he could be blamed for reacting this way. He just learned that one of the guys in his class was related to the man who hurt him. And there was nothing that meant he hadn’t been involved. Tim had wondered how they’d managed to find him at school. He guessed he had his answer now.

                He grabbed his phone and shot a quick text off to Jason telling him when he got out of class and that if he was awake to give him a ride home. He’d rather not have to cross campus alone especially after last time. Tim set it on the armrest and turned back to his computer, forcing his mind on to his work. He had some time to get W.E. things in order and he needed to make sure that he didn’t fall behind now that he was finally on top of everything again.

                Tim was almost late to his second class after becoming so caught up in all of the emails and reports that he was involved in. He’d been forced to rush across the quad to the liberal arts building where his history class was. He slipped through the door of the classroom and into the last open seat next to it. He pulled his computer out and opened up the word doc that held his notes and sat back in his chair, trying to slow down his heartrate after nearly sprinting across campus.

                “Pass your papers up to the front please.”

                Tim reached into his bag and pulled his essay from the folder inside, giving it to the person next to him to pass on to their professor. After collecting all of their papers their professor settled at the front of the room and started to lecture. He let the facts and information wash over him as he began to type it out on his computer. The motions were relaxing and it was nice to not have to put any energy into being in the class. For once he could just sit back and just work on absorbing what was presented to him.

“See you all on Thursday.”

Tim shoved his computer back in his bag and pulled out his phone as he pulled the door open. He smiled as he read over the reply Jason had sent back and headed down the stairs of his building. His smile grew as he headed across the quad towards the road where he saw Jason leaning against his bike on the curb, earning appreciative looks from people on campus as he’d done the day before. He quickened his pace as Jason pushed off his bike and opened his arms for him.

He crashed into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around his torso. Jason chuckled and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

“Hey, babe. How was your day?”

“A little better. Although we need to talk about something I learned today when we get home.” The sound of Tim’s voice was muffled by Jason’s shirt.

Jason rubbed his hand over Tim’s back. “Come on. Let’s get back.” He pulled away and swung a leg over his bike before Tim did the same. He wrapped his arms back around him and they pulled away from the curb, sliding among the cars easily and seamlessly. He closed his eyes and let the sensations take over. The rush of the wind in his ears, the honking of the cars and traffic, the feel of Jason’s back slowly expanding and contracting as he breathed. He let the melody of Gotham wash over him as they tore through the town and headed home.

Jason pulled Tim to him as soon as they were back at the apartment complex. He wrapped an arm around his waist and kept him at his side as they rode up the elevator and walked through the hallway. Tim slung his own arm around Jason’s back and leaned into his side as they walked, absorbing the warmth that practically radiated from his skin.

Jason kicked the door shut behind them and kissed Tim’s check as he moved to take off his leather jacket. It was only then that Tim recognized the tiredness around his eyes and the minute lethargic quality that his movements had taken on. Tim kicked off his shoes and moved into Jason’s space so he was looking up at him.

“Did you get any sleep this morning?” he sighed, propping his chin against his chest.

Jason smiled sheepishly and wrapped his arms around Tim, holding him close. “Maybe a little.”

“Clearly not enough. You look exhausted.”

“You’re more important.”

Tim sighed and buried his face in Jason’s chest. “Come on. Let’s go lay down. Maybe then you’ll get some sleep.”

He pulled out of his embrace and took hold of his hands, walking backwards down the hallway, much to Jason’s amusement. He turned around to navigate through the bedroom door and over to the bed. Tim slipped his backpack from his shoulders and set it at the foot of the bed before crawling on top of the comforter, pulling Jason with him all the way. He arranged the pillows against the headboard and settled against them before settling Jason between his legs so his back was pressed against his chest and he could wrap his arms around him.

Jason sighed and relaxed against him, content to let Tim trace various patterns on his chest as he closed his eyes. “How was school?” he asked, tiredly.

“It went well today. Although I learned some new information that you’ll probably be interested to know.”

“What’s that?” he asked, voice becoming thick and gravelly as he continued to approach sleep.

“Presley had a brother.”

Jason tensed under him. “And?” he asked, anger palpable.

“And…unbeknownst to me until this morning, he’s in one of my classes at Gotham U.”

Jason opened his eyes and glared at the ceiling above him. “Great so more stock that we don’t need-“ he cut himself off with a gasp and sat up quickly, nearly hitting Tim’s chin with his head.

Tim looked at him, mouth open in shock and arms hanging awkwardly in the air where they’d previously been around Jason. He let out a squeak when Jason pulled him into his lap and steadied himself by grabbing onto Jason’s shoulders. Jason searched his face desperately.

“Jason?” Tim asked warily.

“Tim…do you…” he swallowed thickly, “do you think he’s the reason-the reason you got…”

Tim smiled sadly and nodded. “I think he had something to do with it.”

Jason nodded and took a shuddering breath. He tangled his fingers in Tim’s hair and brought their mouths together slowly. Tim let his eyes fall shut as they exchanged kisses. He pushed himself against Jason and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling their bodies as close as possible.

Jason leaned their foreheads together. “I don’t want to lose you again,” he whispered.

“You won’t. Nothing can ever take me away from you. I won’t let anything take me away.”

“I’m going to have to do something about him.”

Tim closed his eyes. “I know.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

He sighed. “I know that anything I say won’t stop you. And you want answers as much as I do.”

“Do you want to be there?”

Tim let his forehead fall to Jason’s shoulder and his arms fall in the space between them. “I think I might need to be.”

“He might know who you are.”

“I know.” Tim shut his eyes, feeling the old stresses and worries flood through him again. His body felt heavy, weighed down from everything that he’d had to deal with already.

“I might kill him.”

“I know.”

“Are you going to try and stop me if I do?”

Silence filled the space between them.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m just ready to be done with all of this. I want it to be over. I want to live my life and be with you and go to school and just do the things that I enjoy doing.” Much to his own frustration, Tim felt tears welling up. He was tired of crying. He thought he’d cried enough. He didn’t know how he could possibly have any tears left. Tim sat up and wiped furiously at his eyes.

“Shh Tim…” Jason said softly, cupping his face between his hands and rubbing the tears away with his thumbs.

He took a shaky breath. “I’m tired, Jason. I’m just so tired of this.”

“I know, baby. I know you are. And I don’t want this to keep getting in your way. We’re going to take care of it okay? After this, there’s not going to be anything left to hurt you, okay?”

“Promise?” he asked, feeling slightly childish as he looked up at Jason, blue eyes wide and eyelashes wet with tears.

“Promise,” Jason said, kissing his cheek and wiping away the last of the tears. “Come on, let’s take a nap,” he said, patting Tim’s thigh.

Tim huffed, but moved off of Jason to allow him to settle back down on the bed. “You can take a nap, I have work to do.

Jason rolled his eyes and watched as Tim dragged his backpack to him and settled back against the pillows. He threw his arm around Tim’s waist and pressed his face up against his side. Tim pulled his laptop from his bag and set it on top of his legs, smiling down at Jason’s sleeping form. He opened his computer and logged into his email, but let his gaze drift towards the window and the cityscape outside. It wasn’t until Jason’s breathing evened out and his arm became a heavy, comforting weight around his body that he allowed himself to become engrossed in his work, never quite forgetting Jason’s presence at his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, comments, and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com


	22. Chapter 22

                Tim felt Jason finally stir next to him after several hours. His arm tightened where it was draped over his waist and he felt a gentle press of lips at his side where his shirt had gotten pushed up. He chuckled and looked down at his side where Jason was looking up at him and smiling. He shut his laptop and set it on the floor with his backpack before wiggling down the sheets so he was face to face with Jason.

                “Feeling better after some sleep?” he asked, twisting the white streak in Jason’s hair around one of his fingers.

                “Much better,” he murmured. “Have you been doing work this whole time?”

                “Yeah. I had some school work to do and a few more emails and reports to look through which didn’t take too long. Now that I’m back pretty regularly with W.E. there hasn’t been too much work sent my way. When I finished with that I sort of got distracted by something else…” he trailed off as he felt his face flush.

                “Oh?” Jason asked, obviously interested as he noticed the blush spread over Tim’s cheeks. “And what was so captivating that it was able to distract you from your workaholic tendencies?” he asked, wrapping his arm around Tim’s waist and pulling him closer.

                Tim fidgeted. “After the other day and what we’d talked about I started looking at…um…” he swallowed and looked away.

                “What?” Jason asked, ducking his head to try and catch Tim’s eyes, grin pulling at the edges of his mouth as he avoided his gaze.

                Tim bit his lip and buried his face against Jason’s chest. “I started looking at stuff about…weddings,” he whispered.

                “Weddings?” Jason asked, pulling away and bringing his hand up to tap Tim’s chin with his finger so he’d look at him. “What were you thinking?”

                “I honestly don’t know. It’s stupid, really. I don’t know anything about weddings and wouldn’t even know where to start. I’m not sure if I even want to be the one to plan the wedding.”

                “I’m sure that someone else would be happy to do it for you if you didn’t want to, but I’m sure that there are some things that you’d like to have input on.”

                Tim shrugged. “I don’t know.”

                Jason hummed and propped his chin in his hand. “Well, let’s start with something easy. What kind of tux would you wear? Would it be white? Black? Have some red accents?”

                “We do love the color red, don’t we?” Tim asked, laughing.

                “That we do,” he said, grinning. “Black suit, red vest, and red pocket square?”

                “I like that on you,” he answered, resting the palm of his hand against Jason’s chest.

                “Then what are you going to wear?”

                “White suit, red vest, and red pocket square?” Tim asked, biting his lip.

                “Anything you want, Tim. And I think you’ll look beautiful in it,” Jason said with a smile. “But we can talk wedding plans later. We need to eat some dinner before we head out on patrol to question a certain someone about what he knew about his brother’s activities.”

                Tim groaned but crawled to the edge of the bed and climbed off after Jason, following him into the kitchen. He took a seat at the table and watched as Jason started pulling various things from the refrigerator and pans from the cabinet. He propped his chin in his hand as Jason started whistling a tune and prepping ingredients. From what he could see it looked like he was making steak and vegetables.

                “Do you think that you’ll have flowers?” The sound of Jason’s voice pulled him from his daydreams.

                “Hm? Oh…I don’t think so. Flowers are nice and all but I don’t really want to deal with a bouquet. We could just have flower arrangements around the reception area and minimize the amount we actually need. How do you know so much about what goes in to weddings, anyway?”

                Jason smiled at him over his shoulder. “I wouldn’t call it an extensive knowledge. I’m really just asking the obvious questions. I don’t know a lot about what really goes into weddings. Do you know where you want to have it or who you want to invite?”

                “I was thinking just friends and family. We could have it at the Manor. It would be private there and we wouldn’t have to go anywhere else for the reception. Plus people might start asking questions about who exactly I’m getting married to if we had it more public.”

                “Very true. Alfred’s going to go insane with all of the cooking and cleaning. Not to mention the amount of people who are going to be in one space. So many things could go wrong with so many vigilantes running around.”

                “Maybe…I think he’ll look forward to it. And he doesn’t have to cook. We can easily have someone cater.”

                Jason scoffed as he sat down with two plates of food, handing one off to Tim. “You really think that he’s going to allow someone else to bring their half-assed food into the Manor? Or let them near his kitchen?”

                Tim smiled. “I suppose you’re right. We’ll see what he wants to do in any case. If he does want to cook I’m sure that whatever he puts together will be perfect.”

                “Do you want to have a best man or bridesmaid-well, groomsmaid?”

                “I don’t know. Do you think you’ll have one?” Jason sighed and glanced to the side. Tim smiled. “Were you going to ask Dick?”

                “I think so. He would probably be upset if he didn’t get that role. And I think he’ll enjoy himself in any case.”

                “I think he’ll like it. It would definitely mean a lot to him after everything that’s happened in our family.”

                Jason smiled and reached across the table to squeeze Tim’s hand, before returning to his meal. The two of them were silent for a moment, enjoying the food that Jason had prepared.

                “What kind of cake do you want?”

                Tim wrinkled his nose, picturing some huge, gaudy, three-tier cake. “Nothing big. I don’t want one of those disgusting cakes that many people get for their weddings. We should just do cupcakes or something.”

                “What, you don’t want to cut the cake?”

                Tim quirked up an eyebrow. “And you do?”

                Jason shrugged. “I’m happy just smashing a cupcake into your face.”

                Tim pointed his fork at Jason. “Careful what you say, Todd. Don’t assume that I’ll go easy on you just because you’ll be my husband.”

                “Tim Todd?”

                “Tim Drake-Todd?” he asked, perching his chin in his palm.

                Jason leaned over the table. “Tim Drake-Wayne-Todd?”

                Tim shook his head. “Too long. Would I even be able to legally change my name since you’re, you know, kind of dead according to city records?”

                “Probably not, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun imagining it,” Jason said, standing and collecting their plates to carry over to the sink.

                Tim pushed out of his chair and headed back towards the bedroom with Jason following closely behind. He pulled the closet door open, smiling when Jason wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed the top of his head before freeing him to take his suit from the hanger. He laid it out across the bed as he stripped out of his jeans and shirt. He exchanged his boxers for a jock strap and undid the clasps on his suit, sliding his legs through the Kevlar and maneuvering his arms through the sleeves. He walked back over to the closet and grabbed a domino and the spirit gum, putting it firmly in place over his eyes. Finally he slid his feet into the boots and grabbed his gloves, securing the straps around his wrists.

                He stepped back as Jason slid his arms through the sleeves of his leather jacket and slipped his helmet over his head, covering the domino that had already been put in place. Tim followed after Jason back to the living room and watched as he disabled the security on the apartment window and pushed it open, letting the two of them out before securing the apartment once again. They moved silently up the fire escape to the rooftop. Tim took a moment to breath in the cool air before turning his attention to the wealthier part of town.

                “Are you sure you want to be there with me?” Jason asked, quietly.

                “Yes,” he said and started running across the rooftops towards the largest and most expensive apartment buildings in Gotham. He would’ve thought that he would be nervous to confront Gavin after everything that had happened. What he felt instead was a steely determination and calm composure. His focus was sharper than it had been in a while and he was ready to put all of this behind him.

                Jason placed a hand on his shoulder as they paused on top of the building across the street from their destination. He gave him a reassuring squeeze before jumping from the roof and firing the grapple to the penthouse across from them. Tim followed quickly and landed silently behind Jason who moved towards the rooftop door and began picking the lock.

                The door swung open and they heard the faint warning sound of a security alarm. Tim walked over and immediately hacked into the system, disarming the basic and almost laughable security that a wealthy family could own, silencing the sound.

                “I was waiting for you to show up,” a weary voice spoke up from the hallway. Tim turned to find Gavin standing there in a pair of sweatpants and a thin shirt.

                Jason clenched his hands into fists and moved to stand in front of Tim, the sudden anger palpable in the small space. Tim was nearly taken aback by it himself since he was only experiencing a sense of calm.

                “I have a few things to ask you,” Jason said.

                “I’d expect so after having your boyfriend kidnapped by my brother,” he said, sighing.

                “You were part of it, weren’t you?” he asked, voice steely.

                Gavin moved over to one of the many couches that filled up the open space. “No point denying it, since you obviously know that I was. The months that I spent sitting behind him in Accounting can hardly be considered coincidence.”

                Tim frowned at Gavin’s easy compliance. It was incredibly different from what he experienced at school. He wasn’t acting haughty or stuck up at all. He sounded defeated in all honesty, prepared for the worst case scenario.

                “Yet you chose to spy on him for your brother. Do you even know what he did to him?” Jason was on the verge of shouting. His anger growing as the conversation progressed.

                “I had some vague ideas. I wasn’t at the warehouse, but Presley was never afraid to brag about what he considered his…conquests.”

                Tim whipped a hand out to grab Jason’s arm as he made to move forward.

                Gavin eyed him warily. “I’m honestly not sure what I expected to happen when Pres started planning this whole thing. I thought it wasn’t going to be anything serious. I didn’t expect anyone to get hurt or him to go through with it.”

                “And you think that excuses what you did?”

                “No. It doesn’t. People got hurt. Do I think he still would’ve gone through with all of it even if I hadn’t been involved? Yes. Could I have done something to prevent it? I’m not sure. But I could’ve at least tried to stop it. Hindsight’s a bitch.”

                “You’re damn right it is,” Jason growled.

                Gavin stood from his spot on the couch and Jason pulled out of Tim’s grasp who let go of him rather reluctantly. He stalked over to the other man and paused briefly before drawing his right hand back and punching him across the face. The force of the blow sent him to the floor where he coughed and spluttered, clutching at his face. Tim saw a small blood splatter on the floor in front of him.

                Gavin sat back on his heels and touched his nose gently, wincing as he jarred the break. “Is that enough to satisfy you or are you going to kill me like you killed my brother?”

                “Red?” Jason asked.

                Tim looked between the two of them. Gavin looked up at him, looking utterly defeated and resigned to whatever fate that he would be left with. “No. He can live with the weight of his decisions for the rest of his life like I have to.”

                Jason nodded and crouched down in front of Gavin, grabbing his chin roughly. “If I ever catch wind that you step out of line again, I won’t hesitate to come looking for you.” He let him go and stood. He regarded the man before him for a moment before delivering a swift kick to his abdomen that left him curled up in a ball and whimpering.

                Jason turned and ushered Tim back out of the penthouse and across the street once again to the safety of the darkness. As soon as they had their feet firmly planted on a rooftop once again, Jason hurriedly pulled off his helmed and pulled Tim to him, capturing his lips in a desperate kiss. When they parted he leaned their foreheads together and sighed. Tim brought up one of his hands and cupped the side of Jason’s face, rubbing his gloved thumb across the skin.

                “I’m proud of you,” he said, quietly.

                “I feel like I should be the one saying that to you,” Jason said, bitterly.

                Tim shrugged. “It wasn’t what I expected. He was like a different person. And I think he’s going to be different from now on. I don’t think that I have anything to worry about. Anymore at least. I’m ready to move forward. This is over.”

                Jason squeezed his hip, comfortingly. “I’m so proud of you, Tim.”

                He rolled his eyes and rested his cheek against Jason’s chest, listening to the faint heartbeat underneath all of the body armor and Kevlar. “I think that we should go to the Manor for dinner tomorrow.”

                Jason brought his arms around Tim’s shoulders. “Yeah?”

                “Yeah. I think it’s time. I miss him.”

                “And I’m sure that he misses you. We can tell them that we’re planning on getting married, too.”

                “Yeah.”

                “Come on,” he said, rubbing Tim’s back before stepping away. “We should actually get on with patrol. It _is_ our job to protect the people of Gotham.”

                Tim laughed. “Race ya,” he said, taking off across the rooftops. They’d gotten off course of their normal routes since they made a visit to Gavin’s. They were near the edge of their own patrol route which was where Tim’s usually brushed past-Tim skidded to a stop as a black form emerged from the darkness in the middle of his path.

                “Hey! Why’d you-oh,” Jason said, coming to stand next to him.

                “Red Robin, Red Hood,” Bruce acknowledged. “I see you’re both back in the field tonight.”

                “Yeah.”

                “You’re off the normal timing of your route.”

                “We had something come up that had to be dealt with. Everything’s fine now and we were just getting back to patrol.”

                “I see.” He walked past them in the direction that they’d just come from.

                “Batman?” Tim asked.

                “Yes?”

                “Would you let Alfred know that we’d like to come over for dinner? Tomorrow?”

                Tim thought he caught the barest hint of a smile as he turned away from them. “Of course. I think he’ll be happy to see you two again.”

                Just as he’d come, Bruce disappeared into the shadows, leaving them alone.

                “Well, we have some work to do,” Jason said, interrupting the silence that had fallen between them.

                Tim smiled and took off across the rooftop again, ignoring the disgruntled shout the came from Jason as he took the lead. He forced himself to keep his sprint across the buildings and knew that if he slowed down even the tiniest bit, Jason would catch him in a flash. He pushed himself even harder as he saw the edge of the rooftop approaching and wide open space below him. He pulled his grapple from his belt and was just about to launch himself off the edge when a hand closed around his bicep and pulled him backwards.

                “Son of a bitch,” Tim grumbled as he looked back to pout at Jason who was panting and holding him close.

                “Got…you…”

                “You gonna be okay over there, old man?” he asked with a smirk.

                “Fuck you, Babybird. You’re fast when you want to be, but I did manage to catch you in the end.”

                “Just barely.”

                Jason straightened and pulled his own grapple out. Tim was sure that he was rolling his eyes or making a face. “You’re lucky I love you,” he said, jumping from the rooftop and swinging to the building across from them.

                Tim’s shoulders dropped as he watched Jason swing up and land gracefully on the rooftop. Grumbling, he followed quickly, breaking into a run as he landed to follow Jason where he’d taken off. They were making decent progress through the city and he was surprised by the slow night. Well, he was until a soft whimper caught his and Jason’s attention. They made their way to an opening between two buildings and looked down into the alley below.

                A man was holding a couple of women at gun point and had them backed up against a wall.

                “Shall we?” Jason asked, cracking his knuckles.

                “We shall,” Tim said, jumping into the alley below.

                The mugger didn’t put up much of a fight and the rest of patrol was pleasant for the most part. Tim returned to the apartment and crawled into bed a few hours before Jason made it back and got some blessed sleep that his alarm would undoubtedly wake him from all too soon when he was expected to go to classes the next day.

                He was looking forward to it all. The dark clouds that had continued to hang over his life had finally seemed to recede and he was ready to face the world as it was. He was ready to live and he was ready to move forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, comments, and kudos are always loved and appreciated!
> 
> my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> <3 MOLIM


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that I just posted a chapter of this last week, and some of you may have noticed that I updated the chapter count, but for those who haven't, this is the penultimate chapter. After this we only have one more to go and then this story is going to come to a close. I'm feeling pretty bittersweet right now and just didn't want to make y'all wait, so have another chapter of this. I'm probably going to end up crying when I post the last chapter, but I'm not there yet so everything's going to be okay. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me for so long and reading my work. I hope this makes you as happy as it's made me. 
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim woke up to a heavy weight settling over his waist. He hummed happily, the sound quickly turning into a groan of frustration as his alarm started going off and blaring at him from its place on the bedside table. He reached blindly for it and smacked it several times before sighing in defeat and pulling it towards himself. He shut off the offending sound and felt Jason bury his face in the back of his neck.

                “Do you really have to go to class today?” he sighed, sounding more pitiful than he would probably care to admit.

                Tim wiggled around in his arms and looked up into Jason’s tired eyes. “Unfortunately. But I’ll be done before you know it and you’re going to get some much needed sleep while I listen to my professors drone on about business subjects. And then you can come pick me up and we can head over to the Manor for dinner.”

                Jason groaned again and closed his eyes, turning his face into the pillow. “Great. Golden Boy is probably going to be all kinds of hyped up on sugar.”

                Tim chuckled and pressed a kiss to Jason’s chin. “It’ll be fine. And we can get him to calm down a little bit when we tell him that he’ll be your best man at our wedding.”

                “You’re not making things any better there, babe. That’ll just make him worse.”

                Tim patted his arm. “Come on. Let me up so I can get some breakfast and get ready for my classes.”

                “I should at least cook for you,” Jason mumbled, sleep already tugging at him relentlessly.

                He leaned down and kissed him again. “No. You stay here and get some sleep. You need it after patrol. And you’ll need it even more by the time tonight rolls around and he we have to deal with entertaining people. And by people, I mean Bruce.”

                Jason sighed and Tim started running his fingers through his hair soothingly. The sensation was welcomed and helped him drift off to sleep that much quicker. Once Tim was sure his breathing had evened out, he moved off the bed as carefully as he could and made his way out to the kitchen to hunt down some food.

                He pulled out a couple of slices of toast and stuck them in the toaster before prepping the coffee in the coffeemaker and turning that on. He pulled out a plate as well as the small tub of spreadable butter that was kept in the refrigerator. He added a coffee mug and the carton of milk to everything else that he’d already brought out and leaned back against the counter to wait as the kitchen appliances worked their magic.

                Soon enough he was faced with a full cup of coffee and some slightly-burnt (which was an improvement in and of itself) buttered toast at the table. He ate quickly, caring more for the coffee than the actual food, but knew that he would need to eat something at least. It would only make Jason mad at him if he avoided breakfast altogether.

                Tim left his dishes in the sink and returned to the bedroom to find Jason fast asleep. He smiled at the image of him curled underneath the blanket, arms loosely curled into his chest, and face turned into the pillow. He crept over to his duffle bag that most of his clothes were still in and pulled out a clean pair of jeans and a new shirt. He ruffled around before finding the sweatshirt that he’d packed. He changed quickly and stuffed his feet into his shoes before grabbing his backpack and phone and headed out the door.

                He shivered as he stepped out onto the sidewalk as a particularly brutal gust of wind ruffled his hair. Winter was quickly approaching which wasn’t something he was totally excited about. At least it wasn’t snowing yet and he could still make it to his classes easily. He hurried down the steps to the subway and passed through the turnstile with a simple scan of his pass. He checked his watch and hurried to his platform as the stream of people getting off dwindled, allowing him to slide through the doors easily and grab a spot near the door since there was a larger crowd that morning.

                A few minutes later and Tim was climbing the steps out of the subway and turning towards Gotham University. The campus grounds weren’t very crowded that morning and he saw that everyone else was hurrying to their classes to try and get out of the cold and into the warmth of some of the buildings. He followed suit and headed to the business building for his ethics class that would start off his day.

                He climbed up the stairs to the second floor quickly and pushed through the door of his classroom, plopping down in his seat and pulling out his laptop from his backpack. He opened up several things and reached down to grab his textbook from his bag as well when the professor walked through the door and called everyone to attention.

                “Papers to the front. No exceptions.” A look was shot Tim’s way but he steadfastly ignored it in favor of pulling his assignment from where it had been stored neatly in his folder.

                Tim sat down heavily in his accounting class after enjoying a break to work on other things between his classes. He’d had an unusually large number of emails in his inbox from the employees of W.E. that he’d been forced to deal with. It was honestly grounds for a headache and he was surprised when he didn’t have one. He pulled out the worksheets that they’d been assigned from the last class and sat back in his chair.

                He looked towards the door as it opened and watched as Gavin shuffled in with a nasty bruise on his cheek. He caught Tim’s eye and smiled at him weakly. He nodded at him as he walked past and lowered himself gingerly into the seat behind him without saying a word. Tim allowed a small smile to cross his face and propped his chin in his hand. He felt like this was going to be one of the better days that he’d had recently.

                Tim shuffled out of his Calculus class with a happy sigh. He felt at ease for once and was glad that he’d managed to get through the day with only a tad bit of nervousness. He was happy that things were getting better and knew that they would continue to improve, not only for him, but for Jason as well now that they were taking some steps forward.

                He pulled out his phone as he walked through the hallway and towards the stairs and saw that he had a text from Jason saying that he was waiting for him outside and to hurry because it was cold and a large number of girls kept staring at him. He chuckled and sent him a quick reply letting him know that he was on his way and would be there soon so he wouldn’t have to wait too much longer in the cold and surrounded by a vast number of college women.

                Tim hurried down the stairs of his building and pushed through the main door, taking a deep breath of the crisp air that immediately blew into his face. He spotted Jason across the quad with a car for once instead of his usual bike, not that Tim could blame him with the cool temperature and the wind that would make a ride absolutely brutal. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and hurried across the lawn, bypassing several groups of women, and some men, who were whispering together and pointing in his direction, completely unashamed.

                Jason waved at him as he got closer, grin pulling at the sides of his mouth. He pulled Tim close when he got within arm’s reach and planted a kiss on his cheek.

                “Finally. I didn’t think that you’d ever get your ass out here.”

                Tim pouted and smacked him on the chest. “If it’s such a problem, you didn’t have to get here so early. I could’ve just texted you when I got out and you could’ve come then.”

                Jason scoffed. “And make you wait? Now what kind of fiancé would I be if I let you stand out in the cold and wait on me?”

                Tim felt butterflies explode in his stomach at hearing Jason refer to himself as his fiancé and fought desperately to keep a silly grin off his face, knowing that he’d failed somewhat when Jason gave him a knowing look and squeezed his hip.

                “Come on, we have a dinner to get to,” he said, pulling the passenger side door open and holding it open for Tim who crawled inside, dumping his backpack at his feet. He shut the door and walked around to the driver’s side, climbing in and turning the car on.

                Tim adjusted the controls in order to turn the heat on as Jason maneuvered into traffic and got the car pointed in the direction of the Manor. Traffic was, thankfully, pretty light and the trip didn’t take as long as it could have. He looked up at the imposing façade of the Manor as they pulled up the drive. It’d been so long since he’d been there. Or at least, it’d felt that way. He took a deep breath when Jason parked at the front steps and pushed his door open, climbing out onto the pavement.

                Jason hurried around the car as he shut his door and took his hand, leading him up the steps and to the large, double doors. As they stepped up to the doors, they were pulled opened to reveal Alfred standing in the doorway. He smiled down at them genially and stepped to the side to allow them inside.

                “Master Jason, Master Timothy, welcome back to the Manor.”

                “Thanks, Alfred,” Tim said, giving him a smile that he returned easily, looking relieved that he was smiling once again.

                “Dinner will be served shortly if you’d like to find your way to the dining room. I’ll fetch Master Bruce as well to join you.”

                Jason and Tim nodded at the Butler who headed down the hallway in the direction of the entrance to the Cave. Jason tugged on Tim’s hand and pulled him towards the doors of the dining room. They’d been left open and three place settings had been arranged on the long oak table, two of them next to each other. The two of them sat down and Jason kept Tim’s fingers tangled with his own in his lap. Tim gripped onto his hand tightly and smiled when Jason looked down at him fondly before bringing the back of his hand up to his lips for a kiss.

                The two of them turned towards the door when they heard someone clearing their throat to find Bruce walking in.

                “Alfred will bring the food in soon,” he said, pulling his own chair out and taking a seat across from them. Bruce nodded at both of them. “How are things going? Everything all right?”

                Tim bit his lip and looked down at his lap to try and keep from grinning to hard. Jason rubbed his thumb in soothing circled over the back of Tim’s hand as Bruce gave him a questioning look over Tim’s reaction.

                “Things are going well,” Jason said, glancing to the side. “We actually have something that we’d like to tell you.”

                Bruce sat back and waved his hand in front of him, indicating that Jason could proceed.

                “We’re um…we’re getting married,” he said slowly.

                The three of them looked up, startled, as they heard a loud rattle from the doorway. Alfred was standing there, clutching a tray stacked with covered plates, tightly in his hands, almost as though he had to stop himself from dropping it. He was looking at the three of them with wide eyes, mouth slightly parted in shock, before a grin tugged at the edges of his lips.

                “Well, Master Jason and Master Timothy, I daresay this occasion calls for some champagne,” he said, bringing the tray over to the table. He removed the covers and set the plates in front of each of them.

                “Bring the finest we have, Alfred,” Bruce said, looking up at the butler.

                “Right way, Master Bruce,” he said, turning on his heel and walking back out, tray gripped tightly in his hands.

                “This is some news that I wasn’t expecting to hear today, but I’m happy for you both. Truly. Especially after everything that’s happened over the past several weeks,” Bruce said, shooting a look at Tim who nodded. “Have you started making any arrangements?”

                “We’ve started looking into a few things, but nothing’s set in stone. We were actually hoping to have the wedding here at the Manor.”

                Bruce looked between the two of them.

                “Here we are,” Alfred said, walking through the doorway again with three glasses of wine on his tray. He walked over to the table and passed them out. “It’s not quite champagne, but I daresay it will do the trick in this case.”  

                “You want to have the wedding here at the Manor?” Bruce repeated, slightly skeptical. He looked towards Alfred, whose smile had returned in full force.

                “Yes,” Tim said. “It’s something that we’d both really like to do rather than go somewhere more public. So many things have happened here and this is where our family is and has been.”

                Silence descended on the group.

                “Alfred?” Bruce asked.

                “Yes, Master Bruce?”

                The two men looked at each other.

                “I never thought that I would see the day when this would happen, but I do believe we’re hosting a wedding here at the Manor.”

                “Absolutely, Master Bruce,” Alfred said with a smile.

                Bruce reached forward and picked up his glass between nimble fingers. He raised it towards Jason and Tim and they quickly mimicked the motion. The three men silently took a sip of the wine, enjoying the taste as it slid down their throats.

                The three of them turned towards their plates and looked over the delicious meal that Alfred had prepared for them. Bruce picked up his cutlery and began to eat, swallowing his first bite of food before resuming his line of questioning with Jason and Tim.

                “Have you thought about when you’d like to hold the wedding? What details have you considered?”

                “Spring. It’d be a spring wedding,” Tim blurted, looking away quickly as his cheeks pinked.

                “We were also hoping that since it would be a small wedding, friends and family and maybe some of the other members of the superhero and vigilante community, Alfred wouldn’t mind cooking for us,” Jason said, looking towards the butler who’d moved to a spot in the corner.

                “Of course. Catering companies are completely untrustworthy. I assume that you’d like a cake as well?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

                Jason threw a shit-eating grin in Tim’s direction. “Cupcakes, actually.”

                “Unconventional, but still appropriate regardless.”

                “Have you told anyone else of your engagement, yet?” Bruce asked.

                “No. You two were the first people we’ve told,” Tim said, poking at his food with his fork.

                “I’m sure that Dick will be happy when he hears the news.”

                “You got that right,” Jason grumbled.

                “Hush,” Tim said, giving his hand a squeeze.

                “Well, he won’t have to wait long since he’s coming to the Manor in an hour or so,” Alfred said with a smile.

                Jason groaned and shoved a bite of steak into his mouth.

                The three continued their meal peacefully, exchanging conversation easily and talking over some small details of the wedding to come. Dick eventually arrived and Bruce and Tim took the opportunity to give the two of them privacy. Bruce returned to the cave and Tim walked through the doors leading to the back yard of the Manor. He sat down in the grass and wrapped his jacket tightly around himself to keep away the cold now that they sun was starting to set.

                It wasn’t long before he heard excited shouts coming from inside the Manor and Jason’s loud grumbling and protests. Tim smiled to himself, happy that Dick was so happy. Moments later, the back doors were thrown open and the air was forced from his lungs as strong arms wrapped around him.

                “Why didn’t you tell me you and Jaybird were getting married?!” Dick nearly screeched.

                Tim laughed. “We only recently figured it out. Don’t worry, you haven’t waited too long to hear the news.”

                “This is the best news that I’ve received all week. I have to go tell everyone,” he said. The arms around Tim disappeared as Dick ran back inside the Manor to call up every person that he’s probably ever met in his life.

                Jason sat down next to him with a huff. “Overexcited golden retriever,” he muttered under his breath.

                Tim leaned into his side. “He’s just happy for us.”

                Jason wrapped his arm around Tim’s shoulders and kissed the top of his head. “I know. I thought he was about to start crying when I asked him to be my best man.”

                “It means a lot to him.”

                “I know it does, babe. I tried to get the point across that I’m not going to have a bachelor party, but I’m sure he’s going to steadfastly ignore anything that I say.”

                Tim looked up at Jason. “Let him have his fun. It’s not every day that he gets to be the best man at a wedding.”

                “I know, I know. Why’d you end up coming out here, anyway? I know it wasn’t just to give the two of us some privacy. The Manor’s big enough for one person to disappear for a little while.”

                Tim’s smile turned melancholy and he looked down at the grass next to him, running his fingers through it slowly. “There was one last thing that I needed to see. I’ve come so far with my healing and I was interested to know if something else had as well. Remember that blanket? The one that I set on fire and threw out the window?”

                Jason squeezed his shoulders. “How could I forget? The grass patch was all you and Alfred talked about for a few days. He was obsessed with making it better and telling you about it.”

                “Yeah, and It looks like it’s healing. Just as I have over the past couple of weeks.”

                Jason leaned forward and looked around Tim, following his line of sight to where his hand was resting among the slightly discolored strands of grass. He smiled and cupped the side of Tim’s face, bringing their gazes together.

                “I’m so proud of you. You’ve come so far and done so much. I just want you to know that.”

                Tim rested his hand over Jason’s and felt the tears begin to well up in his eyes. “I know. I never thought that I would come this far. Everything seemed so bleak after I got out of that warehouse, but you never gave up on me. You loved me and supported me in everything that I did and every move that I made, even when I tried so hard to push you and everyone else away. I love you, Jason. Thank you for loving me, too.”

                Jason brought their lips together in a slow, deep kiss. He rested their foreheads together and looked deeply into Tim’s blue eyes. “Thank you for letting me love you. You’re worth so much more than I deserve, but I never want to give you up and I want to give you everything that you should get to have in love.”

                Tim smiled and turned to face the large yard behind the Manor, resting his head on Jason’s shoulder. “There’s nothing else I want more than you.”

 Jason’s arm dropped down to his waist and held him close. The two of them breathed in the cool night air and spent several moments enjoying each other’s presence before Dick rushed back outside to tell them how excited everyone was for the wedding. Jason groaned at his antics and Tim laughed. And Dick was happy to see his brother smiling and laughing, once again at ease with the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, comments, and kudos are always loved and appreciated, especially now that we're nearing the end. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr here: my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com


	24. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The last chapter of Unmasked. I'm working really hard not to cry right now as I post this. It's just...I've come so far and written so much for this story. I never imagined how much of a response I would get or how long this story would become when I started writing it back in February. This was the story for me. The one that was so close to my heart thanks to all of you and how dedicated I became to writing it. I poured so much into this and I just want to thank all of you for reading and for those who left kudos and comments and stayed with me from the beginning and thank you to those who jumped on in the middle or maybe towards the end. 
> 
> The point is...you chose to read my story. You chose to sit through 80k of Jaytim fic with a lot of pain and suffering and eventual healing and care and that means so so so much. It feels really weird to finally be bringing this to an end. 
> 
> Let me just say cheers one last time. And I hope to see y'all again. :*
> 
> <3 MOLIM

                Tim felt his chest tighten as he continued to pace around the main room of the Manor. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling a mixture of nervousness and excitement or if he was just going to end up throwing up. He tugged at the sleeves of his white suit jacket, biting his lip. He smoothed down the front of his jacket and vest for the umpteenth time and fought the urge to run a hand through his hair, knowing Dick would probably kill him if he ruined the perfect style job that he’d been given by the hairdresser who’d been brought in for the occasion.

                He thought back to the night before. He and Jason had stayed in the Manor for the first time in months. Dick had forced the two of them into separate rooms wanting to keep the old wedding traditions alive where they couldn’t see each other the night before. Jason had rolled his eyes and Tim had sighed, decided to just go along with it because he knew nothing that he could say would keep Dick from getting what he wanted, especially with how invested he’d become in the planning process.

                When he’d been lying in bed the night before, Jason had called him on his phone and they’d talked to each other until they both fell asleep. It was comforting to talk about their excitement, their nerves, anything and everything really. Tim had refrained from mentioning the months that Jason had spent looking out for him and helping him. He thought that it would be best to keep that out of the conversation. They’d talked about it so much over the months anyway and it was no use bringing it up when Jason would want to comfort him, even though he didn’t need it as much anymore.

                Bruce walked through the doors leading to the back of the Manor and Tim caught a glimpse of the last row of chairs that had been set up. Out there Jason would be waiting for him and dozens of their friends and family were waiting for both of them. Bruce gave him a small smile, taking in his nervous expression and anxious movements and Tim felt his stomach do a flip.

                “Don’t worry. He’s fretting just as much as you are right now,” Bruce said as Tim walked over to him and faced the glass double doors. He held out his arm. “Are you ready?”

                Tim’s hand shook as he gripped Bruce’s elbow. “I fight crime for a living. Taking down muggers and rapists and any nasty supervillain that Gotham has to offer. I jump off buildings without a second thought, letting myself fall back towards Earth before grappling to safety on a larger building across the street. I jump in front of knives and guns if it means keeping someone else out of danger. I’ve had to give myself patch jobs, stitches, and have suffered from a number of concussions and broken bones. And yet, getting married to the love of my life is what has me so terrified and nervous that I feel as though I’ve been sprayed with Scarecrow’s fear gas.”

                Bruce chuckled and patted Tim’s hand where it was gripping onto his elbow. “Don’t worry. He’s just as nervous as you are. It took three people to get him to calm down enough to go and stand out at the altar and wait for you, if not more so. Dick had to threaten to come get you and call off the wedding in order to force him out of the house and into the yard. And that was after he checked over himself five times in the mirror to make sure he looked good enough that you would approve.”

                Tim huffed a laugh, too tense to relax enough to let himself go and laugh properly. “I can only imagine what Dick had to say to get him to do what he wanted.”  

                “Are you ready, Master Timothy?” Alfred asked as he stuck his head through the double doors. “Everyone is ready and waiting.”  

                Tim nodded, fighting down the nerves that threatened him and his stomach. He took a deep breath and tightened his grip on Bruce’s arm.  

                Alfred smiled down at him and pulled the double doors open, standing aside to let them walk through. Tim blinked rapidly against the sunlight and forced himself to breathe as the music rose from where a small string quartet was set up to the side of the altar. He looked over the people standing from their seats, watching him watching them. Finally, as he and Bruce took their first step down from the porch, his eyes landed on Jason and everything else just fell away.

                Jason was wearing a black suit with a red vest, a perfect match to Tim’s white suit. He saw him try to take a step forward but held himself back, knowing that Tim was already making his way towards him. Tim found it hard to breathe as he saw the open love and adoration that was on his face, a small smile tugging at his lips and Tim knew that he was trying to not all out grin. Tim’s own lips quirked up. Their eyes remained locked as Bruce walked with him down the aisle along the carpet that had been rolled out for them.

                The distance felt momentous, but each step brought them closer and closer together. Tim’s heart felt as though it was beating impossibly fast, trying to force its way out of his chest and towards the person to whom it belonged. A wave of different emotions continued to crash over him as he stared at Jason, unblinking.

                _I love you,_ Jason mouthed at him and damn it if that didn’t bring the dam inside of him that much closer to the breaking point.

                Finally, finally, _finally,_ they reached the end of the aisle and Bruce gave Tim’s arm one last squeeze before letting him go and taking his own seat in the front row. Tim stepped forward to face Jason who took hold of his hands in his own as the string quartet brought their peaceful melody to a close.

                The officiator opened his arms and addressed the people in front of him. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of the souls of Jason Peter Todd and Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.”

                Tim gripped onto Jason’s hands tightly as he listened to the introduction continue on. He already felt the tears threatening at the back of his eyes, burning to be let go. Jason was smiling down at him fondly and gave him a comforting squeeze, sensing the emotions rampaging inside of him.

                “Jason and Tim have chosen to prepare their own vows for each other as they exchange their rings,” he said, taking a step back.

                Tim took a shuddering breath as he took the ring that was being held out to him with shaking fingers. “Jason Peter Todd,” he began and new that he was going to lose it before he could get very far into his vows. “When we first met, I never thought that two people could love each other as much as we have come to learn how to. Our relationship was tentative at best and we could never be alone in a room without something going terribly wrong between us. But then something changed.” He took a deep breath as the first tears spilled down his cheeks.

                “We became closer. We saw past the bitterness and hatred and began to care for one another. When we started dating, I was the happiest that I’d ever been…until a part of me was changed forever. I tried to push you away, thinking that there was no way you could ever love. I thought that the pain that I was feeling and the things that I went through would leave you repulsed, never wanting to be with me again. But you refused to give up.” Tim sniffed and Jason brought one of his hands up to wipe at the tears that were streaming down his cheeks.

                “You stayed with me and fought me because you cared about me and you never wanted to let me go. You helped me become strong and move on and simply loved me when I needed it the most. And I fell for you even more, wanting to give you all of the love that you deserved and the love I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to give. And I am so, so happy that I can stand up here today and give you this ring,” he said, sliding the band around Jason’s finger, “because I never want to be without you again. My heart and my soul have been yours and will be yours forever.”

                “Tim,” Jason said, reaching for the ring that was waiting for him, “you’re right when you said that you never would’ve thought two people could learn to love each other so much. I thought the same. We were two very different people and I didn’t think that I needed you in my life. How wrong I actually was.

                “You dropped into my life with the force of an explosion, rocking everything to its core. I was terrified of how much you came to mean to me, never thinking that someone so smart, and cute,” he said laughing, “and funny could ever be interested in me. I became attached, knowing that I wanted you in my life some way or other because I never wanted to go back to living the life that I had before I was able to meet you. A life that seemed colorless and unhappy.

                “Today you might be taking this ring that I give you, but for far longer I have belonged to you. There is no single part of me that hasn’t already committed itself to you and I never want to let you go. You have become the light of my life and a force to be reckoned with. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and even that could never amount to enough time shared between us. I am yours for as long as you’ll have me.”

                Tim took a shaky breath as Jason slid the small gold band onto his finger and clutched onto Jason’s hand after it was in place. The officiator stepped up once more to address everyone now that they’d finished their vows.

                “Honored guests, I am pleased to announce the union of two loving souls. I now pronounce you husband and husband. Jason and Tim, you may now kiss.”

                Jason gently threaded his fingers into Tim’s hair and brought their lips together. They pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each other, grinning and looking deeply into each other’s eyes, even as tears continued to fall from Tim’s. As applause erupted from their audience, the string quartet began to play once again and Jason held out his arm for Tim which he took easily.

                They walked back down the aisle, smiling at everyone who they passed as they cheered and clapped for the two of them. Once they reached the end to the carpet, they turned towards the tent that had been set up for the reception. They pushed through the tent flap to find several tables set up with a dance floor and DJ. The servers who had been hired to help were waiting around the edges of the tent for the rest of the guests to file in.

                Jason led Tim to the head table and they took their seats next to each other, Jason holding tightly to his hand. They watched as the guests began to file in and the DJ began to play some current music in the background as everyone talked and waited to eat. Bruce, Dick, Damian, and a reluctant Alfred all sat down at the head table with the two of them.

                “Really, Master Bruce, I should go and help with the dinner preparations-“ he said, getting up.

                “Alfred,” Tim broke in, leaning over so he could get a good view of the butler. “Please join us and eat. You’ve done so much already and I would really like to share this meal with my family. My _whole_ family.” 

                “Master Timothy…” Alfred said, looking shocked. Dazed, he sat back down in his seat and turned to watch as the servers began to descend on the various tables to begin distributing drinks and taking food orders. The sounds of pleasant chatter filled the spaces of the tent which the music helped to compliment. Tim sighed, happy that everything had already gone so well.

                After their meal had been completed, Jason and Tim found themselves next to a large array of cupcakes that had been placed to fill a whole table. The two of them were holding larger cupcakes specifically for them that they would use to share their first bite of cake.

                Jason swiped his finger through the frosting on the cupcake he was holding and stuck his finger in his mouth to suck it off, giving Tim a wink. Tim just rolled his eyes.

                “Are you going to stand there all day and eat your own cupcake or are we actually going to share this moment together?’ he asked.

                Jason huffed out a laugh and held out his cupcake to Tim who eyed him. “Well go on, you wanted to have your cake.”

                Tim gave him one more look before smiling tentatively and leaning forward to take a bite. The cupcake was one of the best he’d tasted in a long time, not that he should’ve been surprised since it was Alfred who’d made them. He closed his eyes and hummed in satisfaction…and promptly felt cake and frosting smear all over his face.

                He opened his eyes, startled, to find Jason standing there laughing at him and clutching his side. Tim’s eyes narrowed and he smirked through the frosting covering his lips. He regarded the cupcake in his hand for a minute, before moving forward and shoving it into and around Jason’s mouth. Jason choked as his eyes flew open to find Tim looking up at him with a raised eyebrow. Jason just shrugged and cupped the side of his face, bringing their lips together in a very cake-y and sweet kiss.

                The guests around them laughed and applauded. Jason waved at them before grabbing two napkins from the table as everyone began to get up and make their way over to the cupcakes. He handed one to Tim and began to wipe at his own face.

                “The two of us are a sight to see,” he said chuckling as Tim worked to get all the frosting from his face.

                “Aren’t we always,” he said fondly. “I told you I’d get you back if you did that and look what happened.”

                “I couldn’t resist honestly. And there are plenty of cupcakes if you actually wanted to eat one.”

                Tim shook his head and dumped the dirty napkin into a trash bin before leaning against Jason’s side. He wound an arm around his waist and squeezed his hip, making him sigh and relax even further. He planted a kiss on the top of Tim’s head and Tim looked up at him, smiling, before pushing himself onto his tip toes to meet Jason’s lips.

                “Everyone please clear the dance floor as we welcome the newlyweds for their first dance.” Everyone rushed to the side of the floor as the announcement was made and crowded around the edges and Jason led Tim to the center of the floor. Tim felt his face heat up at all the attention, hoping that the many dance lessons that two of them went through to prepare for this would actually pay off and he wouldn’t mess up any of the steps.

                Jason squeezed his hip. “You’ll be fine,” he whispered as silence descended over the tent before a slow and very lyrical song began. Tim bit his lip as they began to move around the dance floor, furrowing his brow as he focused on not messing up.

                Jason pulled him tighter. “Stop worrying, Tim. You’re doing great. Just relax and enjoy our first dance together. I’d rather be able to stare into your eyes than have you stare at your feet.”

                Tim looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry,” he said, forcing himself to relax.

                “Don’t be. No one’s going to care if you mess up a few steps. They’re more excited to get back on the dancefloor anyway,” he said, nodding to the scene around him.

                Tim looked around, and sure enough, many couples had already returned to the floor to join in and continue their own dancing, taking advantage of the slow song to be as close as possible. Tim chuckled and rested his head against Jason’s chest, closing his eyes and let Jason direct his movements for a few moments.

                “Jason?” Tim asked.

                He dipped his head and placed a kiss on Tim’s hair. “Hm?”

                Tim sighed happily, listening to Jason’s steady heartbeat underneath his ear. “I love you, you know?”

                Jason chuckled and Tim looked up at him, both of their gazes loving. “I know. And I love you, too. More than you could ever now.”

                Jason ducked his head and brought their lips together, the two men pausing in there dancing in favor of kissing deeply. They broke apart and smiled lazily at each other before resuming the steps once again.

                Their first dance was almost over, but their life together had just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts now more than ever. :*
> 
> If you'd like to come find me on tumblr I'm at my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com


	25. SURPRISE!!!!

Now, you may be wondering why you got an email saying that a completed work has an update, well let me tell you.

 

At the request of one of you lovely people, I have been asked to write a series of oneshots that take place in this universe. And I am so happy to say that that series is finally live!!! *cue confetti*

 

You can read the first installment of the Unmasked Oneshots [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10022051) and it's all about Jason and Tim's honeymoon after the wedding.

 

I hope y'all enjoy it and are looking forward to more form this universe. :*

 

<3 MOLIM


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